Dating Online with a Stoma: My Experience and Insights

I just had to edit something here. It was lacking important details from the original post. I am poking fun at my developing experience with online dating as a bagger, dating outside of MAO.

The thought here is a stoma isn't the problem with people dating. My goal is to prove it while having some fun and not regret a damn thing.

Hot topic here: concerned about dating someone with a stoma or not. Ppphtf. (Not a typo)

Remember, true story developing here.

Recently, I got a reply from a "viewer" - a female - on a dating site, no, not this one, and you know how dating sites are like fishing? You got to use the right bait (fine, appropriate attire, recent photo), cast your line out (this does not mean dick pics), hopefully you get a bite or two 🤞 (replies), and if you're lucky enough, you reel this "fish" in and you start talking sweet to her, making it a nice conversation, an interesting one.

You are delirious, excited, a happy camper... er, umm, fisherman... and the conversation in text is mounting, going on and on, back and forth. You can't reply fast enough because she is "text bombing" (think A Chatty Cathy) while you're trying to reply to her first text. She is four texts deep by now: her family, Xmas, New Year's, then specifically about computers, Zoom meetings, Facebook, Instagram, etc., all that information technology. Asking her if she's an I.T. girl, you know? (Internet-information techie) which I assumed (bad warrior, bad) just about everybody knows what I.T. means - pronounced - eye tee - and her response was, two minutes after the bombing stopped, "I'm half Italian and half French." So I'm thinking, okay... 🤔🤔 she probably thinks Alaska is an island. Throw back? Or keeper? 🤣🐠

Ok, I'm lost. What is an IT girl? Am I really overthinking this one?

I had to look it up. 😁 That would be the last thing I'd ask a woman. If she's the only one to take your bait, might as well try. 🤷‍♂️

Copy that, Alex.

She is the only one taking and talking me up, and lives in the same zip code. 🤞

 

 

Surely you jest? 🙄 I know you're not Shirley... you are Rose Bud. 🤣

Yes, sweetie... overthinking...

I.T. human resources? Computer geek language?

I will admit some abbreviations do give pause... like HBU? BRB? IMO?

But... I.T...? Even a caveman can explain it, Bella.

Then go pick her up, treat her like a princess, and start a relationship as friends and progress from there. She'll let you know when it's okay to up your game.

Actually, Google IT girl, there is another meaning. 

You've got four reply posts to this thread so far, warrior. That means a green light. Go for it... 💯

Good luck with that fish… lol

I am doomed. The fish has a BA

in psychology. I'm so busted!

Thanks fellow Osties. 🤞

Date night Wed. Gulp.😰

Ok... just asking because terms nowadays don't mean what you think they should. I'd say if the conversation is going well and you feel a connection, go for it... sometimes you never know... I didn't think 8 years ago I'd be with the same guy this long, but here we are... goes to show you, you don't know unless you're open to see how things can go.

Thanks hon. Wow, 8 yrs. Awesome.

Very happy to hear this. HNY - Happy New Year!

Yeah, and we were together only 4.5 before I became sick (really bad on my death bed and have had multiple complications ever since) and well, it goes without saying he's a keeper. And HMYs to you too!!! Good luck with your date and remember, just be yourself and if she doesn't like it, then throw her back in the sea and find yourself a true mermaid 🧜🏻‍♀️🤭

You got that right. He's a keeper. Thanks for the advice. You take care.

1) Do not call her a fish

2) Everything else you know what not to do

😁

I postponed the date. Felt a bit pressured, and if history repeats itself, my warrior senses think it's not a match made in heaven.

1- She is 8 years my junior.

2- Already pushed the sex text buttons... (see #4 below)

3- Possibly has OCD. You know the off-tilt mental health issue? (I have first-hand knowledge of this type of thing. Seeing red flags all over this...)

4- Has some alpha tendencies. (Thinking she has more testosterone than me)

5- Says her soon-to-be-divorced hubby is on the same dating site as we are. They are still on good terms and looking forward to divorce. (Whaaat? Who says that? Ever?)

6- Lives about 2 miles from me. (Potential stalker if things go sideways? Gonna have to move again. Shit.)

So for those of you unaware of what's going on these days in the online dating forums, Chief Sitting Bull agrees, saying a bird in hand beats two in the bush. But bring foreskin cover.

For those of you aware of such movies like SWF - Single White Female - or Fatal Attraction, you'd get exactly my concern - psycho!!!

Sadly, I know what I'm talking about. Been there. Done that.

Pocahontas warns me also...

... bring stoma guard and toothbrush. Take the blue pill. 🍆 🤗

Thanks for this, it is really taking my mind off my problems LOL! As someone who has been with the same guy since 16 years old (I'm now 51), I enjoy reading this. I would have no clue how to online date, so this is interesting. :)

Alright now. At least meet for a simple dinner. Make sure you go to Carl's Jr, McDonald's, Burger King first. Munch down a yummy burger... then meet her for din, din. Order first... a salad. She will feel kinda silly ordering a big meal. Will order something small too. People like to talk about themselves. Ask about her schooling, travels, movies, music, etc. Say little about yourself. Tell her you had a great time. Then don't call/text her for a week. Then contact her on a Monday. Tell her "sorry, busy." Then invite her somewhere fun (your favorite place). Have a good time. Bottom line. Does not have to be serious, just be yourself and have fun. Let the "warrior" in you shine through.

Now get out there and win one for the Gipper.

Great words of wise wisdom. Thanks. You recalling your courting days with the young ladies?

Frankly, she scares the poop outta me. Even

Mr. Stoma has retreated his ugly head like a frightened turtle. 🐢.

Best thing really is no expectations. Equates no disappointments.

Regarding dinner? Pretty sure whatever is left on my plate, she'd inhale. I'm reminded of a line in a song. "Hungry like the wolf."

Now substitute hungry for horny.

(Please send that medic alert. "911, what's your emergency?" Me: Nothing really... just... having... a ball. Had to share... "click" 😋

 

Don’t be a 🐔💩. 
1) age is nothing, unless it’s illegal. 😁

2) you’re scared of a woman that wants sex? FFS, what’s wrong with you man? 🤔

3) anyone on their own has OCD and wants things a certain way, this one is no excuse. 
4) this one may be a problem but you might be able to work it to your advantage. 🤷‍♂️

5) yeah, that’s weird. 
6) at least you can walk home if she slashes your tires or burns your clothes. 🤭

Personally I think you’re missing out on a great chance to expand your horizons and get a little spice in your life. Man up and live a little, it won’t kill ya…hopefully. 😁

Haha... viewing your own colonoscopy is less painful and more interesting than dating these days. I am a victim of both. The former is a memory now - Ken Butt. The latter is way too tedious.

Nothing like it used to be at age 25. A lot of game playing today.

I am reminded of a song by Hall & Oates, "Maneater." "Uh oh, here she comes. 🎵🎶 Only comes out at night." Gulp.

Words of wisdom, AlexT... words of wisdom.

you two guys are living in the 50'sj

somewhat gentlemen by those standards. 20th century stuff.

some valid points  .agreed..however..a wake up call is needed for the 21st century boys  and like our stomas todays dating chica will shitz on you  .

gold diggers  are still here.

cougars too  

and psychos.

Respectfully and with a chuckle..you guys are horndogs.

🍆. 

where is my woman support saying " warrior ditch this bitch?"

 

 

Gold diggers, cougars, psychos... variety is the spice of life. 😁 Is it better to live scared or be scared living? 🤔 You can never move forward if you don't take a step. 😉

yes i see your point Alex... I really do I.. its not being scared .nope. of this one gurl? yep. i. mean when I was 25 30 35 yeah definitely played the field you know??..power to the pee pee.

don't buy the cow when u get the milk free.

and variety is the spice indeed. but

I put up with that s*** ..long time ago .. and today smarter my radar is set.   . sorry I just don't have time for that or for those types of women and if I'm going to take a step forward it's not going to be in front of a NYC  bus..  but I do get where you're coming from.. acting 25 35 at 60 is not where I'm at... I just don't have the time for that BS and I think you would agree with me on that ..

I'm not saying that I don't appreciate the idea of a younger woman who would want to get naked  first date.. .. but a psycho?? no thanks been there. enjoyed it. done that .moving on.. 

I guess you just keep casting your bait around till the right fish hits. 🤷‍♂️

I think I need to move to a different pond, but I have to tell you, you have to question the caliber of the women on some of these dating sites. I mean, if this woman comes on this strong with me, can you imagine she's doing the same thing with other guys? And if that's true, what's going on there? Why isn't she with that guy? Somebody doesn't approve. Anyway, moving on...

You're a good man, Alex. 🤙

She comes on that strong because she thinks that's what guys want to hear.

🎵🎶 You may be right, but I think she's crazy. It just might be a lunatic I'm looking at. 🎵🎶

Seriously, her younger age plays a role in her experience and thinking that, sadly, because the younger guys on dating sites are horndogs!

But this old fart warrior is just charming her assets off.

Have you ever been text bombed?

It's insane.

Ok, Warrior, how much younger is she? Umm, I could help you out there if need be in figuring out how to handle this situation if there's any kind of connection. Me and Nate do have a significant age gap between us, and we're still together 🤭