Relationships and Intimacy discussions

drkknight

Bag Interference During Intimate Moments: Any Solutions?

Dec 09, 2007 - Apr 21, 2024

Hi,
First post on here so, please be gentle. I was wondering, has anyone found a way of keeping that darn bag out of the way when they are having one of their most intimate moments? I've used techniques such as holding it under a t-shirt, etc... What do you do? It just plain can get in the way sometimes...
Thanks in advance.

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162 replies | 100390 views

pammer

Dating with a bag: possible or not?

Mar 09, 2014 - Nov 26, 2023

Hi. Just wanted to ask people, is it really possible to date when you have a bag? From things I have read on this
site, the answer is no. People say it's either too hard to tell people about the bag or they run for the hills once they find out. Don't get the wrong idea. I myself cannot think of dating again. I am having a hard time dealing with my own bag. But I wonder what other people think.

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144 replies | 65366 views

vicbear13

Boosting Intimacy with an Ileostomy: Share Your Secrets!

Jan 17, 2010 - Dec 13, 2022

I would like to share tips, secrets, anything that helps intimacy be more alluring to others. Don't be shy, I need answers.

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127 replies | 90453 views

beccalea1187

How to disclose an ostomy to a new partner?

Feb 16, 2012 - Oct 24, 2022

I am a 37-year-old, single mom of 3 and I am a colorectal cancer survivor going on 3 years now. I am dating and find it very difficult and stressful to try to tell someone I want to be intimate with that I have an ostomy. How do you tell someone? I would also like to know how can I hide or keep my bag from getting in the way during intimacy. I am so worried that I will never find someone who w ...

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114 replies | 73522 views

past member

Finding Love with an Ostomy: Is it Possible?

Oct 03, 2010 - Jan 20, 2022

I've already come to the conclusion that the only possibility of becoming intimate with a lady is to make sure she has some sort of an ostomy herself. That's fine and understandable, though I wish the door wasn't halfway closed, knowing I will never be accepted by someone without one.
Yeah, I know, there are a lot of wonderful, sweet women out there who will understand. If you believe that, yo ...

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111 replies | 65258 views

DH

Ostomy and Intimacy: Debunking Misconceptions

Oct 16, 2012 - Jan 28, 2019

I have had several people ask if my ostomy affects my sex life? What they are really asking is does wearing a sh!t bag turn your husband off? I guess it's normal curiosity. But I feel like telling them it's none of their business. Of course, the answer is no.

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84 replies | 14073 views

Dlynn

Sex with a Colostomy: Seeking Advice

Mar 08, 2022 - Jun 24, 2022

I had my permanent colostomy surgery in August 2021. I have become comfortable with my pouching situation. But I really am nervous about having sex (I haven't had sex since before my surgery because of problems); I really want to have sex again but I am concerned about the pouch being in the way or a turn off to someone.
Looking for some helpful suggestions :-)

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72 replies | 6745 views

AAirman

Support for Gay Men with Ostomies

Sep 25, 2011 - Sep 27, 2020

OK,
So I know I'm different, but now I'm really different after I woke up with an ileostomy. I find I'm even more of a subunit as the others on this site. Are there any other gay men on here who would like to talk? I have so many questions and just don't know how to progress.

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71 replies | 59610 views

ycats

Struggling with Body Image and Intimacy After Ostomy

Nov 12, 2016 - Feb 10, 2018

After six weeks of satisfying him orally, I decided that I would attempt a different way of getting intimate. I taped up my bag and got naked. Well, this ended badly. I am still not attracted to my body, and not sure what the hell I was thinking. It was very depressing. He's a boob guy and I have a feeling that me not having what I used to turned him off. He won't admit that because he knows h ...

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53 replies | 12276 views

tiff041

Dating with an Ostomy: Share Your Stories

Nov 15, 2021 - Mar 30, 2022

I know this topic has been posted many times...but does anybody have any terrible dating stories about trying to date with an ostomy? I have read about the ones where people don't mind, etc., but I feel like those are few and far between. I just wanna know that I am not alone in feeling like I will never meet anyone. I had numerous hospitalizations over the years and have not dated due to my i ...

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43 replies | 6013 views

Crohnsguy84

Seeking Love: Overcoming Ostomy Bag Stigma

Oct 18, 2013 - Jun 28, 2022

I am 28 and gay with an ostomy bag. I feel like the only one, even though I know there must be others, I don't know any. I am concerned that I won't be able to find anyone who will date me because I have a bag. The possibility of ending up alone scares and depresses me. I truly want a partner and family one day and I just feel that people may discount what I have to offer simply because of my ...

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40 replies | 28785 views

w30bob

Experiences with Osto-Date?

Oct 09, 2019 - Aug 15, 2023

Hi gang,
Well, I went and checked out the "other" ostomy dating website...........can I even say their name here? I'll play it safe and not say it, but I'm sure you all know I'm talking about Osto-Date. Oh carp, I went and said it. Darn. Ok, forget; I said that.
Seems like that site is more focused on dating with minimal discussion, whereas this site is more discussion with dating more of a ba ...

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39 replies | 7808 views

Chiquis

Dealing with Negative Feedback on Dating Site Due to Medical Condition

Feb 17, 2020 - Dec 07, 2021

I found a man who appeared to really like me, and before meeting him, I told him about my ileostomy. He proceeded to chew me out and say that no one is going to want to make love to someone with a shitbag next to them. He said I should take my profile off the dating site because I was lying to people by not posting my condition. Before meeting anyone, I have always written to them ahead of tim ...

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39 replies | 8085 views

DJK1983

Looking for fellow lesbians!

Apr 23, 2012 - Dec 24, 2021

Just seeing if there is anyone like me out there!!

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38 replies | 30749 views

malcie67

When to disclose my condition while dating?

Oct 29, 2011 - Aug 08, 2013

Hi to everyone on the site (this is my first post) a newbie so to speak.
Never done this before and feeling a bit indifferent doing it, although needs must I suppose, and you guys know the issues and have been through similar, and hopefully have some good suggestions.
I have not properly dated since I was diagnosed and subsequently had my surgery. I am now three years post-op and even though t ...

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37 replies | 26048 views