Hi Danielle,
I know this is months after your original post but I'm going to post this anyway, in case it might still be helpful for you or someone else.
I agree with one of the previous posts, all of us are different. Trial and error are the way to go, but getting tips from other ostomates has helped me know what to try.
Remember that the supply manufacturers love to sample us to try to get us to buy their product. Take advantage of that and try lots of stuff.
I use the Convatec Visaflo irrigation bag. It has a little water wheel that spins when the water is flowing. I find it really helps to see the evidence of water flow instead of just feeling for it.
I like the Convatec New Image irrigator sleeve and belt. It fits snugly and as long as I'm careful I can tuck the tail of it into the band of my underwear and wear it under my robe while having a second cup of coffee.
I have found that the water temperature that I use for irrigation is really important too hot relaxes my muscles and I get slow returns. Too cold and I get nothing until it warms up. I use an instant read thermometer to get the water to around 75 degrees. (74.8-75.3) Maybe it's just my imagination, but that seems to be the sweet spot.
Drinking a glass of water before I start also seems to help.
I use a regular one-piece closed-end pouch in between my regular morning irrigation. Sometimes I put on a Nexcare Waterproof bandage (like Tagaderm but with a tan pad in the center) for swimming or intimacy.
I hope this helps. I've had my colostomy for 16 years. I resisted irrigation for several years, thinking it was just too gross and too much hassle. Once I got the hang of it I never went back. It has given me so much confidence and freedom.
Best of luck to you