Hello Bob.
I am one of those people who would take great delight in explaining things to people. However, I usually choose carefully how I do this with each 'audience'. This is because some of them are not asking in order to receive an accurare and honest answer about the subject, but are simply trying to make a conversation. Sometimes I reply by saying (jokingly) "Do you 'really' want to know about my shit?"
Mostly, I will keep it lighthearted and lead into the educational stuff if they remain interested long enough. However, a number of those who ask (how I 'feel') are susceptable to a bit of rhyming verse, so I would keep the face to face conversation to a minimum and offer for them to loan one or all of my books on the subject.
Alternatively, I will upgrade and maintain the conversation by asking questions about how 'they feel', when they have some sort of medical , social or mental condition, which ebbs and flows in terms of draining your will to live.
After a lifetime of educing people's feelings, and helping them to come to terms and manage them, This latter approach comes as second-nature to me. What I have found, is that most people love to open up about those things which bother them in life, 'if' they think they have found someone who will genuinely listen with empathy and understanding.
The question that starts the conversation, is sometimes a way of asking permission to share their own angst with someone who might understand - because they are percieved to be going through similar things themselves.
I have developed and enjoy the 'art' of sketching concepts out on scraps of paper, so sometimes I will draw a diagramme with the pretext that I would like them to know more precisely what it is we have to deal with in practical terms. This does not just apply to stomas, but to other conditions which affect how people 'feel' about themselves and their lives. Giving people something to look at, whilst having a conversation, will often help in obtaining and retaining their focus on the subject (at least in the short-term).
There are also a multitude of ways that I am able to change the subject, without seeming to be rude. I think that we, as a community, should develop a repertoire of brief 'jokes' about stomas and stoma management, that can be performed in these sorts of circumstances. so that we can keep conversations as lighthearted as possible. Maybe this could be a 'Bob' project, once the kittens have been dispersed to new homes.
Best wishes
Bill
