I wish my hands would function well

I WISH MY HANDS WOULD FUNCTION WELL.

I wish my hands would function well
but they do not, so I will tell
how this affliction affects me
in managing my ostomy.

Perhaps it’s best if I explain
that this dysfunction and the pain
is caused by my neuropathy
which acts on me peripherally.

This means that hands and feet are such
that they don’t function very much
and the pain that they emit
will sometimes make me feel like shit.

Which brings me to my stoma, where
my hands are needed for its care
and, as my hands are not too good,
they don’t work as most hands should.

Our hands are very useful tools,
which can be used by any fools,
but if they do not work, then we
are handicapped to some degree.

Upon reflection, some might say
arthritis acts in the same way
and so do strokes to some extent,
which may prove hard to circumvent.

So, it is worth acknowledging
difficulties crap hands can bring 
in everything we try to do
especially when it comes to pooh.

It may not be too bad if you
are able to do normal pooh
for then, you can just crap and wipe,
sometimes within a single swipe.

But, if you have a stoma, you 
have many more things you must do.

                                                            (continued->)

I WISH MY HANDS WOULD FUNCTION WELL.
                                                                        (continued->)

You need your hands to function well
to manage pooh and quell the smell,
otherwise, it may work out
that output is spread all about. 

You need your hands to hold the gear 
with confidence and without fear
that it might slip away from you
and leave you holding just the pooh.

The stoma bags are well and good
as long as you can know you could
cut the hole the size you want
then bags become a symbiont.

They have to fit both snug and firm 
so, if your hands are too infirm,
the chances are it will not fit
and you will end up in the shit.

There are some bags for ostomates
that with bad hands can just frustrate
because they’re fiddly to apply
which means we wouldn’t even try.

And, irrigation would be out
because what that is all about 
is holding onto a device
which, if it slipped, would not be nice. 

So we’re restricted to the stuff
that we can use, and that is tough
because there’s gear available 
to those who might be more able.

For those who have two working hands
it may be hard to understand 
the plight of those whose hands are crap
so, stomas are a handicap. 

                                                B.Withers 2024

(Acknowledgements to ‘aTraveler’ for this concept.)

Yep! I know the feeling. Spine surgery made my next hand numb; I'm left-handed. I make up lots of new words trying to change and cutting holes. Dropping the bag when it is prepared is fun too.

Could be worse, having no hands would really be fun. 🤭

 

 

Hi Bill, arthritis and trembling hands certainly make for interesting bag changes, as does eating soup and trying to be neat about it.

Good job, as always, Bill. You know there are many cruel and uncaring sites on the internet -- even though it does a tremendous good, I've often said it is a net negative for facilitating so much hate from like-minded folks who would not have met and collaborated otherwise. This site does an amazing good by providing a wonderful haven for ostomates. Bill, you choose to share your talent with us, and that is one of the positive things made possible by the internet. I am glad to have crossed paths with you.

Spastic hands here. Beautiful words. I feel you…I understand.

Stories of Living Life to the Fullest from Ostomy Advocates I Hollister

I feel for you Bill.  I have a very little arthritis in a couple of fingers, so nothing much to complain about, but I do think/worry about how I would manage my ostomy if I became incapacitated in some way.  I imagine most ostomates worry about that particular part of our necessary day to day functioning as we age.  Asking for help with some things might not be so hard, but asking for help emptying or changing your ostomy appliance would be a bridge too far for many of us.  I hope you are still able to manage on your own, but from what you have revealed on these pages, it sounds like you have a very supportive partner who would be there for you in any capacity should it become necessary.

Terry

Hello TerryLT.

Thank you for your supportive reply to this post.

I have indeed thought long and hard about what I might do if I became dependent on someone else for help with my stoma and yet I still have not decided what that may be.
My wife has said that she would be (reluctantly) willing to help with the stoma if that became necessary, but I am not so sure that I would want to be in that dependent position. 
It would be a different proposition if I began losing my ability to think, because I have always thought that this would be a sign that it was time to depart this world. My wife and family know and agree with my reasoning on this subject, but as Self-Organised Death is still illegal in the UK, I would need to manage that one entirely on my own if they are not to be prosecuted for helping me.
I Have documented my views in my book 'SOD: Self-Organised Death' (2018) expressing that I feel it is a sad reflection on society when 'they' still want to to dictate and control what we should think and do - even when it comes to our own death.
Fortunately, I have had my departure organised for many years, so nobody is likely to be able to interfere when the time comes. It's just a pity that my family will not be able to be around when that happens. (Hopefully that won't be  for a few years yet!)
Best wishes

Bill
 

Yes, Bill - It is a sad fact that one needs to have everything in place outside the UK for an active assisted dying to be undertaken so as not to have any reflection upon one's family or friends as and when - if ever - the need arises.

Self-responsibility is not undertaken by many of us - I applaud your own indication that you have put this in place, Bill - for I feel it is a very responsible action - and the only action we are able to take to ensure that we do not end up living a life past where we are comfortable to remain on the planet.

 

In Simpatico

True empathy is rare - in this respect, you have mine, Bill.

 

Hug

Jayne