Overcoming My Locker Room Anxiety

I finally changed clothes in the locker room. It's been over 2 years; and even though I was in there alone, and I did not anticipate anyone coming in, I still did it. I'm sure most of you are light years ahead of me when it comes to how you think of your bag in a situation where you may be "seen". But for me, and how I feel and cope, I'm proud of myself.

Well done! Even after two years, there's always 'TimeToGrow'.

Best wishes

Bill

Congrats on your step forward! I'm sure lots of us are not light years ahead of you, me being one. Before surgery, I was a bit of a gym rat, there at least three times a week for two hours plus. I can say for sure I was the fittest 67-year-old in that gym. I have not returned; the first couple of months or so were understandable, but after that, well, I just haven't. Covid took care of it about six months ago, but I know my gym is reopening sometime this month. I've been doing exercises at home and walking a lot to keep fit, but I do miss the gym workouts and the friends and camaraderie I'd developed. The longer I wait, the more difficult it becomes, but I do believe I will get back there. Thanks for the inspiration!

Hi Time,

Hey, good for you! I'm shirtless most of the time at home, as I live by myself. But it's a totally different story when there's a chance I could be seen. But I will say that as time goes on, I feel myself caring less and less about being seen with a shitbag on my abs... because this is me now and that's not going to change anytime soon. Reminds me of when I shaved my head a few years ago. I did it to support a female co-worker who lost her hair battling cancer and was having a tough time with it. The morning after I shaved my head, I was expecting all kinds of comments from my co-workers... and was shocked that by the end of the day, I only got one comment from my supervisor, who looked at me briefly and said, "Well... that's different." My point is, I think we make a much bigger deal out of changes to our appearance than others do. In hindsight, I don't know why I thought people wouldn't be accepting of my appearance change, as I sure don't criticize people who change their appearance... for any reason. I think when you do get comfortable with others seeing your ostomy, you'll come to realize most folks just don't really care... and will keep their thoughts and comments to themselves and just accept you for you. But by all means, take your time getting there... you'll know when the time is right.

Regards,

Bob

That was a big step - good for you!! I don't hide that I have an ostomy and am quite open about it.  Despite that, I am just not ready to make the same leap you have and it's been 3 years! We all have different comfort zones.  Good for you to step out of yours.

Living with Your Ostomy | Hollister

Hi TTG.  I don't think there are any two of us who feel and cope in exactly the same way but, being in a somewhat similar situation, congratulations.  I too am proud of you.

Sincerely,

Mike

That's a HUGE step. Way to go! 

What a great topic... Time to grow. And that's something we all do at our own pace, including how we feel about exposing ourselves and our ostomy! I'm Marsha, and I'm turning the clock back about 50+ years... to a year after I had my surgery at age 15. (I'm now 72) For the 4 years I was sick with ulcerative colitis, and wanted nothing more than to be well enough to be free of doctors, hospital stays, treatments, and surgeries. When that day finally came, I was faced with the next step, what risks was I ready to take. My mother said NO to an extended summer travel trip to Israel. Sigh. She also said NO to skiing since I had just gotten out of a back brace for osteoporosis. My friend was going to support Israeli "camp" here in the US, and I desperately wanted to go (for the summer) or a month, which was financially out of the question. But I was granted scholarships for a few long weekends, and off I went. Never thinking about where I change, or group showers. Sigh. The ignorance of youth... Or is it bravery? Still don't know. I handled showers by wearing a support panty and telling everyone I had a hernia. Bathroom first thing in the morning meant I missed services and exercises, but I had an excuse for that also. (Dopey me, never told the administration, or I'd have been officially excused). Sometimes, I'd make it back to the group in time for morning call. The most difficult was how and where I was going to change when all we had were public toilet stalls, with no sinks... I excused myself at night (during social activities), went to my bunk, collected my "stuff," and a plastic bowl for water. And there, by the light of my flashlight, and a bowl of water, I changed my appliance, to the night sounds of bees and other insects buzzing around... There I was, 16, and reclaiming my life, in my own way. I wasn't always as "brave" years later, but I was always willing to think things out and do what I really wanted to do... In this lifetime of mine, I delivered two children, knowing that I couldn't have a C-section, I flew around the country in a single-engine plane, no bathroom, I swam in the Dead Sea, and on the Great Barrier Reef, and walked the wall in China, rode an elephant in Africa, and stood at the tip of the African continent... Every new experience made me braver and more determined for the next, and in looking back, I know that I "grew" more than I ever would have without my ostomy. But I still have white-knuckle disease when I go to the dentist. Best regards to all of you. There's always time to grow... Marsha...

What an inspiring post!  Thanks for that.

Regards,

Terry

Woohoo, awesome sauce! Hopefully, I'll follow your lead and learn to be more confident.