Spills and Thrills with My Stoma and Life

Okay, it's time to tell your best spill and awesome thrill with your bag buddy. I'll start because it's my favorite topic. The day I got out of the rehab center, all I could think of was going to my favorite BBQ here in San Diego. I had been telling my folks for a week, and they tried to talk me out of it. But alas, we went. I'd only been awake with my stoma for 10 days out of the 40 days since my operation, so it was still learning how to work. I had a big juicy beef rib. Tasted so good, and I was in heaven. They took me home for the first time since this all started. I was tired but happy to be back in my RV. I went to sleep and was dreaming about my nice doctor who had told me how to vent gas from the bag. Soooo I dreamt I was outside and venting, and suddenly woke up and thought I left the vents open on the roof and it was raining. After fumbling for the light switch, I realized I was laying down and I was covered with s t my doc said there would be days like this. She was right.
A few months later, my oldest daughter was in town for a few days and asked if she could sleep on my couch for the night. I said sure, but I get up in the night to dump, so you've been warned. Sometime in the night, she used the restroom and closed the door to my room, something I've never closed being single. I got up and walked right into the door and thought that's weird, why is the floor so slippery. Hmmmm, turned on the light and what do ya know, well at least my bag is empty now.
I keep a paper taped on the wall and write down when I have a cht spill. The list is still short, only 4 major spills and a couple of minors. But NO day-to-day leaks. I think being fat makes the wafer stick better, sounds good.
My thrills are the best, first and foremost is I'm alive, I walk and talk, and I have fun. I've seen the birth of two grandsons. I ride my dream bike. And here on this website, I have a host of friends who will tell me what life is all about. It's my mission to give back what I've learned. To be there for a friend. Sure, it's a thrill to ride around with no shirt on and get lots of stares, but that's just showing off. Thanks for your time.
bikerboy greg

Hi Greg, I think you're cool. I remember my biker days, as most of us have them. I love reading your stories; they are so good and make me laugh, and that really helps me right now as my psychiatrist says I am not handling this well. I said, "Darn it, I only have three and a half months for my reversal," and he said it is in October, and I said, "I know, but I am going to beg my surgeon to do it on the first of October." If I needed the bag, I would handle this better, but I have it and have to handle it. Plus, my stoma looks like a strawberry and is more than 2 cm in length, so I can't use the new 8-hour thing to swim. I can't figure out which bags work the best for the water park with giant slides and the roller coasters. I am so afraid of a hernia, and man, I was never afraid of anything. I keep telling myself I won't come back here once I get my reversal because all my tests came back great and were signed by the specialist to go on with her reversal. Unless you count some small hemorrhoids from having children when I was younger, I had two of my own and got those then; otherwise, the doctor only cut off three inches of my colon, the doctor said after the pictures and the test. He said I am an easy reconnect, but my surgeon still won't do it until October, and since he is the best, I will wait it out. But I met the kindest and neatest people on this site, and for the first time in my life, politics didn't seem to matter when it came to suffering. I hate to see anyone in pain, and probably why I became a nurse, but never was I an ostomy nurse. This was hard for me too. It isn't so bad now because good people like this one guy told me about the NU Hope Hernia Belts, and I got a couple and wear them with my ostomy belt and stealth belt, and he even taught me to cuff down my pants so they would fit. I am not real tall, so that was one good tip. Plus, I have met several people who have touched my heart and life; after my daughter's death, I didn't even know I could feel for anyone this much pain again. But I do, I even think you are totally one cool dude, so unlike me these days, but you are so funny and kind and a great guy; you have to like you. Out of all the men I have met, you are the coolest and the nicest. Thanks for your kindness. I won't ever forget it. Love ya always, Jenny. P.S. If I stay on this site, it will be because of you, Biker boy.

Once upon a time, I was walking down a sidewalk in a very classy shopping district. Since I only had a few more blocks to go before arriving at the spot where my friend Lori was parked, I decided to forego the Starbucks washroom and wait until I was home. As I took another step up the steep slope of the sidewalk, my jeans pressed the full bag against my thigh and the Velcro closure said, "I'm not waiting!"

I now had to make one of the "most important" decisions of my life as the shoppers rushed by — try to stem the flow down my leg into my shoe by opening my zipper and reaching in to hold the bottom of the opened bag, or forget the zipper and loosen my belt so I can get my hand inside my jeans.

The zipper won, and as I approached Lori's car, she was wondering why I was walking with my right hand in such a strange position, and I was wondering if she still had a stash of Safeway shopping bags for the times when she took her dogs for walks.

The 20-minute drive home began with one very strange-looking hand wrapped in a Safeway bag and a sincere hope that another driver would not do something stupid that would require me to help Lori exchange licensing and insurance information with that driver — my writing hand was bagged.

Since that day, I have always clamped the bottom of the Velcro bag with one of those black metal paper clamps.

Peter, that was very funny, but do you have to keep the bag below the belt? I guess my stoma is higher; it's an inch above and to the right of my old belly button, which I think is a blessing for me. If it wasn't, I wouldn't have any stories to talk about. LOL.
I hope more people share some stories. For us, it's funny, but if you didn't have an ostomy, you wouldn't see the humor. That's one of the reasons I feel special about my stoma.
Keep them coming, Peter.
Greg

Hi guys,

I have found early on never to go out, or even stay at home for that matter, without a rubber band around the clip at the end of the appliance. I always keep a couple in my pocket just in case I lose it. It is really the best solution to the unexpected opening of the bottom of the bag. A few years ago, while managing my daughter's softball team, I was giving them infield practice. I took a swing and with it, the bag ending popped and all the waste just flushed out and down my leg. I was quickly able to push the dirt from around home plate over the mess, but the gazes from the parents who were sitting in the stands as my pants leg became saturated and turned color was another thing. I quickly feigned a leg injury, grabbed my leg, and limped off to the men's room with a bright red face.

Stories of Living Life to the Fullest from Ostomy Advocates I Hollister

Well, to be honest, don't change while still sleepy. One day, I had to change after a blowout during the night, so I got up and was doing the normal cleanup. Then, while I was sitting in my chair changing, my body thought, "Hey, you need a nap," so out I went. I later woke up to find that I forgot to lock the bag so it would be sealed. I usually have them all done and closed so I don't forget. Mine are all Velcro, so that was a lesson well learned: don't fall asleep when changing.

As I read through the post, I hope Bikerboy and JG can get together someday. Belts were mentioned. I am a full-time suspender [Braces if you are from England] wearer now. I have about 20 pairs and they don't put pressure on the belly region. Kinda known for them now. I have never had a big blowout in public, but it must be devastating for a while.

Swiffer, I don't believe in real divorce, and my husband is the love of my life. If I ever lost him, I would go home to Illinois and live on our farm for the rest of my days. He is the better half of me, and he would tell you the same about me. I can have friends, and so can he, but we are both very smart and have children we love, and we want them to have their parents together as long as we live. I could never remarry; I was too darn Catholic growing up to marry someone else. Plus, my children wouldn't understand, and I could never hurt them or anyone for any reason. I have forgiven my husband; it just took me a day or two, but this was our biggest fight in almost 34 years of one hell of a great marriage. Friends are also for life, but no one like your best one, and he is mine. Sorry to disappoint you, but some of us women like and even love our husbands. I am just a talker and love a lot of fun. God bless, Jenny

Jb, glad you got that out, but I just inferred that you liked the guy like you said, not that you wanted to marry him.
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If that was the case, we all would have to marry bikerboy, and that is not legal in my case in my state.
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{I am not gay anyway} No harm, no foul, and I am not disappointed; in fact, I am glad that you have a great marriage. It takes a great spouse to put up with seeing the things that we go through.

Swiffer, hell yeah, we all love bikerboy as he is one cool guy who isn't afraid to say anything about this illness that has helped him and so many, and put a gun in my hand for the first time in my life. When this is way too much for me, I read something funny that bikerboy has said, and I think he is living his life unashamed, and I am being selfish as I only have until October and one easy reconnect, plus surgery isn't hard on me. I do it all the time, I have one great plastic surgeon, and I always wake up. The reconnect is going to be easy compared to the scar I have to get fixed. So far, they told me it would take six months after the reconnect before I could have plastic surgery again. One more tummy tuck, and I know I need some fat, and I have been eating everything because I am also going to lose weight from the reconnect. I need a psychiatrist that understands this stuff because I love being skinny, but I also know I have to have some weight for another tummy tuck. I got five and a half liters sucked out before my daughter died, so that would be 2 and a half pounds a liter. I don't know, I am not worried; it will all work itself out. The hard thing is, once they do lipo, you never get fat in that same area, and I need some stretch here. I just get my tummy all fixed, and some psycho slices a knife up it. Not something I am handling; you might think I am stuck up or something, but I am not. I just told myself I would grow old gracefully, and I am trying to do it. I have a living will now, so no one can sign papers for me they don't read again, and I put in that I wanted three specialists before any decision. But it isn't just me, bikerboy cracks most of us up and makes us think how important our life is and why we want to wake up and make ourselves breathe when we think we can't. He has a touch of Angel Dust and is one rare guy, and I am also lucky to know him. I didn't think I wanted to fight anymore, and I told my older son in DC on the phone one day, and he said, "Mom, you're talking crazy, and things will be fine," but I wasn't coming out of my depression, so I got on here, and bikerboy had his usual laugh he gives us, and the thing about his stories is they are not just sad or funny; they have true meaning in most of them. So God made one special bikerboy out there who can reach across a lot of miles and help someone think how important this life really is. God bless, love ya, in Christ's name, and hell yeah, I am a Christian, Jenny.

I've had only 2 major leaks/explosions in my 5.5 months with 'my little guy'.



Luckily both have been at home ... in bed even. First time it was a zeppo that happened in between my 2 scheduled night alarm wake up calls. The force from the gas actually caused one side of the wafer and glue to come away from my body. What a surprise and mess!



The second was just last night. Woke up (without the benefit of my alarms) and reached down ... mess. No zeppo or too-full bag, just the one side of the wafer and glue 'unglueing'. I had just replaced my flange/bag that morning and I'm thinking that some of my skin barrier powder got over to that side and wasn't covered with the liquid adhesive after.



I am not looking forward to any "thrill of the spill" when I'm out ... and over the years, I'm sure it will happen

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This is an old post from last year, but I had posted it in the Dating Section, and now is as good a time as any to repost. As you can probably guess, at the time it wasn't so funny, but now I can laugh at it.

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One day last fall, our daughter decided she would make us a crock of homemade beans. Damn, but they were good, so good I had two (or three) helpings. You all know what's coming. Three o'clock in the morning, up to go to the bathroom, but the pouch was three feet ahead of me, lying on the floor, just like jet propulsion. So here I am at 3 a.m., changing pouches and cleaning up the mess. My wife and daughter still heckle me when the subject of beans comes up. I now stick to one serving.

I have just one thing to say to help avoid those blowouts:   "Beano" !     

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Ok, Pinky ... I went and bought some Beano caps. It says to take 2 to 3 caps per meal! Is that what you're doing? Just wondering. I want to have it be effective if I'm going to give it a try ... but since I eat 5 or so small meals a day ... I'll be popping caps all day long

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Beatrice, please don't pop that many Beano's; you can take Gas X in generic OTC, which means over the counter. It is safe and, if you go by the instructions, it will work great and you won't need so many, and it will neutralize the gas. Please never pop that many of any pills; they all have different fillers in them and I haven't studied Beano. The problem with so many overdoses on BS pills, they call it multiple drug toxicity because most people don't know how many pills they are taking. I promise two Gas X, even in generic, will work just as well and you don't need many of them to help you. I love Pinky and she is smart; she probably didn't see you were eating so often. Not all of us do; tonight I am having sweet corn on the cob with spray I cannot believe it's not butter because it's safe and no fat. I don't use margarine, never did. Anyway, you take care and watch how many aspirin you take as even those could cause someone to bleed to death; the least amount of medicine is always best if it works. I care about you, Beatrice, and only want the best for you, so take care and ask your pharmacist if you want. Talk later. Love always, Jenny. Plus, tell Pinky she is right about Beano; it does work, you just don't need that many of them. Love you too, Pinky, and may God bless you both.

Hi my little Guardian Angel! Thanks for the good advice. It just didn't feel right to me to be taking that many (of anything, like you said). So I just took 2 before dinner and it did nothing. Woke up to a balloon

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I must remind myself that we all have different levels (and types) of ostomies ... so what works for one may not work for the other. Me, the large colon and some small colon is gone.



I'll try Gas-X   --  saw it at the pharmacy when I bought the Beano.



Thanks one again for the caring, Jenny.

Beatrice, no problem, just remember never to take too many pills. I love Gas-X as I have acid reflux and maybe no colon problems, but I get bad indigestion. I love garlic and it kills me, plus I put the hottest peppers on my food. I love spice, so I know about what works. You take care, dear. I am here when you need me. Love, Jenny