Balancing Health Challenges and New Friendships

Hi everyone, well, I'm escaping the 'wedding' and thought I'd log on, and realized how absolutely ages it's been since I 'blogged'! Too much studying, but I'm due for my second year of my degree exams soon, plus this year I've been doing GCSE maths too...not easy...though I got a 'B' in my first module, a very high 'B' in my second (almost an 'A'), and my last one is in June...fingers crossed. As for the health, I've been in hospital yet again for another blockage. I would normally just sit it out, but instead of my normal severe pain/sickness and watery tummy, I had the first two symptoms with no output for a week. It was thought I had another stricture, but luckily it was 'just another blockage'. I had a CT scan which showed nothing amiss. I had my osteoarthritis filed off my shoulder last November, and finally, it's much better, though I still cannot lie on it in bed, or carry my bag on that side, and now I have arthritis in my right hip pretty bad. I still have pains in the right side of my tummy, and it's been discovered what I thought was a continuous cold since September, is in fact a 'sliding hiatus hernia' which causes the acid reflux, extra sickness, and cold-like symptoms: sore dry throat, bunged-up nose, ears and sinuses, constant dry cough, and loss of smell for most of the time, but the pills don't work, and anything else for my joints affects my epilepsy. I finally plucked up the courage to tell my boss I had epilepsy, as on December 4th, while out for a meal, I had yet another grand mal, so I thought I'd be negligent if I said nothing. As it turns out she was very sweet about it, and just showed concern that I had yet another thing to cope with. My gastro chap won't change my medication, to help my tummy or joints from the Crohn's, as apparently it's not 'active', even though I have the symptoms of it, so it's been an emotionally traumatic time. I've been also suffering with anorexia since last year again, it's a life-long problem when I'm emotionally stressed out, and I've lost 3 stones. My other half used to tell me I was fat at just over 9 stones, and take the pee, but now I get picked on because of my skeletal appearance...can't win eh! My GP and gastro chap know, and I had a mental health assessment at Christmas time, where they diagnosed me as stress-induced anorexia, because of my coping with living with someone who is destroying my self-esteem, not that I could tell him that! Now to my strange/good news, depending on how you look at it... I go to a nightclub around once a month, purely to socialize, I've made some friends there in the five years I've been going. There has been a chap who goes with his mates, all very quiet, decent guys, around my age, and one in particular is extremely shy, I've never seen him talking to anyone, let alone a woman outside his group, and I don't know how, but about 4 months ago we started talking, and I jokingly asked had he ever danced in all the years he's been going, he said he used to, but got fed up with being stomped on. I then went on the dance floor and shortly after he joined me, since then we dance every time together, we've become close, but up until this week he didn't know about my colostomy, even though he knew I'd been ill, was on chemo, had lost my hair, wore a wig until recently etc, but I was scared of telling him the truth. I thought I'd be honest and tell him, via letter, expecting rejection, but to my genuine surprise he is fine about it! Where this friendship will lead, if anywhere, is anyone's guess, and what it means to my relationship at home where I've been totally physically ignored for over 3 years, I don't know. It's really scary, but I've been unhappy for a long time, time will tell I guess.

Wow! You have a lot of challenges to overcome. It sounds like it is time for a turnaround for you. Try to stay positive; stress is the worst (as you know). Find some joy. It is easier to say than to do, but so worth it when you do.