Embracing Life After Ileostomy - A Message of Hope

Replies
10
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1165
Jayd
Apr 08, 2023 9:26 pm

Well, it's been 10 years since I had my stoma surgery, and it's been quite a journey. When I first learned that I needed a stoma, I was devastated. I held onto the hope of a reversal, but unfortunately, it wasn't possible. That was over six years ago, and while it's been an emotional rollercoaster, I've learned to accept it to the point where I don't even think about it.

If you've recently been given the news that you need a stoma or have just had the surgery, I want to reassure you that things will get better. I know it can feel like the world has ended, and your life has been turned upside down, but there is hope.

Another thing that helped me was finding ways to manage my emotions, such as meditation and gratitude. Each day, I take 10 minutes to meditate, which helps me clear my mind and find a sense of peace. I also make a point of writing down the small things that I'm grateful for each morning, whether it's a good night's sleep or a kind gesture from a friend.

Finally, I want to say that while having a stoma can be difficult, it doesn't have to define you. You are still the same person you were before, with all the same hopes and dreams. Don't be afraid to seek out support and resources, and remember that with time and patience, things will get better.

I hope that my experience can offer some comfort and encouragement to those who are just starting their stoma journey. Remember, you are not alone, and there is always hope.

w30bob
Apr 09, 2023 5:27 am

Well said Jayd! Congrats on the 10! It is amazing how we adapt and overcome!

;O)

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CrappyColon
Apr 09, 2023 1:05 pm

Thanks for sharing some of what you've learned over the past 10 years. I was talking to a woman Friday night who is older and wiser than me... She was asking me how I'd been... Unless you're family, a close friend, or at an event one of my kids is in, the chances of running into me in person and having a conversation since last June are slim. I was honest and told her I was struggling to find hope again. It's not even a year since I lost my colon and I tend to have the patience of... pick something without patience. I stumbled across this song the other day and there was a line "sometimes sorrow is the door to peace" and everything that has happened over this past year + it made start thinking this is obviously the path I was forced to walk... So what do I do with that? I think I'm wandering in the land of acceptance afraid to fully accept it because then I need to let go of the anger too. I know I confuse acceptance with giving up. The woman I mentioned above told me when she was struggling to find hope back when she was a nurse in Thailand, she asked to see a miracle.. She saw her miracle. I'm not sure what it will take for me to start knowing hope again. But I know it's there. Thanks again for sharing your story!

Jodie

Jayd
Apr 10, 2023 8:28 am
Reply to CrappyColon

Thank you for your response, Crappycolondiaries. It reassures me that writing the post was worthwhile. I honestly believe that if I can come to terms with my stoma, anyone can. Even before its arrival, I had struggled with low self-esteem, so you can imagine how it affected me. Nonetheless, I now see it as a way to view life differently. I believe everything happens for a reason, and I no longer feel sorry for myself. Instead, I found that accepting it helped me move forward. Do people really care if I have a stoma? You are no less of a person, and who knows what opportunities it may bring?

Jayd
Apr 10, 2023 8:30 am
Reply to w30bob

Thanks w3obob.

It is truly amazing. You just don't see it at the time..

 

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CrappyColon
Apr 10, 2023 12:13 pm
Reply to Jayd

So something I'm wondering about... maybe I should make it, its own post.. but tell me your thoughts, do you think men or women have a harder time coming to the realities of having a stoma and its effect on body image? (I promise I'm not looking for a right or wrong answer/battle of the sexes, truly just curious)

Jodie

Jayd
Apr 10, 2023 8:26 pm
Reply to CrappyColon

I do think that women are more likely to be hit harder as far as body image is concerned. However, I honestly believe that both genders can get themselves into a position where they can accept their body image. It's all about finding what's important to you in life. At the end of the day, you are still the same person, beautiful and loved as much by your friends and family as you were before.

CrappyColon
Apr 10, 2023 8:50 pm
Reply to Jayd

Great response. Thanks!

Sunshine Girl
Apr 11, 2023 12:19 pm
Reply to w30bob

Yes! Well said and thank you!!! It is wonderful to have a 10-year perspective. I thought the rest of my life was the way I felt a week out of surgery... such a hope-filled thing to know it just keeps getting better if we lean into it and practice a mind/body connection. Thank you for taking the time and energy to share with all of us. Your authentic journey is priceless! Much love to you, my friend. :)

Doreen 21
Apr 11, 2023 3:19 pm

Hi Jayd.

Good to read your post. I am now 10 months post ileostomy and I can only say this has been the worst journey of my life! It just seems to be one new symptom after another. I have told no one outside my immediate family. Even my friends don't know. GP surgeries don't provide stoma nurses so I am reliant on hospital stoma nurses, who have varying degrees of knowledge and mixed levels of interest.

I look forward to the day I have your perspective and optimism but currently it all seems very bleak. Thanks for posting though.

warrior
Dec 21, 2023 12:24 pm
Reply to Doreen 21

I'll drink to that. 🥂 Bleak says it all.

When you got other issues to deal with.