While in the shower, use antibacterial dish soap around the stoma. It will burn a little but a lot less than alcohol or iodine to kill infection. Once done, then use a tiny bit of conditioner around the stoma and massage in, then wash the area around again with soap. Do not use conditioner again.
After each stoma output, wash again with antibacterial dish soap and rinse, until it stops spewing.
Dry the area thoroughly using a blow dryer and soft toilet paper, always using a dry spot. The skin should feel chapped and rough to the touch, not slippery or wet. If output is on the stoma, that's okay, wipe up, but if it touches the skin, head back to the shower for another wash with soap. Repeat above until very dry.
Use a little stoma powder just around the stoma and on damaged skin. Dry brush off well until it appears to disappear with dry toilet paper. It will leave an invisible residue.
Use Flonase or generic nose spray, or skin protectant, spray into the cap and pour around the stoma and spread out to cover adhesive areas. Dry well with a blow dryer and repeat. (Using the Flonase kills the sting of burns.)
Next, cut your wafer hole to be just a hair larger than your stoma in size. If it's oval, then cut it oval. Squeeze out a generous tube of no-sting paste around the stoma and spread down so it adheres to the skin. If not, remove and repeat the above steps. Why very dry skin is important: The paste needs to be 1/2 inch wide just like a ring and right next to the stoma.
Next, cover the same flat area on the wafer after you peel off the backing first. Now line up the bottom of the wafer hole with the bottom of the stoma and press down; you don't want the paste extending much past the edge of the wafer hole as seen through the bag. Press down gently to get a good skin bond around the stoma.
Put extra barrier strips all around and an ostomy belt if needed.
If you're drinking coffee, switch to tea instead. It makes the output very acidic and leak burns worse.