Finding Love with an Ileostomy - Be Brave and Proud!

Hi,

I got my temporary ileostomy 6 months ago. I had just separated (my decision) and thought I might not have any relationship as long as I have my stoma (which I still will have at least for 6 months).

Well, so far I've told about my ileostomy for 2 dates. The first date I told some months ago moved abroad, so we put our relationship on hold, but I can assure you, my stoma was never a problem. I'm still in contact with him every now and then, but only as friends.

Now 2 weeks ago I met someone again. Since he lives nearby, I saw him in the first days every day, we went for walks, for a coffee... You know, the good old-fashioned way of dating. Anyway, I started to feel I'd like to "get a little closer" to him (since he did not try anything, cause I in the beginning told him I'm "slow in starting new relationships"). So, I told him about my stoma. He had never heard anything about any stoma, but he listened carefully, asked some questions, and even asked me to show it. And then he told me, it doesn't bother him at all.... "Everybody gets sick eventually, one way or another..."

Just wanted to share my experiences. I know it can be frightening, but if you get to know the person first, and they get to know you, I think one silly stoma does not determine your relationship. Be proud, respect yourself. We have experienced a lot and learned a lot from life due to our illness. It makes us stronger and shows what really matters.

Lumme
(In case of some silly mistakes, I'm not a native English speaker)

Good for you...!!!....Positive people produce positive results....

That's so awesome! Only takes meeting one person that is a good enough person to see beyond your ostomy and like you for who you are - to erase the fears of rejection. Now if someone ever did be frightened away but it in the future - it won't be a big deal, you'll be able to say "Well, he just wasn't good enough for me!" and move on.

You go girl....live a normal life! Have had my stoma for over 30 years....we live in a wonderful world, as people can now accept anything. Think of the injured war heroes....they incur problems greater than a little red bud and are accepted. If there is a creep out there that can't accept you for you....then he did you a favor as he isn't worth your time!!! Just enjoy life to the fullest!

Good for you! Does he have a brother?

Getting Support in the Ostomy Community with LeeAnne Hayden | Hollister

Forget that! Does she have an older sister? LOL

You go! I wish I had such nerve. I've had my stoma for 3 years now. I am a newly out of the closet lesbian, haven't been with a woman in 25 years, not a man in 3-1/2 years. I would love an intimate relationship with a woman but not a commitment like living together or marriage. Not sure where to even begin! Proud of you, lady, wish you the very best! I love what "buckeroo" said, "We live in a wonderful world, as people can now accept anything." Thank you for sharing!

Good for you, positive approach is the way forward, happy days! Keep smiling.

Hi
I've been dating for a year now, told him about my stoma after a couple of weeks, and it didn't bother him at all. Best relationship I've ever had.

That's awesome, Shellee - any good man or woman will love you for what's on the inside - and our stomas are a part of us and it keeps us alive!    And that's what every lady who I have dated since my surgery has told me.