Struggling with Depression and Pain Post-Ileostomy at 80

I had my ileostomy last Febuary and I have had a great deal of down days since.my dr. has me on Effexor but I see no difference in my emotions. She recommended talking to a therapist but I see no difference from that either.I have a big problem with lack of energy and strength and problems with sleeping.Iam very careful with my eating and never eat in the evening so that does,t interferewith my sleep but I never sleep all night so iam up and emptying anyway.Did have a problem with the bag coming loose but it never comes loose now since I use a bag that has elastic belt that hooks on and holds the "hole" close to the body and iam soooo happy to not have the worry of the bag coming loose anymore.I do have a lot of pain,especially in the morning,in my stomach area. I don't know how to handle the pain and the depression and wonder if anyone else has any ideas about these problems? Iam going to be 80 this year so it is a major difference in my life after all these years.I raised 7 children and have always been known as a "strong" person but this has flattened me out!

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dear, dear sweedo after having major surgery and illness its not surprising you have some depression and not sleeping will add to your problems. To be honest you are still fairly new to this situation and you and your body are still adapting to this major assault to your body. I Had my colostomy in November 2010 and am still finding things out and this site is great, all the folks are so helpful. You have to cope with your physical changes and learn how to eat differently, then you have to deal with getting out and about and feel comfortable when you are.

I have had pain in my stomach area in the past but things can take time to heal, and you do have to give yourself time, but if you are getting pain you need to get back to the doctors. I don't know how it is in US but here in the UK we can get a lot of help with specialist stoma nurses (only need to phone mine and she soon comes to see me).

I see you have a large family and I bet lots of grand children so get involved with them and hopefully they can help lift your spirits. And remember don't be

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be

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instead. I know it can be hard when you get very down but I wish you all the best.

Lots of Love Trudel

Hello swedeo.  I was saddened to hear of you present situation, especially as you have tried some things without success. Lack of sleep and depression often go hand-in-glove so if you can get the sleep sorted some of the depression might ease.  It is not unusual to suffer with depression after an illness, a trauma, a birth etc. It must rate as one of the most common forms of emotional disturbance.  I have written many , many verses surrounding this subject over quite a number of years and I can safely say that you are not alone with this condition. I have never thought that these verses were suitable for publication on this site as they have more of a mental-health slant than a physical/ostomy focus and I would not wish to be encouraging people to read stuff that might make them feel worse.  However, I did write one earlier this year for someone else who posted on here about a simlar problem. In his case I posted it on his forum rather than on my own blog. in this way it felt more like a personal communication rather than for a wider audience. I'll post it below for you but unfortunately it doesn't usually come out in the proper poem format when posted on the forum so it might be harder to read as rhyming verse. I hope you appreciate the sentiments and get back to some emotional equilibrium as soon as possible.  Best wishes  Bill.---------------------------------



DEPRESSED.



I’ve got the right to be depressed

if I do not feel at my best.

Just as I might have felt quite happy

when my life was not so crappy.



You bet I’m sad when things go bad

and ponder yonder life I had.

I can’t help but count the cost

of the life that I’ve now  lost.



When thinking of the nitty-gritty

I’m exhausted with self-pity.

I feel that’s justifiable

whilst things aren’t rectifiable.



My mind stays open and plays host

to most unkind and callous ghosts.

When they do their heartless haunting

then I feel ‘all’ life is daunting.



Most of the ghosts contrast my past

which makes me even more downcast.

As I reminisce for hours

depression comes and overpowers.



Harking back to yesterday

doesn’t make it go away.

In fact it acts in the reverse

making depression that much worse.



I know things in my life go wrong

but I must keep on being strong.

So now I think I really ought

to rid myself of bad, sad thought.



I’ve got the right to be depressed

if I do not feel at my best

but maybe if I fake the happy

my life may not feel quite so crappy.



                                                B. Withers 2013

God Bless You Sweede0,



You're story sounds a bit like mine. I had my surgery in Dec 2011, but was in the hospital till Feb 2012, a lot of complications.  I have crohns disease, just over 10 years now.  The thing is they do these surgeries, take your colon and tell you it's going to save your life, but what they  don't tell you is that they are just swapping one physical disease for a mental one.  It took a week for the Dr's and staff to "convince" me that I HAD to have this surgery or I would die, I thought I had more time, like 6 months at least to go home and get used to the idea, but I didn't know they weren't letting me out of the hospital with out my colon

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.  So I finally agreed, not knowing anything about it. I assumed this surgery would make me all better, no more pain, I'd have a better life finally.  But here I am, almost 2 years post-op, and my pain Dr. just up'ed my pain meds, put me  on valium and Effexor and is monitoring me every 2 weeks. I have a lot of PTSD, anxiety, depression, the pain never went away, and I've been more sick since my surgery than I ever was before. I was never able to have children tho, I have other diseases that made that impossible, but I had a wonderful career that I worked very hard at. I put myself thru college, and worked in my field for 17 years before all this got really bad. Now I'm living back at home with my mom, and haven't been able to get out of bed for nearly 2 years (except for Dr. apt's and church, which is just behind the house, so I don't have to walk far).



I don't know what to tell you to do, and I can't say from my perspective that things will get better, but just know that I can empathize with you and if you need someone to talk to, I can e-mail you here.  



I wish you all the best, and I hope things start to look up for you. I do know that living with the bag does get easier as time goes on, and the accidents get less and less with time.



God Bless,

Calico