Intimate Sex with Ostomy - How is it Possible?

Yo gang!

Ok, I've had enough. Since joining this site this past summer (or maybe it was the spring), I've read with my own two eyes at least 3 or 4 ostomates claim they've had intimate sexual relations (with a fellow human being) and their partner was totally unaware of their ostomy. SAY WHAT??? So I need to know what the hell you're talking about. Unless you're talking about a hummer in the car in a bar parking lot on a Friday night.......or you consider phone sex to be intimate.....I have no idea how you guys can make such a claim. What exactly are you calling "intimacy" and is the other person alive and awake? Are they hog-tied to the bed and blindfolded? Are we talking about making love to a blind double amputee? No? Then what gives........fess up!

This has been bugging me for a while and then someone brought it up again this week in the current popular thread. So please explain in excruciating detail, like you're talking to a 10-year-old, how it's possible to have intimate sexual relations (hugging, caressing, rubbing, tickling, licking, etc) with someone and have them NOT know you have an ostomy? By all means, feel free to PM me if you're shy or would rather everyone else not know your secret......and I promise not to tell, cross my heart/hope to die, etc. Wild monkey sex on the bearskin rug in front of the fireplace just hasn't been the same with my trusty poop bag by my side.........so let us all in on this one. (Or just me.)

Thanks,

Bob

Wild monkey sex on the bearskin rug? Bob, you're killing me!! I can tell that you're sitting on the edge of your seat waiting for an answer, so here goes: a tickle trunk full of sexy lingerie! Bustiers, corsets, crotchless, leather, silk, satin - whatever! Naked isn't quite as enticing as it used to be - in fact, maybe best left to the imagination. You get it now? Bob? You there, Bob? Good grief, he's fainted!

No idea how it's possible, definitely wouldn't happen with me. I want to undress and caress every inch of a woman's body and more! Someone I used to know very well, we used to text daily for years and met as friends as lived near me, told me when she met her then husband before they got married she didn't eat before they got down to it! So the bag wouldn't fill up (I could never understand how that worked with an ileostomy as you still get wind that would fill the bag and be noisy). She said she used to wear basques and push his hands away when they got near the ostomy (he wasn't doing something right if you ask me, if her mind was on the bag and not enjoying the pleasures she should have been receiving, lol)....then after they were married she told him he wasn't a happy man!

Not sure anymore what was or wasn't true about everything they told me.

I would think something very odd was going on if every time I was caressing that body and she was a HOTTIE my hands were pushed away.

Hi Pad,

Oh, silly me.....now I see...........I just have to wear a sexy girdle and bra when I have sex with a hottie and she'll never know I have a stoma and a large condom holder attached to my waist. Now why the heck didn't I think of that??? Actually, that might work because she'd be so busy laughing hysterically after seeing me in that getup that she'd probably pee herself silly, then get embarrassed because of it and leave! Heck, I'll even throw on my combat boots as well just to throw her off the scent. Yes, pun intended.

So I think I'm still with Panther on this one........I can buy what you're saying Pad, for maybe a one-time thing, but I must be doing the "intimate" thing differently than you. When I'm done there's not an inch of my partner's body that I haven't caressed, massaged, licked or bitten.......so there's no way you'd hide something like a bag of shit from me........and sexy clothes are MADE to be removed (in my book). You still haven't convinced me.....but I appreciate the effort. Maybe if you posted a video?

;0)

Thanks,

Bob

Bob... I think you need to speak to Honest Abe about this subject. He must be doing something right, dude. He always uses exclamation points when he answers. To me, that's keeping Mr. Happy... happy...

Living with Your Ostomy | Hollister

Sorry - videos are for private collection only!

I've been around a very long time and tend to forget things.  Please define INTIMATE.  Oh, and if you can, please help me with the  "wild monkey sex".  Are the monkeys wild?  And what's sex?

Mike

Honk honk. That sounds like an invitation. Hee hee

Hey Bob! You showed us your new hat; now show us your bra and girdle!

Please don't tempt him! Goodness, we saw his duck, his hat, his glasses, his Burger King crown.. Please. Don't tempt him.

Ttttkkkk ttttk ttttkk

We interrupt this post to bring you this live announcement here in the heartland of Maryland where an unknown man

,looking like Spiderman and cross-dressed in Victoria's Secret's red lace bra and panties with "Sky High" heels just entered a local Burger King and asked for a Whopper to go.. Film at eleven..

Uh oh. Too late.

Hahahahahahahahaha is all I can say! Laughing my ass off! Too funny guys!
Pup

Hi guys,

I'll reply to all your posts shortly......I'm busy digging through the clothes my ex-girlfriend left in my closet to appease Costello. Found a bra (hmmmmm....seems to be a bit bigger than I remember).........now I just need to find those damn panties...........

Bud Abbott

There are lovely looking covers you can use or get some made to fit. When questioned, I have said I have had an operation on my stomach and it's scarred and bandaged. Remember, everything is fair in love and war. It should be tightly taped and empty. I have gotten away with it in different cities but keeping my fingers crossed. Simple. No girdles, bra, or lingerie required. Good luck.

Hmm, I think to "get away" with an operation on my stomach idea... Hmm, you could also say you have a hernia and the wrap, which looks like a back support, could be explained as helping. But then, what do you do when the damn thing starts "talking"? Ha ha. You know, burping, gurgling, farting... What would you say about that? Cause that will happen, I believe. I think I would just leave a loose t-shirt on and get the job done in the dark. I don't see how anyone can really hide this thing and get away with it. Although Bob... I think could. He's part magician. And you know what magicians do? Keep you focused on one thing while doing another. And he's got a ton of tricks up his sleeve. He's da man.

Oh Panther - you sexy beast you!!!

Warrior - LMAO!!!

Here it is. Can you see it now!

Warrior,

I may have a few tricks up my sleeve, but even Houdini couldn't pull this off. Folks with a colostomy, where they can irrigate and then go for periods of time without having to wear a bag 24/7, might be able to hide their stoma for a short time, but not indefinitely, and the rest of us just ain't hiding our shitbag from our sexual partners. Just wanted to make sure I wasn't missing something. Still looking for those panties... may have to pick up a pair next time I go to Walmart if I still can't find them. Would a bikini bottom satisfy your curiosity?

Hasta mañana,

Bob

Oh... man.. seeing you in panties or a bikini bottom just doesn't make my day, dude.

It was Bagface, I think, asking about that.. you had me at Theresa's bra mention. =)

I prefer seeing her in it than you, my friend. Carry on...

Hi W,

You're right, it was Bagger who first mentioned the bra and girdle (she's a wild one from NY.......not quite Jersey, but close). Then you said "LOOKING LIKE SPIDERMAN AND CROSS-DRESSED IN VICTORIA'S SECRET'S RED LACED BRA AND PANTIES WITH "SKY HIGH" HEELS JUST ENTERED A LOCAL BURGER KING AND ASKED FOR A WHOPPER TO GO.. FILM AT ELEVEN..". And I WAS planning on wearing my Spidey hat, of course. But you're right (again), I can't go around giving everybody free peeks at me in my finest lusty attire. So sorry folks, no pics of yours truly decked out in a bra and panties (or girdle or bikini bottom). Whew!.....sure glad we cleared that up......the pressure was getting unbearable.

I think I'm still waiting to hear how y'all are "gettin' it on" without your partner knowing you got a "frontbutt". And YES, I'm copyrighting "frontbutt" for use on my own ostomy website when they throw me off this one.

;0)

Bob

Told you bro... speak to Honest Abe.  

Warrior,

You mean Honest Abe wants to see me in a bra and panties too??? My gosh.........what is it with you guys???

HA-HA!

As they say in Yersey.......No!...How YOU doin'?

Later,

Spidey

You guys are a riot!! I like the "Bagger"! 

(Bangs head on desk) No, no.. Dear Bob.. What I meant is, I recall a few posts and months ago, I think it was Honest Abe saying he had no trouble "getting busy" with his girlfriends.. (plural form) In fact, I do believe he said "they didn't even notice it"---- (the bag.-- at least that's what I was led to believe he meant.......)

Therefore.... Since you're so.... Interested in an answer, I suggested you speak to the man, the myth, the legend-in-making- himself. Abe..

Now I have not seen him post in a while.. Perhaps he ran off and got married without telling a soul?? Oh, even better, he got boinked one too many times and is in recovery..?? The former unlikely, the latter I'd bet the farm on it. Dig? Warrior.

Total entertainment! Thanks guys, saving me a fortune not having to go to the movies or subscribe to cable TV! Haha

Puppy

Like taxes, dear, your bill is coming...

Haha, nothing in life is free anymore! Damn!

You guys are friggin killing me....LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL..

Folks,

It's about time this site had a little humor associated with it... glad everyone enjoys our banter!

Warrior... oh, I remember 'Old Abe. He is one of the folks I'm expecting to join in this conversation any time now... but you're right in that he hasn't posted in a while. I hope everything is ok. Hopefully, he's too busy "gettin' busy" to reply. He probably went out and bought a cowboy hat after reading how much the chicks on here dig cowboys. Yeee-Haaa!

Later Kimosabe,

Bob

Guys, looks like Abe is fine. He just posted on someone's picture. Maybe he is thinking about this! Lol

Puppyluv