A year later. What I lost but gained

It's been a year since I started what would be the worst 2 months I have ever experienced. My diverticulitis flared up and IBS was on overdrive. Add to that a very stressful job, weekly doctor visits, a myriad of medications, and hospital stays. Unfathomable pain, mental exhaustion, panic attacks, and anxiety, I was the quintessential hot mess!

Nothing worked, I was not living, merely existing. Take me to October 26, 2023, and I wake up with a colostomy and not a happy camper at all!

What a journey this has been. I fought through one of the darkest times mentally and physically. It took 3 months before I got to the point where I could go out and experience life. 6 months later, I was donning a bathing suit and heading to the pool with my grandkids.

Not an easy journey, not one I would wish on anyone, and yes, I woke up and gained what I feared most, a colostomy.

BUT

I lost so much more

I lost my self-doubt—I can make it through anything.

I lost my loathing of my body—it's keeping me alive.

I lost my inhibitions—you have to when you talk about poop and stuff.

I lost my fear of the unknown—life happens whether you worry or not.

I lost a stressful job—I have an awesome one now.

I lost pain—once healed, I am no longer doubled over crying every day.

I can honestly say life is indeed good, I just had to have mine shaken and stirred quite a bit to finally get it. I don't let a day go by that I'm not grateful for the opportunity of living.

 

Well said!

What a great post Nini!  You have indeed gained much through all those things you lost!  You should be very proud of yourself.

Terry

From a wordsmith such as yourself, that means a lot.

Thank you Terry!  We all have a lot to be proud of. 😊

Words of Encouragement from Ostomy Advocates I Hollister

Great post and thanks for sharing…good to hear for those of us who have been on here a while and especially helpful to any new folks coming to this site for help or healing thoughts! jb

Love it! Keep up the positivity! Life is full of ups and downs; we have to make the most of the ups :)

I appreciate how you didn’t sugarcoat how hard different times in our journeys can be, and then your contrast of finding thankfulness during/through/on this side of it is really beautiful 💜

Thank you!

Thank you! 

Thank you!

There you go Nini

Words of wisdom.

Thank you!

You are truly an inspiration! Thank you for this beautiful post. 
I had a long day of chemo today and your words are such a help. I hope to find my silver lining too. 
Maybe this is part of a magazine piece? I expect you are already a writer. 

Great way to look at the last year and look at things with a positive mindset. 👍 Congrats.

Thanks for posting your experience Nini.   You and many others here on MaO inspire me to keep my chin up and carry on.

Thank you for your kind words. A dear friend is going through chemo right now and she has bad days and it makes me feel for her .

I'm not a published writer, but I always wanted to be. I had a teacher in 5th grade who nurtured my love of writing and it's stuck ever since.

Sending thoughts full of silver linings your way!

Thank you!

 

Thank you! We are all inspiring.  I echo your thoughts, many here are the reason I accepted my fate as quickly as I did.

 We are a great group of people for sure!!

Hi Nini thanks for a positive story to read this morning.

😊

Beautifully articulated, Nini! You've reached the goal that we all seek to attain: acceptance, gratitude, growth and the ability to thrive. We have to get through the muck in order to get to this point but it's such a relief when we get there. Thanks for sharing; it's so good for all of us to hear!

Thank you!

Nini

 

"...... shaken and stirred quite a bit to finally get it."

I don't let a day go by that I'm not grateful for the opportunity of living."

 

So true

 

We can be richer and gratefulness is a much underrated easement.....

 

Your life is worth sharing - thank you so much for posting here!

 

Hugs

 

Jayne

Thank you!

G-Day Nini4, Everyone loves a happy ending and yours is a 100% success. I am so happy for you to be in that position for you to be able to tick all the boxes. Well done and enjoy life; you have more than deserved it. Regards, IGGIE

Thank you and good day to you too!

Keeping a positive attitude is the best medicine!! 

Yes, indeed !

Nina, beautifully written. I can certainly relate. You are the perfect example of making lemonade from life throwing lemons at you.