Do I Even Care About Hiding My Ostomy With Clothes?

theluckyfrog · 2012-11-26T20:17:18-05:00

So, I'm about 4 weeks into having my ileostomy, and I'm starting to get back on my feet and go places. This necessitates a new wardrobe, both because I have no winter clothes and because, as an 18-year-old girl, I have a lot of little stretchy clothes that don't really work with an ostomy. I'm mostly looking at sweaters in the stores, since it's cold outside and sweaters are really pretty :). But it's actually really hard to find tops of any sort that aren't either really tight or too short to cover my pouch fully if it hangs down. My 9" pouch hangs to just the hem of a lot of shirts, so when I sit or raise my arms it sticks out. So here's what I'm starting to ask myself: Do I even freaking care? The people I spend time with are going to know I have an ostomy, and strangers can think whatever they like because I'm never going to see them again. I don't dress so that other people won't be bothered by the sight of me. What if I had something wrong with my face? Should I wear a bag on my head?That sounded highly indignant. Anyway, I'm not talking about wearing the same tiny clothes I (sometimes) used to, I just don't want to obsess over whether my pouch is completely entirely hidden at all times. I can put a cover on it or something if seeing the clip is too much for people. In any case, the pouch shows under most shirts when it begins to fill up, giving me a bulge over one leg so I'm weirdly asymmetrical. I've tried wearing it sideways, but I find that *very* uncomfortable, and then when it starts filling up I look pregnant, which is way more embarrassing. In spite of all my tough talk, I kind of don't think I'll be able to comfortably wear anything but the six or so long, loose shirts I've found that don't show my ostomy at all. It would help a lot if I didn't strongly suspect that seeing the pouch bothers my *family*. I have to live with these people, and I feel like I have to hide the pouch even around my house. When I have my own apartment, I'm wearing whatever the hell I want to at home, but I'm not there yet. So now I wonder, to what lengths do other ostomates go to hide the pouch? Am I actually responsible for making sure other people are comfortable around me, or is that their job? One thing I do know is, better that this happens to me than to some of my friends who TOTALLY couldn't deal with it all. In some cases, their entire identity is wrapped up in (skanky) clothing, (no judgment cause I don't care what they wear but it gives you an idea), and they would sink into an all-consuming depression if they no longer matched their friends when they went to parties. I never matched anyway so whatever. That sounds harsh. I love my friends. They'll be cool about this because they were fine when I had no hair and my entire body was raw peeling skin. So I should shut up about their clothes. The fact that I'm obsessing over clothes in the first place is a good indicator that I've resolved all my real problems for the time being. But I feel like I've got something to prove, and that I won't have fully recovered as long as I'm limited to a wardrobe that doesn't even have an outfit for every day of the week.Nobody has to care about my rambling, which I would write in a private diary if the internet didn't encourage us all to broadcast our thoughts, but if somebody does read this I'd be interested to know how they felt about concealing their ostomy and if they had an easier time finding clothing than I do. I'm going to stop before I write a novel here. Peace :)

sthorough

Dec 17, 2012 1:25 am

There's a bag made by a company called Cymed. The bag, I think, is called MicroSkin and has a different method of attaching. I actually have some samples, but I haven't tried them yet. The flange extender part of the seals is made of the same stuff they use for sticking down IVs, I believe, so it should be a good seal. You could at least get some samples to try.

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sthorough

Dec 17, 2012 1:25 am

Actually, I just read your last post again and noticed that you said your stoma is pretty flush with your skin - that's weird - ileos usually stick out quite a bit for the very reason that it keeps the fluid away from the skin. I have a colostomy that's almost entirely flush and one thing that helps me is getting the pre-cut bags. Seems like they just stick better.

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ileoscohelp

Dec 17, 2012 6:06 pm

I have tried the convex bag. Yes, I have tried stoma powder, but the rawness on my skin is so irritated the littlest touch burns like hell. One of the nurses from the hospital who is the head of the ostomy department came over Saturday and brought me some other products, and I have leaked through them all. No, we have not yet tried pre-cut bags. Yes, the way the doctor did this surgery, I am not happy at all, needless to say. As to the stoma comment, I will ask about the microskin. And that's what I have to use, extra tape like what they use for IVs, around the flange to hold it on a little longer. But my skin is not getting so raw. There is about a 6-inch square around my stoma that is red. Thank you for all comments and help. I am willing to try anything. They even put me on Xanax because of my nerves over this. Grrrrr.

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Tips For Managing An Ostomy At School

Hollister

As a student, there are easy ways you can prepare ahead and manage an ostomy while you are at school.

Read answers to frequently asked questions about how to change your pouch and participate in activities.

jeffro

Dec 17, 2012 6:39 pm

I wear a compression wife beater under my clothes to hide both ileostomy (I use a convex flange two-piece system) and I also suffer from gynecomastia. So it helps for both issues. Honestly, I'm not paranoid about my bag at all, I have way too many health issues to deal with, it just turned out as a bonus benefit of using the compression shirt to cover up my man boobs. I am more ashamed of my man boobs than having a new-improved butthole. The compression shirt does a great job at concealing the bag, and yet doesn't restrict any flow.

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HarleySue

Jun 26, 2018 2:44 am

Jeffro, where can I get a compression wife beater, here in Ind.? I wear a bathing suit under my clothes, to help cover up my colostomy bag. Never be ashamed of any part of your body, it's who you are. I've had 14 surgeries since 1999 due to LMS muscle cancer. I have many scars, they are a part of me, my journey! Thanks for your shares.

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