A Year Later. What I Lost But Gained

Question

It's been a year since I started what would be the worst 2 months I have ever experienced. My diverticulitis flared up and IBS was on overdrive. Add to that a very stressful job, weekly doctor visits, a myriad of medications, and hospital stays. Unfathomable pain, mental exhaustion, panic attacks, and anxiety, I was the quintessential hot mess!
Nothing worked, I was not living, merely existing. Take me to October 26, 2023, and I wake up with a colostomy and not a happy camper at all!
What a journey this has been. I fought through one of the darkest times mentally and physically. It took 3 months before I got to the point where I could go out and experience life. 6 months later, I was donning a bathing suit and heading to the pool with my grandkids.
Not an easy journey, not one I would wish on anyone, and yes, I woke up and gained what I feared most, a colostomy.
BUT
I lost so much more
I lost my self-doubt—I can make it through anything.
I lost my loathing of my body—it's keeping me alive.
I lost my inhibitions—you have to when you talk about poop and stuff.
I lost my fear of the unknown—life happens whether you worry or not.
I lost a stressful job—I have an awesome one now.
I lost pain—once healed, I am no longer doubled over crying every day.
I can honestly say life is indeed good, I just had to have mine shaken and stirred quite a bit to finally get it. I don't let a day go by that I'm not grateful for the opportunity of living.

Marjatta · Answer

Detailing the ups and downs of your personal journey has been very inspiring to me, Nini4. Yours are the posts that I cling to in my darkest hours, when I feel that no one else could possibly understand what I'm going through. You help to light up the way from my temporary dark cloud.
Congrats on having such a kick-ass life! You deserve it!
M
xo

7dragonflies.hm · Answer

Absolutely beautiful. Lovely perspective!

Nini4 · Answer

Marjatta,
Oh my. I'm touched beyond belief. I am happy to know I can be of comfort to someone.  This journey is nothing to face alone.  
Much love your way.

Nini4 · Answer

Thank you!

brokelawnman · Answer

I don't post on here much; I'm very shy, not much of a keyboard warrior. It'll be two years this Christmas Day since my modification. 😁 Your post sure hit home with me to a "T". I really needed it right now. 👍 Thanks and God bless you. 🙏

Nini4 · Answer

Bless you!  Sending good thoughts your way.

SharkFan · Answer

It's all about perspective.  Seems like you understand that.  Your post will help many.  
Keep it up and best of Health, 
SharkFan

Lulume · Answer

Way to go, Nini... Waking up with a colostomy is unnerving, to say the least, and acceptance comes slowly... but it's a small price to pay for a second lease on life. I love how you won the battle and your change of attitude. 👍

A year later. What I lost but gained

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