Hello countryatheart. Thanks f or the post. A few years back I was dreading that I would not be able to irrigate any longer because the muscles that operate the peristalsis movement had shifted over the hole, completely blocking it so that I could not get the cone into the stoma. Also the wind was building up inside and causing lots of pain because it could not push past the blockage. It was at this point I remembered that much earlier on, the stoma nurse had pushed her finger into the stoma to explore what was causing a blockage at that time. I thought, 'anything you can do--- I can do too', so I tried pushing my own finger into the stoma to ascertain what was going on. Sure enough, I couldn't get it past the muscle blockage. However, I was not going to be put off by my own muscles so I persevered by leaving my finger in position and applying quite a lot of pressure until suddenly the hole opened up and allowed my digit to pass into the hole. After digitally exploring as much as I could on the inside and not finding anything else blocking the passageway, I left my finger where it was for a few minutes to see what happened. I don't know why it surprised me but the peristalisis began to constrict my finger so tightly that I was sure that I would lose the circulation within it. It was also doing its job by trying to push my finger back out of the hole. Not to be defeated by a muscle, I was determined that my finger would not be ejected so, using considerable force, I kept it where it was. After what seemed ages (but was probably less than a minute) the muscle relaxed and released my finger to explore again.
The point of this long-winded story is that, it was then that I figured that this muscle needed to be 'trained' to allow me to continue to irrigate and to let the wind be released when necessary. Nowadays, I use my finger to release the muscle prior to pushing the cone in to irrigate - making sure I use enough pressure on the cone so that it is not pushed out prematurely. That seems to have worked okay for a few years and I'm hoping it will continue to work.
Also, I use the same digital technique to get the stoma plug in for the following day, otherwise it would not get past first base. However, stoma plugs are no match for the pressure of the peristalsis and would often get pushed out. In order to counteract this, I have experimented with several gadgets that would act like a finger and stay put in the stoma to 'teach' the muscle that it cannot have it's own way simply because it is powerful. I won't bore you with all the devices I've tried because they all work to varying degrees. However, the latest model shows great promise and it was cheap and simple to make and use.
It consists of one of those plastic nasal inhalers where you unscrew the outer casing and sniff the mentol (or whatever) up you nostrils. With the outer casing screwed back on it is almost precisely 'finger-size'. I drilled matching holes in the outer and inner casings while they were scewed together so that the holes lined up and would let gas out from the end and sides ( my first attempt with just a hole in the end proved inadequate because the muscle simply closed over it.) Of course, all the holes needed to be carefully finished off and countersunk so that they had no scratchy surfaces and would slide into the stoma smoothly. The outer end end of the nasal inhaler where the two parts screw together ws drilled right across to allow two pieces of wire to be threaded through to take an adjustable waistband ( Borrowed from one of a manufacturers devices). The waistband needed to be robust enough to stop the device from being pushed out by the muscle long enough for the muscle to give up pushing.
This device and procedure has worked well for me over a few years. Enough for the stoma plugs to, by and large, stay put now, as they should have been doing all along. I am convinced that my muscle has been trained to behave itself to the point where I can continue to irrigate and wear stoma plugs - so it works for me.
Having said that, I think that your friend needs to have some medical advice before trying anything at all, as something that suits me does not necessarily mean it will be suitable for someone else.
Whilst I am willing to share what I have experimented with - for me, I would hate to think that someone else might try the same things inappropriately so, I hereby absolve myself of any responsibility for what other people may try.
I would add that I have had many failures in my experiments and almost all of them need 'tweeking' in the early stages in order to get them to work adequately. That is where manufacturers have the advantage in research and development, in that they don't talk about products (like I do) until they are sure that they work and will not rebound on them as lawsuits.
Sorry about the essay - but I hope your friend finds a solution to his problem soon as it must be worrying for him if he cannot irrigate properly.
best wishes and give him my regards
Bill