When to disclose my condition while dating?

Hi, I really felt for you when I read your post. It was the same for me when I did internet dating. One chap came back for coffee on the 3rd date and used my loo. I was really keen on him, but he opened my cupboard which had all my supplies in it as he finished all my loo roll. When he came out after quite some time, I asked him if he was alright. He said, "Yes, I am alright, but are you?" I never heard from him again.

I started to date people exclusively with medical backgrounds, and that is where I found the acceptance. In fact, when I told them I had bowel cancer, 2 chaps asked me if I had a stoma and were fine about it.

Those dates did not work out for other reasons.

I had my reversal 54 days ago now, and I am nearly back to normal. I will always have the scars, which are quite impressive, and that is now something else that I will need to worry about. But hey! Who is perfect?

Sunny x

I got dumped less than a week before my surgery. As one astute poster previously observed, there are superficial narcissistic ego-driven losers. This being noted, if we put ourselves out there, probability dictates we'll meet some of them. My surgery was Dec. 1. My old girlfriend started calling me three weeks ago. I signed up here less than a week ago, and I'm sure I'll meet more like Ana. And more than likely, I'll meet some truly wonderful women as well. I know you're out there.

Hello Malicie67, I'm in your shoes. I do believe I've had my colostomy for 2 years this month. Now that I'm thinking, it will be the 18th. Time flies. But I'm like you, I can't date because I don't know how to tell the person if we should end up together, close, that I wear a bag. I do think it would be a turn off, but on the other hand, I got to believe that the only thing different is that we go in a bag and they get to sit down. Hahahaahah, I have a lot of different things to put over my bag that are pretty and you can't see the bag when I put them on, but no one sees them but me. I'm ready to tell some people because I do think that we are special people and that if others can't see us for who we are, then I guess they can really kiss my a.... or my bag lololo. I hope I do find a nice guy that will accept me for me, because I'm a good person, a lot of fun, love to talk, and a good listener. So it has been good talking to you. I hope you answer. I would love to chat with you. Till then, Malcie67, you be careful and safe. BYE, Sharon.

HELLO CHRSWLHLM, I HOPE I SPELLED THAT RIGHT. SORRY ABOUT ANNA IF THAT IS HER NAME, YOU WILL MEET A LOT OF NICE WOMEN ON HERE, AND MAYBE YOUR DATE!!!!! SO DON'T GIVE UP. I'M STILL LOOKING AND HOPING TO FIND SOMEONE. SO BE GOOD AND CAREFUL, WRITE BACK IF YOU WOULD LIKE, WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU. Sharon

It can happen!! I told this guy about my bag like when I met him and he asked me out on a date after! I showed him the bag on me, I showed him bags that weren't used yet and I answered any and all of his questions. When I told him about the bag he wasn't put off but he didn't really understand it, but when I showed him the bag he looked at it and said "That's it? That's what the fuss is about? Really? You honestly thought THAT would put me off you? Well it's going to take much much more than that little thing to put me off!"
He asked me out and now he's my boyfriend.
He said to me "It's just you and me. Always. You and me, and our little friend... I'll have to give it a nickname" meaning my stoma lol.

So it CAN and it DOES happen!! You just gotta meet the loveliest person to show you that.

Stories of Living Life to the Fullest from Ostomy Advocates I Hollister

Hi Franicca, just read your post regarding your new boyfriend, that's great news that he is understanding and loves you for what you are, bag and all! Hope you have a long happy relationship with him.

Gordon

Franicaa,

Now that is a lovely story.

X_

Hello franicaa. I really enjoyed reading your post. However, I think there was a big thing missing. It's surely not just you and you ostomy but your great big personality that has attracted your man.  Best wishes  Bill