Sex with an ostomy bag - Tips to avoid interference?

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3368
AmyMichD
Jul 15, 2020 5:04 pm

Hi

I have had my ileostomy bag for 4 years now and I am about to get married. This will be my first time with my ileostomy bag having sex. I am just worried about it getting in the way while we are having sex. Please advise what your experience has been. I did buy an ostomy belt; however, the bag is still sticking out. I would really like to not worry about it getting in the way.

Thanks for anything you suggest.

Amy

Maried
Jul 15, 2020 5:20 pm

Use an ostomy wrap or tube top over the bag to keep it in place.

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VeritasSeeker
Jul 15, 2020 6:13 pm

I wear a wrap. I also use the Coloplast two-piece which allows me to rotate the bag 90 degrees to the side. The side placement, combined with the wrap, keeps it out of the way. Haven't had any problems other than my own mental hang-ups.

AmyMichD
Jul 15, 2020 6:15 pm

When you say wrap, what do you mean? Is this something you buy from the Ostomy supplies?

Thanks

AmyMichD
Jul 15, 2020 6:16 pm

When you say wrap, what do you mean? Is this something you buy from the ostomy supplies?

Thanks

 

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VeritasSeeker
Jul 15, 2020 6:22 pm

I have about three maternity wraps! They work well for this purpose. I also have two ostomy wraps with the pockets from Ostomy Secrets, but their pockets are vertical so I don't use them in bed. I've had good luck with my ostomy management and appliances. I'm partial to Coloplast which allows me to rotate, as I previously mentioned, and also protect the unlock tab during physical contact.  

Past Member
Jul 15, 2020 7:55 pm

I have been married for 35 years. It's never a problem, but I am big on pretty lingerie. Definitely look on Ostomy Secrets Etsy!!!

Mggy34
Jul 15, 2020 9:39 pm

The maternity belts or ostomy wraps work well. It's like a tube top for your midsection. You can just empty the bag beforehand, fold it in half, and tuck it in the wrap. Or turn your bag sideways if you wear a two-piece appliance and put the wrap on.

Amazon, Target, Etsy, Ostomy Secrets (kinda pricey) all have them.

It didn't get in the way as much as I thought it would.

MBT
Jul 16, 2020 7:18 am

Vanilla Blush www.vblush.com has an intimacy underwear line that might be helpful. Also, as suggested, OstoMySecrets by Convatec has some lacy garments for securing and hiding the pouch.

Some people who wear a 2-piece system put on a smaller pouch for times of intimacy. Not very spontaneous, I know, but it might help with camouflage.

Immarsh
Jul 16, 2020 9:10 pm

Hi, I got married at 20, to a man who also had an ostomy, so between us, we had two pouches.. :>)) In missionary position, that meant one on the right and one on the left.... We were both very accepting and learned what worked best for us.. The pouches never really got in the way, even when we "experimented" with other positions.. When I divorced 24 years later, I had to face the dating scene and possible sexual encounters with new partner(s). Over the last 20+ years, I've had long-term/sexual relationships with a few guys (one at a time) and as long as they were accepting, having the ostomy and the pouch didn't seem to matter and never got in the way.. I never did try a wrap, but I have emptied and then folded the pouch "up" and taped it to my skin. That really worked well.. I also took a scissor to a pair of stretchy/lace panties (and cut a slit in the crotch). These were the days before "ostomy" supplies had "matured".. These days, do what others suggested and find products that work for you, or improvise... Good luck, Marsha

Axl
Jul 16, 2020 11:09 pm

Hi Amy

Cheap and easy


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Axl

Riva
Jul 28, 2020 2:35 am

Check out Ostomy Secrets - they have apparel for men and women with ostomies from lingerie to bathing suits. Problem solved. Enjoy. Always remember a pouch does not define whom we are. More importantly, congratulations on your upcoming wedding.

dmo101
Jul 30, 2020 1:53 pm

No need to go out and buy something.

Wear a t-shirt that fits snug. Wear some high rise underwear and you can make some modifications to the business area.

Old pair of underwear, cut off the elastic waistband and tuck the tail of your bag into that.

No need to waste money on all these special pouch covers.

xnine
Aug 13, 2020 5:01 pm

Nightingale Ostomy Supplies may have some other stuff you might like.