Hi Jayne,
I too went through that emotional depression about 5 weeks into my healing from my first surgery. I think it was because as my body healed, I now realized what I was dealing with emotionally and there it was—*BAM* right in my face! lol
I had a routine abdominal hysterectomy in October '09 and the doctor cut my colon. I had a fever of over 104, the most horrendous abdominal pain, and they let me lie there like that for 77 hours before they would take action. I almost died, had a horrible E. coli infection, and raging sepsis. When they finally took me in again and opened me up, my gut was full of "pus & shit," the other doc's words. When I was stable enough and out of ICU, my boyfriend had me moved by ambulance to a wonderful hospital, Research Medical Center in Kansas City. The doctors there were appalled at what had happened, and they treated me for my infection and the other stuff.
I had several hospitalizations and a few more surgeries to repair various things in the weeks that followed, but I kept having these horrible abdominal pains and this odd drainage from my vagina. I assumed I was healing from everything and I assumed the drainage was from the hysterectomy. I even saw the doc that put in my emergency colostomy from the shitty hospital and he said it was adhesions and I would have to deal with the pain until I got my reversal.
The drainage got so bad and foul-smelling, I finally, after many attempts, no one would treat me, they didn't want to get sued, I found an amazing GYN Oncologist from Research. The pus was E. coli and I also had a fistula from my anus to vagina from infection being left in so long. I had my reversal and fistula repair at the same time at Research on Feb 15th. Come to find out, the idiot doctor that installed my emergency colostomy left in the piece of colon that had been originally cut and it laid over my vaginal cuff which wasn't sewn properly. This formed a huge abdominal abscess and a fistula. The infection was so bad, they had to remove another 8 inches of my colon, half of my rectum, and my one remaining ovary. So now I am in menopause at age 40. To complicate this...if I decide to do HRT, I have to be on blood thinners for the rest of my life due to a blood clotting disorder I have. NICE! lmao
Sorry to make this such a long, boring story but that's me in a nutshell!
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It sucks and I feel like shit most days but I am so happy to be given another chance at life. I almost lost mine and I will do what it takes to stick around here!!!
Good luck to you and I hope you are on the mend and if it helps, I see a therapist to help me deal with the trauma I had. It's still very hard to discuss it but I am getting better slowly, with the support of these great peeps on this site and my kids and my fantastic boyfriend and mom & sister...and a little help from Zoloft! lol
I'm always here if you wanna talk! Shoot me an email. I'm no psychologist, just a nice Texas girl with good listening skills!!!
Love ya, Hannah