Hello Tilda.
Thanks for posting your problem and inviting our replies. Rectal discharge can be both physically and psychologically irritating and both need to be addressed for a satisfactory outcome. You have already had some good replies , so I won't cover the same ground.
Firstly, surgeons are often not the best people to appraoch for aftercare - I found that they were most interested in surgery so, if somethiing goes wrong, they look to another form of surgery to put it right (that's their job)? Stoma nurses on the other hand, do deal with the aftermath of surgery and are much more likely to have sensible sugggestions as to what you can do about anal mucus and irritation.
Secondly, Anal discharge is a common event, as you have indicated. There can be many reasons why it can cause irritation, so it's best to appraoch theis thing with a degree of systematic logic. If normal skin barriers and creams don't help, then a trip to your nurse or doctor might help ( I had an irritation a few years back and my doctor prescribed an anti-fungal cream for athletes foot. The irritation cleared up in a day! (apparently, it can transfer from between the toes to anywhere similar where there is a warm,damp crack).
Thirdly, This topic has been raised before and can be found in the COLLECTIONS section. ther might be some useful tips there.
I have a regular routine involving having a bath so that all that areas and stoma can be washed thoroughly, then dried. I keep it free of body hair by shaving, as I found when this grows longer, it holds the mucus and irritates. I also fold up a piece of tissue and place it between my buttocks before I use the incontince pad for complete protection. The beauty of a tissue is that it catches the more liquid output and gives the inc-pad a chance to absorb the mucus. It also gives us the option of using it for application of any medication creams/powders etc.
Years ago, I sorted the problem with my own type of anal irrigation, but that's a whole new dimension which is not recommended by the medical profession. However, the 'cone' method, which is recommended for stoma irrigation can sometimes work in the anus as well (as that's what it was designed for).
As for the psychological side; I found that once the physical aspects were sorted, the psychological irritation diminished accordingly!
I hope you find a solution soon.
Best wishes
Bill