Struggling with Depression and Ileostomy Challenges - Need Support

I am going on to 3 years with this ileostomy attached to my body now. His name is Pedro. I can't afford a reversal now that Covid and Pedro keep me from working my real trade. I keep getting bummed out. My pets feel my pains the worst as their lives changed also. But also why I still fight to get to the next day. The hernia has made things a whole lot different. Can't even get the wafer on and it not leak for one day. And then have to wear it for at least 7 to 10 days before changing to afford the supplies. Ileostomy and parastomal hernia. Wow. Not quitting. Pets/family need cared for and God has this. Thanks for listening. The pain sure makes it worse.

Praying for you, man!! I can understand what you're going through. There are a lot of products out there to help in your situation. A good starting place would be to contact the good people at Coloplast.

https://www.coloplast.us

1-800-533-0464

They have all the products you need to help with your situation. It may take a little work, but they will help you get what you need.

If you need any more help, let me know.

Cplumber

Plumber is right about getting help from some suppliers. I use Hollister and they have also been good about sending me samples. I know it can be hard when you are having a lot of problems. I will also pray for you to get through this and find what will work for you.

Hello Carpenter56.

You have had some good advice in coping with the practicalities of stoma management. However, the title of your post is 'depression', which I suspect is one of the main reasons you are conversing with us.

You are certainly not alone in trying to cope with this aspect of having and managing a stoma. I have used writing to  help clarify my own thinking about all aspects of stoma life including depression, and I will share with you a couple of rhymes which helped me at the time.

They may not help you directly, but at least you will know that you are not alone in how you feel.

Best wishes

Bill

DEPRESSED.

I’ve got the right to be depressed

if I do not feel at my best.

Just as I might have felt quite happy

when my life was not so crappy.

You bet I’m sad when things go bad

and ponder yonder life I had.

I can’t help but count the cost 

of the life that I’ve now  lost.

When thinking of the nitty-gritty

I’m exhausted with self-pity.

I feel that’s justifiable

whilst things aren’t rectifiable.

My mind stays open and plays host

to most unkind and callous ghosts.

When they do their heartless haunting 

then I feel ‘all’ life is daunting.

Most of the ghosts contrast my past

which makes me even more downcast.

As I reminisce for hours

depression comes and overpowers.

Harking back to yesterday

doesn’t make it go away.

In fact it acts in the reverse

making depression that much worse.

I know things in my life go wrong

but I must keep on being strong.

So now I think I really ought

to rid myself of bad, sad thought.

I’ve got the right to be depressed

if I do not feel at my best

but maybe if I fake the happy

my life may not feel quite so crappy.

                                  B. Withers 2013

DEPRESSION.

Pre-stoma days I’d the impression 

there was no way I’d get depression.

For I was looking forward to

a new and painless way to poo. 

After suffering all those years

so often coming close to tears.

The prospect of relief from pain

gave me belief in life again.

I thought I ought to be prepared

and not get caught a little scared.

I did not know the seeds of doubt

might grow in me and then sprout out.

But after they had nicely hid

that’s precisely what they did.

They must have stayed and laid in wait

in some sort of dormant state.

That was until I had the op.

because it’s then it would not stop.

Depression filled my battered brain

when once instilled by hurt and strain.

I could not cope with what I’d lost

and did not count emotional cost.

I had a sort of disbelief

at being caught in all that grief.

I’m sure it was when colon went

and all my energy was spent.

That’s when my depression started

at the time my colon parted.

But over time I have adjusted

in my stoma I have trusted.

So now I’ve had it quite a while

sometimes I might be seen to smile.

                                  B. Withers 2013

Hi Carpenter, I think it's Hollister that makes a star-shaped wafer that is for hernias. Good luck 1-888-808-7456.

How to Manage Emotions with LeeAnne Hayden | Hollister

The star-shaped is Coloplast SensuraMio Convex Flip.
I tried it but it didn't work for me. Wished it had, very comfortable.
Good luck.

Please don't hesitate to contact your WOCN for help on how to address frequent leaks. Also, most of the major ostomy suppliers have patient assistance programs to help you get the supplies you need. Check out https://www.ostomy211.org/resources/assistance-programs/.

I can definitely identify with your pain and depression. I'm not the one with the ostomy, but I take care of my adult autistic son who had his ileostomy 4 months ago, but it feels like 4 years ago. Praying for you and us too. We will survive!

Hi, Carpenter - I sympathize with your situation. I have had my ileostomy since 2008 and have had many problems with leakage over the years as my body shape has changed, due to a large parastomal hernia and to a large degree, aging! I am most fortunate to have a supplier of my ostomy equipment that has a team of Enterostomal Therapist nurses. These amazing people will go way beyond to find a solution to my issues when they come up. When you go to one supplier, such as Hollister or Coloplast, they are only going to work with their own product lines but an independent supplier will try different manufacturers' products to get the best possible result. I started out with Hollister and used their products for many years, convinced that theirs was the absolute best product for me but when my body shape changed, my nurse experimented with several different brands and I ended up with Coloplast. Will I stay with them permanently? Maybe and maybe not. Do I get consistency regarding the length of time between changes? Absolutely not! But generally I'm getting more before, usually between 3 and 5 days.

Good luck, Carpenter!

Hi Carpenter, just wanted to check in on you to see how things are going. Hope things are going better.