Oh gosh long story, I suppose what I need to do is finish my blog!
I will try and do in bullet points -
2004, had an ileostomy formed in order to divert stool awawy from a healing fistula 2010, after 10 attempts, it looks so far as though the repair has been successful because I have had my pelvic floor rippred to shreds 10 times and had my anus rebuilt at least 3 times that I know of - I am now no longer sure if it will be effective my colon is currently impacted with faeces and has been for months where my loop ileo has been malfunctionning - I am concerned that after 6 years it is no longer 'patent' as nothing is moving down there when I had my ileostomy - I was quite fit and healthy - just had an inconvenient hole where there shouldn't have one causing me to be incontinent when the ieo malfunctionned - now 6 years later after 20 anaesthetics etc I am now diabetic, have sleep apnoea, fibromyalgia, pernicious anaemia, osteoarthritis and a degenerative spine where I have several tears and bulges and nerve roots are being compromised (all due to a huge parastomal hernia) and some changes in my brain - not sure what that means but nothing dodgy as yet apparently! (but half the time I cannot remember what I have had for breakfast or if I have taken my multitude of medication - and if it isn't written on my computer, it doesn't happen!)
So ............ with fibromyalgia comes IBS, sometimes with diabetes you can get diabetic diarrhoea now I would far rather have a leak with my bag than have to run to find a toilet and find that I cannot hold on to it and have an accident - that to me would be far far worse than the bag coming off - a dignity thing.....
I suppose for me its the opposite of where most of you have come from who now have the pouch and have spent years running to the loo several times a day .... and have found having a pouch much easier to handle ...... what you guys have been through with UC etc I am trying to avoid ....
So when they go in to repair the hernia, they will either reverse the ileo or give me a permanent stoma .... I really want this to be my last surgery, I have had enough, my body has had enough so just want to take the right route. I don't really want the surgery at all, BUT - if I don't, I will probably end up in an emergency situation where I will be operated on by some general surgeon in Swindon, whereas if I have it done electively, it will be with the best surgeons in London ..... I am terrified this time, none of it has bothered me particularly before, but this one is a biggie and its scaring the life outta me! The thought of them leaving me with open wounds on my abdomen is awful too, which was why I was asking about the mesh surgery ....
So any thoughts on that would be really appreciated, just be devils advocate for me - hope it makes sense??
Rach xxxxxx