Moving on

Hi everyone, I joined this site a few years ago, but I have not logged in for a long time. I have to say I enjoyed the banter, and I hope everyone I used to chat with is doing okay. It's been nearly 4 years since my doctor decided to slice me apart and rip out my guts, lol, not that gruesome, but true nonetheless, hehe.

For those who are new to stomas and the pain, humiliation, lack of energy, and having to deal with a bag attached to you all the time, I'm here to tell you life does move on. It pains me to say it, but how you move forward is down to you. It's so easy to feel sorry for yourself and use your illness as an excuse or a cop-out. I know because I did it all. Oh, don't get me wrong, I thought the complete opposite. I thought I was dealing with it admirably, nothing was going to knock me, and it was just bad luck that did not allow me to move on.

Eventually (well, in my case anyway), I began to realize that I was standing behind my stoma and using it as a barrier for everything. To be truthful, there are few things I can do now that I was able to do before my surgery, and age is more a prohibitor there than anything else, lol.

I will always be self-conscious of my stoma bag, but I have adapted how I dress and, in truth, most people will never know anything about my bag. For me, my sanctuary is my daily shower. I know some do not change their bag every day, but I shower every day without my bag, and those few minutes allow me to be as I was born, believe me, that's important to me, lol. I almost feel human at those times, lol.

My lifestyle has changed, I manage my energy to try and maximize my day as much as possible. Yes, sometimes I get it wrong, but so what. I just start again, it's all you can do, stoma or no stoma.

There are always people around to help you, they might not be in front of you, but look around, seek them out if you need help. Never, ever be afraid to ask a question. Nothing is too silly or too stupid. If you don't know or are not sure, ASK!

I'm no counselor, but if anyone ever has a question, just ask, this site will let me know and I'll respond when I'm able, you can never have too many friends.

John

Hello John.
Thanks for posting a great and inspiring story which tells it as it was and is.
It is so important for fellow ostomates to hear from people like you, who have lived through the more difficult times but have emerged as stronger, more capable individuals.
Sometimes, when people are at the beginning of this journey through some unwanted experiences it can seem daunting and never ending. Your story does indeed indicate that we can and do move on so hopefully it will act as that proverbial light at the end of the tunnel for those who have just entered the dark end for the first time.
Best wishes
Bill

This is a brilliant post - I am sure it will help many others. I loved the "standing behind my stoma" comment...and I agree with the shower...when I do a major shower (the whole works are off) I feel like the old me...no crinkling of plastic. All the best! Good health!

So glad you mentioned the 'crinkling of plastic'—it's the one thing I hate about the bags that have saved my life! Have adapted and am thankful, but I still hate that sound when I'm trying to be normal. Only thing!

Glad to hear you're doing well, old friend!

Living with Your Ostomy | Hollister