When I arrived home from the hospital experience we've all had the pleasure of tasting, I was actually being launched into a new world order with a newborn baby turd machine complete with its own artificial intelligence. We've all got one or had one, you know,.. it's that adorable blossoming red thing trying to eat its way out of your flipping (trying to keep the language down a bit today) abdomen. I thought it wouldn't be easy and like everyone else it wasn't, so I've had my share of problems and glitches, enough to moan about but I can assure you all that my problems fade into insignificance when I think of the distressful and soul-destroying conditions some of our ostomates have to bear.
After the first couple of days back home, I realized that I would have to address an issue which I knew I would have but I was too 'thick' to realize how soon and literally how dedicated I would need to be. This is genuinely no biggie but it natters the sodding shite out of me (well, I did try. Quite soon I decided to go for the long option, you know... remove long term! So my first mistake was to listen to the friendly advice, freely given from known assassins, AKA, trusted family members! With this advice, I decided to ''Nair'' the stoma patch to give me a lovely hair-free heaven. Now if any unsuspecting vulnerable person would like to try this, I recommend a quality life insurance because this stuff is now logged in my how to perform Homus Suicidus. Maybe some people can use this with good results but my trial was disastrous with severe blowlamp burns and blisters over the whole area. It happened so quick I couldn't clean it off in time to stop it. Its nature is such that you have to leave it on for about 4 to 5 mins, by this time cleaning it off is too late, the damage is done and believe me it's painful then cleaning it off. After that, wearing a bag is no easy task but has to be done. I do shave and have a number of different electric razors which are well suited to the job until it comes to the stoma and there are a number of sneaky buggers almost part of the stoma, if I leave them, I dread to even think about it. I manage alright, but wonder how many others have this as one of their problems, or just dislikes, and also wonder has anyone tried laser treatment,... not that I even contemplate the professional anti-aircraft weapons they have in the high street treatment parlors, I lean more towards the home use handheld laser units around 200 to 300 GB Pounds/Dollars. I have now had 12 months of nipping, pulling, and itching under the wafer with the adhesive tugging at the hairs no matter how small they are after shaving. Like I've already said and I know it isn't life-threatening,... I'm just fed up with it.
So, has anyone had any experience of using such a device, or perhaps know of someone who has.
Many thanks,
Brian.