Another Surgery for Ileus - Seeking Help from NJ Surgeon

For the last month, I haven't been living. I've been hospitalized several times for an ileus (or what they think it is), and the doctors around here refuse to operate on me. I contacted my surgeon in NJ, and he's trying to fit me into the schedule. Part of my small intestine keeps closing off several times a day, for hours (sometimes up to 6 hours). I break out in full spasm in the abdominal area, and it's put a pause on my life. I can't wait until this is resolved.

You need to start living your life. Start doing things you enjoy again. Take small steps and do easy things like book clubs, short easy hikes, take a class, and start talking and meeting new people. Nobody knows you have an ostomy and nobody needs to know unless they are going to see you naked. If your ostomy gets loud, carry a light sweater to muffle the sounds and wipes in case you need to empty. Life is short.

Howdy Gemini16,

I tell everyone. Strangers staring at my tummy hump. Coworkers and family members. Confidently I tell them: "Looky here, a real live colostomy." Then I pull up my shirt and give them a free peek at it. Most are fascinated, amazed to see a real life, cherry red stoma. Anyone who doesn't like it... Don't look. My red-headed little beast gets loud sometimes passing the gas. Usually when I'm in work meetings. I just smile and say "oopsie." Or point to the engineer next to me. Which causes momentary mayhem. As Marie mentioned; Life is short. Don't waste time worrying what others think.

An ostomy does not change us. We're still the same person. But tougher, resilient.

In a sense, we are all... alone. We choose to share our lives. With friends, relatives, lovers, and online chat pals. I volunteer at my local hospital to counsel patients facing cancer and ostomy surgery. Maybe you might consider trying that too. As much as it helps the patients, it helps us.

Get out there and socialize.

If you've never been, visit a church on Sunday. Being super religious is not required. Everyone is friendly. I attend every week. I made new friends. Go out for lunch with them after church. It's nice.

Good luck and continue to post how you're doing.

Hello Gem

I'll give it to you straight.

You're an attractive woman. Get out there and let it all come to you; you have nothing to fear.

Hi Gemini, it sounds like what I had before I had resection surgery a few years ago due to Crohn's and scar tissue causing blockages, but after the surgery, what a difference, being able to go out to eat with no worries.

Getting Support in the Ostomy Community with LeeAnne Hayden | Hollister

Good luck, hope you get it all fixed and put it behind you. Living life is the only way to live.

Being in and out of the hospital can really take it out of us.

I spent 25% of 2022 in the hospital.

I sincerely hope that you get to the doctor you trust and that the team the doctor has put together will get it sorted so you can get back to life.

Gen X Gemini here.

Abe

I hate that you're still going through this. You've been such an encouragement to me when I'm trying to get medical stuff figured out. 💜

Thanks for editing your original post with more details. Ron in Michigan had similar trouble, now fixed. Keep pushing to get a good surgeon to help you. I had a similar problem. My original surgeon refused to work on me... said he was too busy! Meanwhile, I'm frigging dying. My second surgeon played the same game: too busy. As he told me this, I said, "I'm ready now. And I'll live with whatever you gotta do." So later that night at 7:00 PM, I had surgery, which lasted until 1:00 AM. When he visited me the next day, he just shook his head and said something like "Ai Yi Yiiiii." It was complicated surgery, but I'm here now because of it. Never give in.

Your comment sincerely means a great deal. Hope to connect more on a friendly basis in the near future. But, don't lose touch. Keep me posted on your situation and I'd like to continue to give each other thoughtful caring advice. Thank you for reaching out.

Thank you for commenting and sharing your experience.

Doctors around here just don't care. It's sad.

What a lovely post, Beach Boy,

I heartily iterate all that you have suggested.

Life is short - regret can be as long as one remains disconnected.

Breathe, become open to opportunity -

The rest will follow.

Hugs to all who are struggling.

Gem,

Never Give Up

And, although hard, rein in your frustration and stay strong and focused - sometimes we have to hold our ground - no matter how difficult.

Best Thoughts

Jayne