Nope Nope Not Sleeping

So I am awake and a little lonely, so I decided to write a post. I have no idea what I want to talk about, but it is something to do. Today I went to the gym and did 8 miles on the bike. I thought my legs were going to give out on me after that. I was going at a rate of a mile every 3.5 minutes. I took my new MP3 player with me with Bluetooth wireless headphones and tried not to start counting. (This has been my manic thing, counting over and over 1 to 100) So it was a struggle. I wished I could do the weights, but since I have 3 hernias, I am not (by doctor's orders) to lift anything or do any exercise that involves the core muscles. I used to love to do the bike, then the rowing machine, and the leg press, the flex machine, and all the different weight machines. Then I would be like, this is a good workout. Since now I can only do the bike, I find that I get frustrated. My arms are going to be all flabby! Plus, also weak. And the surgery is a long way off. Since I have to have my gallbladder out first, then wait a month before I can get the hernia surgery. Then there will be recovery time. So it is going to be like spring before I can lift weights again and do the machines. I am on a weight-losing obsession at the moment too. That plus being manic is not such a good combo. Let's see what else is in my brain to say. Oh, I watched Jeopardy today and the questions were crazy. I mean, I knew some of the answers but not all of them. I liked yesterday's one better. I thought Ken Jennings had a really ugly tie today. Every show I watch that has a host, I always tell my mom if the person's tie is ugly or not. Today's was ugly. Well, in my opinion. Sometimes I do like the tie, but more often I don't. There is something about Wheel of Fortune, Vanna White, she needs someone to find her sleeves. She either has one shoulder sticking out or both. Often in a strange-looking dress. Do people think she is sexy even though she is like old now? I am not trying to say only sexy people should be on TV, but that trend is out there. How come you hardly ever see average-sized people on TV? Or even fat people. If you do see a fat person, it is usually in a comedy show. And usually, someone is making fun of them. Say, does this thing have a word limit? Maybe I should stop here and do something else for a while. You all probably don't want to hear me rattle on about nothing. Oh, Marvin the stoma wants to give a shout-out to all of you. He gets a clean bag this morning, so I am sure he is happily waiting for a chance to poop on my hand.

Lee

Hello Lee.

I'm pleased to see that you are exercising your mind as well as your body. So, why not write a post and share it with the rest of us. Not everyone will either read it or appreciate what we write, but as we are primarily writing to please ourselves ( and while away the time),  this doesn't really change the equation.
I do not think that there is a word limit on this site, so you are quite entitled to express yourself for as long as you need to. 

I found your post quite interesting, in that I spent some time yesterday expressing my thoughts and frustrations (in rhyme) about the fact that I have a snotty cold, and for some ridiculous reason, it is making me fart excessively.
As there  won't be many outlets for this sort of literature, I have contemplated posting the rhyme on this site, because I can feel confident that there might be at least one or two people on here who might appreciate the sentiments expressed. 
One of the things I like most about this site, is that we can share thoughts about things that we can guess that many other people will not be interested in, or may even be disgusted by.

Best wishes
Bill

Hi Lee.

Be proud of that bike ride! That is awesome!

And I appreciate you sharing your story. You are so open and honest. You keep moving forward no matter what. And it is a reminder to me that I can do this too.

Take care of yourself!

Now that is the laugh I needed, Bill. Farty stoma seeks cold relief! Sorry to hear that you have a cold. 'Tis the season, or so the commercials on TV say. Hope you are better soon. What I like about this place is that I don't feel judged when I post things. Sure, people have different ideas and don't always agree, but there is always someone listening. Sometimes when I am having manic stuff going on, I can go on and on about nothing at all. It does help me get stuff out of my head. I was very stir-crazy last night and trying hard not to self-injure, so I was all panicky and changed activities at the drop of a hat, first trying this activity and then that. In the end, I made it through the night but didn't go to sleep until 5 a.m., and my alarm rang at 6. My mom told me today she didn't want me setting an alarm anymore unless I have somewhere to be. She thinks any hour I can get sleep should be spent doing so since I rattle on through the nighttime hours. Today I walked 3 miles outside, and that helped me some. I didn't make it to the gym due to scheduling issues, so it was nice to get a walk in. My mom took me out to lunch too, which was a treat. We shared an order of fajitas (one of my favorite foods). I am starting to experience something that I don't really like though; that is, I barely eat anything during the day and then I get the munchies late in the evening. I don't know why that is happening, and I think I want to just make a rule for myself: nothing after 8:30 when I have a small snack with my umpteen million pills I have to take. If I set a rule, I generally follow it. So I just have to get it in my head. Do you know what I have a craving for though... S'mores. Actually, I got graham crackers, big marshmallows, and a chocolate bar at the store today; that is how much I wanted it. It won't be as good as campfire ones, but I can do them in the microwave. Just, not after 8:30, LOL.

Lee

Thanks for the kind words. Part of my openness has to do with my manicness. But in general, I am usually a pretty open kind of person. If I feel like I am hiding things, that is the same to me as lying. So I try to just accept what comes, and if someone is offended, they can tell me. I think right now I am leaning a little on these groups because I don't think I can join any psych groups right now due to trying to avoid some specific people on the internet that might be in said groups. The internet is both a good and a bad thing. I guess I feel safe here because, as far as I know, these people I am avoiding do not have ostomies. So, I will say sorry if I am going way off topic. Hopefully, my willingness to share will let other people be willing to share about more than just their ostomy. I think it's more holistic that way. Because after all, aren't we more than our ostomy?

Lee

Living with Your Ostomy | Hollister

Hello Lee. 

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

I do like it when people on here go 'off-topic', as it gives me a little more confidence to do the same. 
Best wishes

Bill

Forget off topic I think I am just off.

Hope some of my ramblings helps someone else who might be struggling to know that they aren't alone or that things could be worse or might even be better. Honestly though, I don't know how much more mania I can take. 

Well I am going to the gym now to get rid of some of my energy on the bike.

Lee