Divorced

I am puzzled about divorce. It seems to me that a lot of people with ostomys are divorced or am I missing some thing. My wife stood by me through 14 years of UC and was happy the ilostomy made me healthy again. We would still be together if she were still alive.

Catman.

P.S. I have a short attestation span its hard for me to read rambling. Thanks

HA HA i wont ramble here Catman i think true love and support no matter what !! I too have a short attention span too .. sorry you lost your lovely wife .  I thought it was in sickness and in health when you get married !!!!  guess its not true love if the health part goes wrong hey !! XX mooza xx

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rambling, rambling, rambling, ramlbing, rambling...



Oh wait, you said that was difficult to read because of your short ATTENTION span?



ha haha ha, sorry...





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Huh? what was we talking about?

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A lot of people are divorced, period.

Stories of Living Life to the Fullest from Ostomy Advocates I Hollister

Count yourself among the fortunate, clp2you.  I am one of those abandoned spouses.  The rule of thumb is that men are SEVEN times more likely to divorce a wife with chronic health problems than vice versa.  Go figure.  (Just kidding - but seriously, appreciate your good woman!)       Pinky  

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My partner and I were together for 25 years and didn't need to be married, my cancer was slow and crept up on me, I suffered a lot of pain for many years. They diagnosed the cancer after 7 years then again 2 years after that. The second tumor was diagnosed in the same month he was diagnosed with stomach cancer. I had my colostomy in the November 2010 and he died in the February 2011, 4 days before I started my radiotherapy, and I still don't know why I bothered.

I think people will get divorced anyway, having an ostomy is only an excuse. Sorry to ramble but I just needed to talk today, you probably know how it is. Trudel.

at least you made it 14 years my wife diviorced me 1 year after i got my urostomy that was 9 years ago havent got a date since soon as they know you have a ostomy they say see ya

i work 2 jobs maintenance during the day and a skate guard at a roller rink at night keeping busy

My husband has been fantastic, even gave up his job to look after me after  i had my anus, rectum removed.,after six mths he went back to work that was 4yrs ago we also went on and had our second child whos 2yrs.

Pinky is right those are the statistics.  Sad but true.

I agree somewhat, but keep in mind that in one popular study these stats are based on a sub-population of a fairly small sampling. Pre-existing marital problems were never considered. Who knows for sure if illness alone caused the separation. The good news reported here is that 88% of marriages involving the serious illness of one partner did not result in abandonment by the other. I don't think spouses should necessarily fear abandonment because of serious sickness. No rule of thumb appling to men more than women has been established. Sure, men love to change TV channels frequently; but the statistic under discussion needs a little context.   PB

What should have is that my wife and I meet for the first time and married 7 days later. We were to gather 35 years, and I was sick with UC for 14 of those years. And she was sick the last 4 and we helped each other every day no matter what, be it a glass of water a hug or what ever we wanted or needed. The vow was tell death do us part and that is were we took it. She passed away march of 2011. And I miss her every minute of every day. She had a hart attack and took a piece of my hart with her.

Sorry I just rambled but it is hard for me to see all the people divorced. Charles (aka Catman)

It seems to me that the real culprit is stress. When ever there are more things put on the plate, the harder it is for people or couples to maintain balance and their effections for each other. It is nice when a couple stands by each other through thick and thin, but pressure builds, bills pile up and partners can't mentally carry the load that is heeped up upon them. The fact is when most people get married  they are healthy working and independent. It's not that people are dependent fully on the other person but they now need more of a hand from their better or worse half. And that is not what the partner had signed up for, at least not until they grow old together and need each other equally. Also we tend to change our personality for the worse we feel bad for ourselvesthis does not help our case. When times are hard, it's time to look around, and get ready for what might be happening to you.. Birds of a feather are better together.