Understanding and Supporting Ostomy Patients

Like others, I have complained about those who have been jackasses regarding my ostomy. I thought it might be nice to share some stories about those who have been brilliant about our ostomies.



One older gentleman who worked in a men's clothing store comes to my mind. I was getting fitted for a tux and when I mentioned my concern about trying to wear a belt with the pants because it went right across my ostomy, without blinking an eye he went and got me some suspenders and fixed me up.

   You never know how someone will react to an ostomy, and it is great when they are totally cool with it

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kdb,



You are so right, we spend so much time complaining and sometimes I think why do we waste our time with complaining instead we should be educating one another and share the victories because I think we have enough sadness in our lives.  



We need to stop giving the negative aspect of our lives so much power.  We can't change it, but we can chose how to handle it and no one wants to be around someone who is always complaining.



Let's focus on positive psychology for a change.



Debra

Debra, sometimes it is hard to see the 'glass half full' but without our ostomies many of us would not be here to complain

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I have had a troubling relationship with my oldest child, and one day we were in a real row where I had decided I would treat her the way she was treating me. So, about an hour into our spat, we were swinging through Home Depot to pick something up when my stomach erupted. Fortunately, we were in the bathroom because my son had wanted to go. I had no bag or cap on; only clothes with a Bella band as the only extra layer saving me now!

As soon as I felt it happening, I went back into the stall and stripped from the waist down. My kids handed me paper under the walls of the stall, including my oldest with whom I had only moments before been exchanging cross words. She was the second fastest of the three to be right there offering help to me.

I got my Bella band off, wrapped in plastic and discarded in the trash (even wrapped in plastic I just wasn't putting that in my purse, lol) and my clothes back on after wiping my stomach off. Then I went to the sink and lightly soaped and watered the area and washed my hands up. I was so relieved nothing got on my clothes other than the Bella band and nothing got the bathroom dirty either.

I noticed though, and this is my point: my oldest and I were seriously at odds that day, but when I needed help, she was as fast or faster than anyone else to have her hand with a solution for me held out. (Waiting patiently, containing the youngest child if necessary, and handing me paper towels or toilet tissue under the stall walls) I learned that day my children only care about our successful movement through the community; they are fine if we have to stop to sort me out in the process. That is actually very heartwarming as a mom who has felt like no one has really cared about taking care of ME in turn. That's irrefutable evidence that without hesitation or thought to complain, my kids have it in them to care for others, including their mom.

And by the way, I thanked my oldest for helping me even in the middle of a fight and then informed her that that didn't mean we were done. By the end of the day, she'd got the message loud and clear, and now all I have to do is repeat something she said in the same tone she said it in, and she restates it in a more social tone, understanding immediately that she'd disrespected HER backup and that isn't going to be tolerated anymore.

I'm so proud of my kids, of who they are. And I wear a cap now everywhere I go, I'm done risking going bare!

Thanks for sharing this beautiful story, Patri.

Words of Encouragement from Ostomy Advocates I Hollister