19 and Seeking Peers with Similar Experiences

I am 19. I've had a bag since I was 3 days old, and I've never met anyone my age with one. What's the best way to meet people my age with a bag?
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Hi there, I'm 22 and I've only had my bag since last year. Like you, I'd like to meet people my own age but am having some trouble! I went to my local support group and the next youngest person was about 40! But I would say try and see if there are any local support groups around near where you live; it might be worth going to one and there might be some younger people at yours! If not, then you still get to talk to other people who have a bag and, seeing as you've had yours for so long, might be able to offer them some help.
If all else fails, you can always come on here and talk to people!

Sophie x

I'd probably be one of those 40-year-olds if I ever went to my local support group. Next month will be 3.5 years with my colo.

hi sinfulsot, that wasnt meant to be offensive to older people so im sorry if it came across that way!! I just meant there wasnt anyone my age!! x

Hey Sin, I'd be one of those "over 50's" in a group. I do understand the younger ones wanting to meet people their own age. I was one of the youngest in my first group too and I was 35 when I got my ostomy. I would like to say this to the young people: we older folks do have a lot to offer unless it's a date you want, then you're shit out of luck with us....lol.  Good luck.

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How to Manage Emotions with LeeAnne Hayden | Hollister

Ha ha, I wasn't looking for a date! And I did enjoy talking to other people with an ostomy, but older people obviously have a different view of it all than someone my age. It would be nice to meet someone of my age face to face rather than just on the internet, but I can't seem to find anyone in my area!

Well, Sophie, don't give up and try to go to support groups within your area. There are other sites for meeting folks too. Here are just two to name a few:

http://www.ostomyland.org/ostomyboardipb/index.php?

https://www.ostomy.org/forum/index.php

Hi Luke, if you go to uoaa.org, they have a young adults section. You might be able to find other young ostomates there. Good luck.

I do hope you find some other young adults to talk with and meet. I was joking about the date. Good luck Sophie. Take care, Gail....firedup

Good luck to you as well Lukeeo. I've talked with quite a few younger people on this site. I hope you get to meet some of them. Take care.

None taken. I should have expanded on my own expectations to be the youngest in my group as well, were I to attend a support group near me. I didn't have to face an ostomy in my 20s, but I can imagine what it would be like at that age and seeing folks 25+ years older for "peer support".

Now I am "middle-aged", so it's a lot more relative. As in how younger or older so-and-so is. Then there is always the noob/vet factor...

I am so sorry.
It just never occurred to me that someone your age would even have this problem. Although I have heard of those who had "the bag" since childhood, I never gave a thought to them not being able to communicate with someone their own age. Now I understand your issue and empathize with you. Don't despair though, as I am sure there are souls here for you to communicate with. They may just be too shy. But now that you have brought the subject up, others may post. I hope so, I know that us "old codgers" don't sometimes communicate with the younger folk too well and I am sorry for that. Hang in there and good luck.

Jack

Hi, I have heard that it's hard to find young people in the support group. In NY, the president of the group said that it's because if a young person comes once, they won't return. Then the next week another young person comes in. I agree, it's so important to find a young person's support group. I'll be at the UOAA next month. I'll try to round up as many young ones as I can, and maybe we can start a support group for 15-25. Does that sound good?

Hi Mara, that sounds like a good, worthwhile thing to do, but Lukeeo and I are in England! Ha ha. I've been thinking for a while about talking to my stoma nurse about trying to start up a group for younger people in my area, so I might have to stop being lazy and do it! x

[quote="Sophie96"]Hi Mara, that sounds like a good, worthwhile thing to do, but me and lukeeo are in England! Ha ha. I've been thinking for a while about talking to my stoma nurse about trying to start up a group for younger people in my area, so I might have to stop being lazy and do it! x[/quote]






There are support groups in the UK for younger people. I can't put any links on here; they will be removed. Your stoma nurse should be able to give you them, or if you search on Google. I had mine when I was 19. There was no internet in those days, lol. I went to a support group and was the youngest one there by a long way. Someone asked me if I was an ostomist. Me, being me, lol, turned around and said, "Nah, I'm a bag man." They all turned around and looked at me in horror. LMSUAO.

Nice.

Hello everyone

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My son Grifin is having major down times. He is not a happy boy, at the age of 10. I would nearly call him depressed. He wants to fit in with classmates but just can't seem to do it. He is now saying, "I want to be normal, Mum. 'Why do I have to have a bag?', it's not fair Mum." It breaks my heart, but we had to because he was so sick since birth. He has no nerves in his large intestine, so no nerves meant no muscle to push the poo out. He is at the age where he does not care if his bag is coming off.

He won't check to see when going to the toilet.

He will pretend he's washed his hands after emptying his bag.

He will cry and say, "I can't," if I lay out the stuff he needs to do his bag, and then in the end, I cave in and help him.

He gets exhausted very easily.

He does not know when he is hungry; we try to give him snacks every 2 hrs.

He is not doing very well at school and has just given up. I can't get him to read or write.





Help, what do I do?

His comment this morning was, "I'm just stupid with a bag and I'm the only one around here with one, and everyone else can read and write and I suck!"

He is being really physical towards me and verbal (yelling and shouting)! He seems really angry at himself.

It was supposed to be major low times, sorry
Help me, Griffin's mum
Griffin is 9, not 10. Oh, what a long day
Please help
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Dragon, I think any pre-adolescent with an ostomy would have a difficult time coping with his or her situation as body image is so important. I think he would benefit greatly from knowing that there are many young people all over the world dealing successfully with the same issue. You will find some of their testimonials on this website. I have also seen some great personal presentations by young people on Youtube. Your son wants to "fit in" and this is necessary for his development. If he can have some exposure to other young folks with ostomies, he might have a smoother journey into adulthood. Best wishes.



  PB

Irrigation, that's the answer.

 

Hi Griffin's Mum,

Nine is not an easy age for any young person. There are many support groups in my area for folks with a bag. Have you searched for any that you could go to? Do you still keep in contact with the doctor's office? What do they say? I think BK has a good solution, but you would need to get Griffin prepared, and he needs to understand completely what irrigation is about. I also agree with Prime because if he met boys about his age, he might learn how important his stoma is and why he has it. He would also learn that he can do EVERYTHING a "normal" boy can do. I sure hope you can find a group for him very soon so he doesn't have to feel so sad.

I will keep you both in my prayers.

http://www.australianstoma.com.au/index.php/about-us/support-groups

 

https://www.facebook.com/AOSGP/

 

http://www.healthpoint.co.nz/national-patient-support-groups/national-patient-support-group/federation-of-new-zealand-ostomy-societies/

 

http://www.ostomycanterbury.org.nz/