What Are You Made Of?

We're all here for one reason and one reason only - we either have or know someone very near and dear who has an ostomy.  So I want to ask you - what are you made of?

I like to think I'm a young woman, lol - I was 35 when I got my ileostomy and I'm 36 now - and unlike many, I did not have time to prepare for mine; it was done in an emergency to save my life.  I didn't know what would be done to me; I woke up like this.  Had I gone even eight hours (maybe less) than I did without medical intervention, I would not be posting this, because I'd have been long dead.  Because of my age, maybe I'm quoting a band that most won't be familiar with, but I always think of US when I hear this song - US who have fought IBD, who have fought cancer, who have fought other horrible and unimaginable intestinal disease - it's a song by Muse called "Uprising."  The chorus goes, "They will not force us....they will stop degrading us....they will not control us....we will be victorious..." And I think, NO.  I will NOT be forced into giving up.  I will NOT be degraded into thinking I'm less of a human being because I have a freakin' bag.  I WILL NOT be controlled by IBD.  I WILL WIN over it.  I know something about myself that not many people get the luxury of knowing, and so do all reading this.  If I have to fight for my life, I CAN.   And more importantly, I CAN WIN.

They say, do not be ashamed of scars.  Scars are proof that you were stronger than whatever tried to kill you.  I wear my scars proudly; if anyone asks I tell them exactly how I got them.  People who lose limbs to a drunk driver or in combat are not ashamed, why should we be?  I lost my intestine in battle; yes I am a warrior.  Yes I do have battle scars.  Yes I WAS stronger than what tried to kill me.  It brings to mind that old childhood classic "The Wizard of Oz" and the lion saying, "Courage."  I AM a lion, and so are all of you.  What am I made of?  Courage.  And so are the rest of you, even if you don't feel it yet.  

I work 40 hours a week, I have three children from ages 16 to 5, I go out, I date, I do whatever I please.  YES I have an ostomy.  YES sometimes it sucks and we're free to say so.  But I am a LION and I am made of COURAGE.  I will keep moving forward until this B.S. disease kills me.  I WILL NOT be forced to live my life in a corner.  I WILL NOT be degraded into thinking I'm less of a human being because of a stupid little plastic bag.  I WILL NOT be controlled by my ostomy or my disease.  THIS is my victory.  I AM A F*CKING FIGHTER.  And if you are alive to read this, SO ARE YOU.  

So I ask you again, what are you made of???

Wonderful post, attitude is everything in life.

Excellent outlook and three kids to boot!

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

Good for you Triple MMM.

VJ.

You said it -- keep on trucking with your attitude as it will bring strength to others 
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Loved your article... Would like to post it to members of our support group. May I have your permission?  It will certainly inspire many ostomates!

Staying Hydrated with an Ostomy with LeeAnne Hayden | Hollister

Thank you all for the nice comments :) I found there are a lot of single mothers and ostomates out there, and we definitely just gotta keep on truckin'! :-)

Absolutely, ostomyvisitor, if you think it would help other people, feel free to share it. It was people who had that kind of outlook themselves that helped inspire me too, so it's all about paying it forward! It's a good thing to remember when you're feeling down :-)

Iron-----Good job, thanks.

Right on!  :-)

You are one inspiring lady. Thanks for sharing, and keep on truckin'.

For me, what I am, is "My same old self." Sure, I went through the period early on where I would be sitting on the toilet, emptying, and say to myself, "What the hell happened to me?" But now, 5 years on, I never feel that way anymore. Just like you, I do it all and really feel no restrictions. I'm older than you and have a loving, accepting wife of 35 years, so I don't face the challenge of worrying about what someone who is a romantic interest might think. I find that people in general don't really care, and if you find a guy who is antsy about it, dump him - he doesn't deserve someone as together as you. There are plenty of wonderful people. It might not be very evident at times, but believe it or not, there are actually guys out there who are not shallow. Usually, it takes us guys a long time to mature, but eventually, a lot of us do get there.

WOW, 35 years?? That's awesome! Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Al :-)

For me, this goes without saying. But it's good to remind others of this.    Kevin

All I really want to say is snips, snails & puppy dog tails.

This makes me think of one of those email forwards that are inspiring in their own way. It might have even been one of those emails that if I didn't forward it to at least 10 friends, something horrible would or wouldn't happen, depending.

The moral of the story was how to deal with adversity. Hot water represents life/adversity, and how you deal with it is represented by carrots, eggs & coffee. When you boil carrots, the raw sturdy roots become soft and flimsy. When you boil eggs, they congeal. But when you boil coffee, it changes the water as opposed to being changed by it.

So, you can let life make you soft like boiled carrots, hard like boiled eggs, or a part of you like a delicious cup of coffee. And homemade, none of that crack-infused Dunkin Donuts swill...

Hi Miss Megan,

I am at least 67 years older than you and like to think I have a young spirit. Like you, I did not have a lot of time to make decisions. I hemorrhaged on Thanksgiving Day 2013. To be honest, I had been ignoring signs. Anyway, I found out I had rectal cancer with a good-sized tumor. So we were off to the races: radiation, chemo, then surgery. I was told by my amazing surgeon he would do his best to get a temporary colostomy, but it might not be possible. I told him, "You can gut and filet me, just keep me around." When I woke up and the bag was on the left, I knew this was for life. LIFE being the most important part. When I was recovering at the hospital, a stoma nurse told me, "You know, Farrah Fawcett had the same cancer as you but would not have the surgery." I thought how foolish and selfish that was. Like you, my pouch does not define me or hold me back. I am heading to Europe for a month with my kids, grandkids, and husband. All my rocks. My four-year-old granddaughter recently saw Rosie, as I call my stoma, and asked about it. I kept it short and sweet; her reply was "OK." And it is, and so am I. Attitude, I believe, is everything, no matter what the situation. Well, that is it. I am new to this site but look forward to getting to know my fellow pouchers.

Hi MissMegan, What a great, inspiring post. What am I made of, you ask? I know that I had the determination to move forward with this ostomy. It really wasn't easy in the beginning, getting used to the new way, but I did it... one day at a time. And, we did it together. Each post that I read on this site gives me a little more strength. No, I did not want an ostomy and I fought the good fight of medicine, pills, and treatments, lost and here I am. Our scars are the battle wounds we incurred in order to live another precious day. We are victorious!

Yes, I agree, many people do not understand the painful journey to gaining an ostomy and I wish they did. Education is needed but how can we pass along the information to people who don't need surgery? I did not understand what an ostomy was until I was told that I needed to get one. Maybe one day a movie will be made about life with an ostomy. Living is what it is all about...another day, another adventure, more memories, and seizing the moment. I had a beautiful day today celebrating my great nephew's 13th birthday. He loved the gift that my husband and I gave to him. The excited look on his face when he opened our gift was a priceless gift to me. Our present was some sort of model/rocket with a parachute...my husband picked it out in the hobby shop. I am not as creative and would have bought clothes.

Thank you everyone for sharing your strength, courage, and hope. BTW...the Lion is my favorite character in the Wizard of Oz because courage was always there waiting to be found and utilized. LH

Hi MissMegan, around here it's called SISU, which is a Finnish term for fortitude. I've had my ileo for 30 some years, and it's been an eventful time, but the key is I am still here, and without the ileo, I wouldn't have gotten to see my oldest daughter get married or both my daughters getting their degrees.

MissMegan, I would up vote you if they had up votes on this site :-) Great attitude, good for you!

Miss Megan, I am a new ostomate at 73 years old, but there is not a single part of my body that is worth my life. I admire and respect you for your courage and your attitude. I followed other posts where you were not so warmly received and that entire chain has something wrong in it. Perhaps the people involved are so emotionally bound that they cannot read objectively. Whatever, you are better off of that chain and going forward, as you are now. If you don't mind, I am going to follow your posts to see what else I might learn from you.

Hi MissMeganM,

I am aware that I'm sort of reviving an old post, but there are plenty of similarities between what you've been through and what I've been through. I was also told the day after my surgery by my parents that the surgeon said that without surgery then and there I wouldn't have made it through the night. I was so pumped up on blood, platelets, immunosuppressants, hydrocortisone, and infliximab that I apparently wouldn't have felt a thing, I simply wouldn't have woken up. Though I felt the best I had felt in a long time, my colon was almost 8cm in diameter, and so it was on the brink of perforating.
I only had colitis for about three weeks before being taken into hospital on the orders of a gastroenterologist whom I had never met at the time, but turned out to a legendary doctor.
Being diagnosed with an incurable disease with no known cause to then have a major organ removed a week later is not what the typical 17 year old lad would consider to be ideal. Yesterday was the 6 month anniversary of my surgery, and also my dad's birthday, so I had pretty mixed feelings throughout the day. I'm not trying to sound like "poor me". I'm sure everyone here knows exactly how I feel.

Your question brings up an interesting point. People tell me that I've handled this in an amazing way, but I disagree. You never know what you're made of until you come face to face with such a testing situation, and this has certainly tested my mettle over the last 6 months. I think anyone is capable of working through something like this, but as I said you just don't know until it happens. It's certainly not easy, and already being a pretty quiet guy it often restricts me socially because I get quite self-conscious about the bag when I'm around people, especially people that don't know that I have it.

Thanks for such a interesting post, it really brought up some good points. It was also great to see the input of everyone else in the comments.

Hamish