Seeking Connection: Living with an Ileostomy and Moving Forward

I have had an ileostomy since 2007. I was married, but my ex could not really deal with my medical issues. She divorced me several years ago and was able to get the house. I am not going to go into that issue as I am not upset about it. (Actually, kind of glad) I am 60 years old and now live in Denton, Texas, which is just north of Dallas. I would really like to meet others in my area, but would also like to talk with anyone wherever they are. As most of us, I have had my ups and downs with my situation, but life must go on. If you are interested in a chat, whether you are about to have the surgery or are a long-timer, feel free to contact me.

Thanks,

Don

My husband also could not deal with my urostomy. He said living with me and my medical issues made him gag. I left him to live with his mother in California. He found himself a girlfriend who, sad to say, was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Now he looks after her while she has chemo. He is a very unhappy man. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, but I believe in karma. Then I moved to England where I was born. Not too bad though, the National Health Service pays for all my supplies. I hate the weather here; I like the heat in CA.

Hi there. I've had my ostomy for 20 years now. My first marriage failed because of my ostomy. He said he could handle it and it would not change things between us. News flash... it did. Our marriage was never the same again. The intimacy was gone. I am 45 years old and still have life in me. I live life as full as I can and thank God for each new day. I live in northeast Texas and would love to chat with you if you would like.

DeColores!

Wanda

It is sad that they were not supportive of you both.

I had a girlfriend for a while while I had my ileostomy; it did not work out for other reasons, but she at least was supportive, and having a ileostomy did not seem to bother her.

I just worry the cancer may return.

My last CT scan (yesterday) looked good, and my CEA blood test was good, at 3.2.

I still worry though.

I have PN pretty bad from the chemo, and am facing a SS review, and at my age and what I have been through, I don't think I should have to go back to work.

There is no motivation to go back to that job anyway.

Hi Don,

I went back and read your earlier posts. I'm Marsha, and I've had my ileostomy (the old-fashioned kind) since I was 15, and that was more than 50 years ago. I met my husband through the local ostomy association, and although we both had an ostomy, it didn't help keep our marriage together. Our two sons developed inflammatory bowel disease (one with Crohn's, the other with UC), so that put added stress on our family dynamics. "He" always had to be the sickest one... But we stayed together for 24+ years, until I finally filed for divorce. We were divorced for more than 20 years, and he recently died from all the complications that can occur after years of fighting off illness. (Diabetes, kidney disease, dialysis, etc).

It took me a while, but I restarted my life, dating some, but never really finding that one special guy. So I continued to work until I couldn't, developed really good friendships, and am active in my community. I didn't find this site until a few years ago, but have found it very interesting and very helpful.

So if you would like to chat... feel free to write. I'd love to hear from you...

BTW, I love to travel, and have done so extensively. Although I've been to Texas a few times, I never got to see as much as I would have liked to see in and around San Antone, Dallas & Houston...

Marsha

Getting Support in the Ostomy Community with LeeAnne Hayden | Hollister

Hello from Maine. As you are close to US 82, I used to live off 82, in Texarkana. I woke up with my ostomy in March of 2018. I researched as much as possible, in case I had it. I learned to adapt to having this. There is nothing to be embarrassed about. Some folks have missing limbs, and they typically try not to hide their prosthetic appliance. If you have a prosthesis, flaunt it, baby!