Years ago, well a few years after I started driving trucks (I was a younger man then), I had a mate who worked with me and we often ended up traveling together to Perth, Darwin, or wherever. Big Mal had a colostomy and he was one of the funniest blokes I ever met.
One trip, we were heading out of Port Augusta in the north of South Australia heading to Perth when he called me up on the CB and says, "Ay mate, watch this." So I pulled out a little bit and saw a caravan coming towards us. From out of the cab of his truck goes flying a full bag of smellies and whack, it lands on the windscreen of the car towing the van. Ole mate in the van pulls up, Mal came to a screeching halt and I pulled in behind him. Mal runs over and says to the old couple, "Jesus, I saw that, what the hell happened?" Poor ole bloke in the van looks at Mal totally stunned and says, "I don't know mate, but it must have been a f***ing big bird to leave that mess." The bloke got out of his car and walks around the front to look and says, "Whatever it was eating, bloody stinks too."
Poor Mal nearly died on the spot trying not to laugh. It's always been a funny point whenever I think about it; I still get the chuckles.
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Words of Encouragement from Ostomy Advocates I Hollister
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That reminds me of a story Once upon a time, there were some cavemen who wanted to cross a valley. Every time they came out of the cave, a floo bird would shit on their shoulder. The caveman would wipe it off, and the floo bird would swoop down and eat the caveman. One caveman, watching this (I think his name was Steve), ran out of the cave. The floo bird shit on his shoulder, he did nothing, and the floo bird flew away and left him alone! Know the moral of the story?
EDDIE
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Nope Eddie, that's a fair dinkum story. The same bloke saw a truck parked up, driven by a bloke he hated, so he conveniently left a full bag under the mattress in the sleeper. It took weeks for the bloke to find it. Trouble is, at that time Mal was the only bloke known to have a bag on. So eventually, he copped a flogging from this bloke. Poor Mal.
Hey Steve, you didn't ask what the moral of the Floo Bird story was.
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I'm still not real sure about that story of yours!
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Eddie
Oh Eddie, what's the moral of the foo bird story, mate? And I'm fair dinkum; it happened.
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If the foo sh*ts, wear it (I probably misspelled Foo or Floo, who knows? Anyway, it would have been funny. Hee! Hee!) Have a good one!
eddie
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