Feeling normal after six weeks - is this normal?

After 10 months of having my life in total upheaval, I dare say I am starting to feel more like myself. Granted, 3 lengthy hospitalizations followed by a catheter and OxyContin for four months before my surgery did a number on me... and I still think it's affecting me mentally. I just cringe when I look back... and then I tell myself to stop looking back. Sometimes I can't help it.

Spending the month of March leaking like a White House intern didn't help, but I got through it. Now I am in the stress testing phase for pouches so I can see what will be best when I am back to work.

I think I am just waiting for that "other shoe" to drop like it did most of last year. Am I crazy? Do I need intensive psychotherapy? Or should I just breathe and enjoy sitting in the sun?

By the way, I am seeing a therapist, who has been very concerned about my well-being during this time...

Le sigh...

Urostomy - 3/6/17

Hello MAssMikMouse.

Thanks for your interesting post and for sharing your thoughts so that it gives us the opportunity of pondering and commenting upon them.

When I read your post, it reminded me that there is a difference between 'normal' and 'natural' .  It is a natural instinct to look back, which is probably why you say you can't help it. However, you are quite right to imply that looking back is not necessarily conducive to mental wellbeing, unless it is part of a therapeutic intervention.

Some fortunate  people recover from the traumas of life by enjoying sitting in the sun, relaxing and letting the natural healing processes take their course. However, there are many more (which makes it relatively 'normal') who like to think they can get better by actively doing something about their situation.

Sometimes these artificial ways work and sometimes they are just sticking plasters that make it look as if you are doing something whilst the natural healing processes carry on anyway.

You don't say what sort of therapist you are seeing but most will listen empathetically to what you have to say and respond accordingly. Psychologically this is usually a great help in the process of coming to terms with the trauma. I only have slight reservations about therapists who make their living doing this and that is, there is a 'natural' tendency for human beings to look out for their own interests in any situation, which begs the question as to whether they have a vested interest in their clients getting better or maintaining the status quo so that they need the therapist indefinitely.

Many people use their pets in the same therapeutic way, feeling that the pets empathetically listen to their conversations even if they are rants about all the ills of society. Because so many people do this, it can be described as 'normal' - which technically means you are not 'crazy'.

Anyway, thank you again for stimulating my dwindling brain cells and I hope whatever you do will help you to cope with your life in future.

Best wishes

Bill   

Hi there again!

I am currently seeing a social worker, who has been great. Now with this other phase of my healing, I may need to switch. I talked to him today and just happened to have an appointment with my GP this afternoon, so we shall see.

I also have long conversations with my tuxedo cat, who talks back at me. It's mainly about food, but I have seen that concerned look in his eyes more often than not. It's those cues that really make me pause and look at what I am doing... or not doing...

I also think going back to work and having a routine will help. That should happen in a few weeks.

Thank you so much for your thoughts. Just knowing I am not alone on my journey provides much comfort. Have a good evening "across the pond"!

It's entirely normal to start feeling normal, and the longer your problems and surgery are in your rearview mirror, the more normal you will feel.

I note a trend in posts from ostomy users - most of the problem ones and poor me issues are immediately after surgery, but most people who have had an ostomy for a while get beyond the issues and find that it does not hinder their lives at all, so be confident that feeling normal is quite normal, and over time your outlook will continue to get better and having an ostomy is no big deal at all.

Hi there MassMikMouse!

Whatever you are going through is your new "normal" process. Besides, who came up with the rules for normal???...lol Each one of us has had a very personal journey through becoming an ostomate. Some more involved than others. I myself spent 6 months with 2 surgeries in the hospital. It has been a long haul back to feeling myself again, but I am pretty much there. Shedding the side effects of all the medications was part of that too.

Through this journey, I became involved with our local Ostomy Support Group here in Fort Worth, Texas, and am now the VP of that group. You might want to try finding a Support Group near you through the UOAA. It can be very helpful being able to share experiences with other ostomates as you are doing here. Plus, they usually will have speakers and product demos related to your needs.

Getting Support in the Ostomy Community with LeeAnne Hayden | Hollister

I'm 6 years with urostomy. Still upsetting sometimes. Horrid infections etc. But my trouble is radiation damage is kind of breaking everything down (mostly the bowel) would you believe?? Too much "nerve damage" but try to get on with a "normal" life. Good luck. xx

Thank you, everyone, for the good advice, thoughts, and vibes. I'm back at work on the 22nd and partly cannot wait. I need to make it RAIN up in here!!

By the way, stress testing completed. I've settled on the Coloplast Sen Sura Mio deep convex pouch. Have backup supplies in my pocketbook and will have another stash at work.

Again, thx for your kindness!

Hi MassMikMouse,

Glad you're heading back to work as I too believe getting back into the swing of things is a great way to move forward and let the past stay in the past. It's a good idea to keep extra supplies in case you need to change. I also keep them with me at work and even in the car. I haven't needed to use them as much as I first thought, so remember to change them up with fresh supplies every month or so, if not sooner. They do tend to get a bit out of shape in the heat of the summer months.

Best wishes

I already have a bag ready for work, along with extra underwear and an extra outfit. I also have extra supplies in my purse, which needs a good cleaning right now. I'm in my car for a 3-mile round trip back and forth to the commuter train, so I don't leave anything in the car except an empty water bottle...

Thank you for your kind words - one more week!

MMM

Well, tomorrow's the day! Good for you. I'm sure since you're well prepared, it will be a great day. Come back and let us know how it went.

Thank you so much!! I expect to be sleeping on my keyboard by 3pm...

Hey MassMikMouse,

How was your week?

Well, I made it through. My coworkers have been so glad I'm back, but they also cast the hairy eyeball if they see me doing too much. Actually, on Monday, my partner noticed it was way past my time to leave, so she came out of her office and stared. Needless to say, I scurried to the door rather quickly!

One thing I did learn is to be more mindful of the bag filling up. I was so used to being hooked up to leg/overnight bags at home that I didn't realize how quickly I fill up (thank you liters of water!) Also, finding clothes which will hide the bag a bit more has been interesting. Thankfully, I have all of my clothes from last year which are now too big. When "Spring" stops being so bipolar in New England, I'll be able to wear my pretty dresses!

Thanks for checking in on me.

Sounds like all went well. You'll get used to how fast your appliance fills up and eat/drink to control it as much as you can. As for the Hairy Eyeball, well that will probably always happen, folks just want to know everything about everyone. I don't like to tell too many though, I like the mystery of things :),

I'm starting another thread.... See my next post to see how much of a hot mess I feel.

MMM