Hi Chris,
This is the kind of decision only you and your doctors can make. Hi, I'm Marsha, and I've had my ileostomy for more than 50 years, since I was a child of 15. After 4 years of living with ulcerative colitis, my parents finally agreed to my having the surgery. I readily accepted it, because it meant that I could go back to regular school, and have a real life. But they left the rectal stump, thinking that someday, I could be "hooked up". The stump never healed and at 19 I had that removed forever ending the hope of a revision. But I was ok with that, because I never wanted to go back to being tied to a bathroom, living in hospitals, taking meds and all kinds of experimental treatments.
My ex-husband had Crohn's disease, and had an ileostomy as well (That's how we met). They never removed his rectum, but a hook up was never in the cards for him. UC only occurs in the large intestine, but Crohn's can occur from the anus to the gullet. So the disease can reoccur anywhere in the digestive tract.
My cousin had familial polyposa?/cancerous polyps in the large intestine (as did her mother). She had a temporary ileostomy when they removed the large intestine, and a few years later, was re-hooked. She couldn't eat without going to the bathroom immediately after. She went about 20x a day...and I'm not exaggerating. Although she lived with it for quite a few years, she ended up with a J pouch (after the removal of the diseased rectum) and when that didn't work, she had to have an ileostomy....again.
As you probably know, Crohn's is unpredictable, so even if you have a successful hook up, and the remaining large intestine absorbs enough of the excess fluid for you to have a reasonable life, the disease can reoccur at any time. I've lived with my ileostomy for all these years and have no regrets. My ex passed away 4 years ago, due to complications from the Crohn's and other conditions: diabetes, kidney disease, heart attack. Despite having the ileostomy, he had ongoing attacks of Crohn's....until he died.
I wish you the best of luck making your decision. Stay in touch. Marsha