We have not even got to the point of discussing possible reversal, although the surgeon originally told me we would possibly be able to do a reversal in 6 months to a year. It's now coming up on 2 years, and still no go. I have had lots of complications since the original surgery, including 2 bouts of peritonitis (the first was the cause of the ostomy to begin with) from a perforated colon due to radiation damage from the original cancer treatment. Different side effects from the chemo, but that's a different story! The perforation just won't heal, and there can be no question of re-connection of the colon as long as that is still there - a quick passage to peritonitis round #3 if that were done! I know the perforation is still there as long as I continue to pass bloody mucus from the rectal stump, and that is ongoing. I had a full colonoscopy through the stoma (all normal) and sigmoidoscopy through the stump (pesky hole), and no sign of disease or any other issues than the perforation, so if that ever heals, we could talk about reconnection. However...
In the meantime, I have learned to manage my ostomy quite well. It really doesn't give me any undue grief or aggravation. After dealing with the chemo bulb and other things, I figure I have it pretty good with just a wafer and pouch! Seriously, I have adjusted my life to accommodate it, and it's no big deal. I have come to accept that I may never have a reversal - both from adverse circumstances and from choice, because I see so many pitfalls from what could go wrong if I do. And at 61, I'm not sure how many major surgeries I have left in me - potentially 2 if things go wrong with reconnection; one to reconnect and one to give me back the ostomy if it goes wrong.
You might wonder why I assume it would go wrong if the perforation finally healed. Actually, the surgeon said that the whole colon stump that is left is pretty friable from the radiation treatment, and a good chance of another perforation down the line, or even problems with the connection site tearing or perforating, or just not healing if they reconnect.
So, my story is not quite like yours, so my decision would be different from yours, but I figured you might take away from it some additional questions to ask your surgeon as you discuss your possibilities. Also remember, talk to at least 2 doctors (including your original oncologist and radiologist), because each specialist has a default position from which they are approaching your case, so it would be helpful to see if they all come to the same or different conclusions and (more important) why they come to the conclusion they do. The train of reasoning is at least as important as the conclusion, so you can come to your own conclusion from the facts involved.
Because, ultimately, this is your body, not theirs, and you will have to live in it, not them. Look at all factors, prioritize them as to which you can live with, and which you can't, and make your own decision, dispassionately, from there.
