About seven years ago, just about every aspect of my life was ostomy related. From the moment I was told an ostomy might be needed until some months down the road I existed as a person afflicted with a colostomy. I feared someone other than my immediate family might find out I had a bag. Ugh! What could be worse? Suppose it filled real fast when I was out with no place to hide and take care of myself. God forbid should it leak in church! Suppose I roll over on it in bed. I was a lesser creature, destined to a life of emotional anguish and physical routines different from most of the rest of the world. I felt like a freak. Then I found folks like you guys here, read your stuff, really “listened” to what you had to say and I began looking at things differently. We know perception is everything and I began to understand how good things were relative to what they could’ve been. So many folks had it so much worse than I did. That didn’t make my discomfort go away but it exposed how fortunate I was to be dealing with my stuff and not their’s. I felt a little guilt, maybe selfishness but quickly forgave myself by understanding I just wasn’t smart enough to fix my feelings. Then, I wonder what smarts have to do with feelings. My perception was warped so my perspective toward my existence was warped.
I learned over the last few years with the help of lots of folks right here at MAO that I could be better at living just by accepting some facts. It is what it is and so what? It’s not the worst thing to happen to a person.
I think everything is, in some way, related to everything else. I just put the ostomy thing in the back seat and drive forward.
Respectfully,
Mike
Hi iMacG5,
It's great to see you sharing your journey here. You'll find that this community is full of supportive folks who truly understand what you're going through. It's amazing how much we can learn from each other.
Your story really resonates with me. I remember feeling the same way about the stigma and the fear of others finding out. It's tough, but like you, I found that changing my perspective made a huge difference. Realizing that it's not the worst thing and that many others face even greater challenges helped me find peace with my situation. It's all about accepting the facts and moving forward, just like you said.
Joining this website was one of the best decisions I've made. The support and understanding here have truly changed my life. I hope you continue to find comfort and strength in this community.
Very inspiring, Mike. I too have found some amazing people on this site who have helped me. After everything you went through, you now have become one of them!
MeetAnOstoMate.org is the only place where people truly understand you. It's because everyone here has an ostomy.
Many come here for advice or to give advice, others have found good friends, and some have even built long-lasting relationships.
Privacy is very important - there are many features only visible to members.
Join our website with 39,505 members. You won't regret it.
I agree with you, Mike. So what, it isn't the worst thing that could happen! We all have our fears and emotional issues, but when we look around, it seems there are more and more folks who have more complicated and scary issues than an ostomy. If we reach out and take the time to understand that our world shouldn't revolve around ourselves, we can see much clearer.
Learn what you need to know to help you recover fast, and avoid some common food issues.
Mike,
I too agree! I have found some great friends on this site that have coached me through irrigating i.e. freedom! I too, as all of us do, had that time of feeling trapped in a new world with nowhere to turn. Luckily it passed very quickly for me. My motto is always "It is what it is" and I just had to apply it to this new life! Glad you have adjusted your thinking and are moving forward! Looking forward to having many conversations with you and my friends here!
Puppyluv
Hello Mike. Thanks for a very well composed and informative post which I really enjoyed and entirely agree with. My own period of angst was the years of faecal incontinence, before I opted for the surgery and a stoma. I had already experienced all the potentially embarrassing aspects, so I was pleased to be able to manage the problem from the front, rather than the inaccesible rear/bottom. It's been relatively all good since then.
As you point out, most of it is all about perspectives and attitudes. Stay positive!
Best wishes
Bill
Words of Encouragement from Ostomy Advocates I Hollister
It's the folks like you who make this such a special community. Thanks WNL, Mrs.A, Puppy and Bill for being who you are for so many of us to rely on.
Sincerely,
Mike
Mike.... Thanks for being so honest. I sometimes still get those feelings, and have to snap out of it. There are so.... many in worse conditions than us. I'm so thankful to have found the site, for I was fortunately enough to come in contact with some good people. Such as yourself!!
Angel