I have an ileostomy and have found that holding my left arm across my tummy (quite casually) then holding the flat of my left hand quite firmly across my stoma can subdue the sounds somewhat.
I have developed an "annoying" habit over the years of coughing or talking garbage out of the blue when my stoma is having a go. Coughing or talking inappropriate gobbledygook is even a more obvious "cover up".
I list below what I feel the worst times for your stoma to "shout out loud" (I have been through all of these situations - most unfortunately and embarrassingly!!).
1. When in intimate moments and your stoma thinks "yeah...this is a great time to shout off". It's a great passion killer, believe me, especially if you are in a new relationship!! How embarrassing - and I think the worst time. Good tip - play loud music (on repeat play, 'cause as soon as the music stops, the stoma will start "singing") Pink Floyd works well.
2. A small meeting room, and you are in a group, all sitting around in complete silence, reading the agenda or whatever.
3. At a meal, where it really has a go - hopefully, loud conversation or music can cover it. "Arm across tummy" time for me.
4. In a church. The stoma can be most disrespectful in respectable places.
5. At a funeral. Not good sounds to give someone (a loved one for example) a dignified goodbye.
6. Watching a sad film with your partner. I've been sobbing at a sad part - and my stoma joins in with "putt putts" and "rasps" How embarrassing!!
7. When you walk into a toilet - and someone is waiting right outside the door - I know it's the right place - but embarrassing on the walk out!! Plus - the smell!!
There are other situations that you guys and gals have mentioned - and they give me a smile - 'cause I have been through those situations as well.
Can you get a "SILENCER" for a stoma? The inventor of one could be a millionaire overnight!!