Facing My Fears: Upcoming Medical Procedures with Crohn's Disease

Doe's right. There's a real community of kindred spirits here; and, underneath everything, we come here for fellowship and inspiration. I am constantly amazed and gratified to see so many of us looking past the present moment and circumstances for some broader perspective.

Well, I see fear as an absolutely essential survival skill. Without fear, we would be subject to all sorts of things that go bump in the night. Fear is vital, however; but it's not enough. What's also needed is trust. Imagine a world without trust. How could you possible drive a car unless you believed oncoming traffic will stay in their lane? How can you possibly undergo a colonoscopy unless you truly believed your doctor was competent?

People who can effectively balance these two elements have more satisfying experiences with life.

   PB      


Yes, it's all about finding a broader perspective in the face of having to stare down some pretty awful things.  It IS a survival skill, and maybe mine is disproportionate to what I'll be having done......but trust is hard for me to have in ANY medical professional because I put my trust in so many only to almost die because they all screwed up - every single one of them.  

I'm taking a risk and hoping I can trust this new one.....I've had her for about 8 months and she SEEMS competent and trustworthy.  But so did the others.  I hope I'm not wrong.

Hi Miss Megan, just read your story and relived my fear in my mind that I went through after 17 years of the UC nightmare. You will get through it again as you did last time. Just picture your children's faces as you go in and keep that thing we call faith close. I read your story to my cat (he listened), my sons and I have a good feeling about this time for you.
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I find it helpful to remember that I am not my fear. That fear is really the stranger here. I am not my body. I turn it all over into higher hands that are in charge of everything.
Lisbett

Hello Miss MeganM. Thank you for your post and thank's to everyone who have replied. I have composed a number of verses on fear and related sentiments over the years and I will share one of these with you below. However, as soon as I get a bit of time I would like to try to focus on the subject as it specifically relates to ostomates. This forum has provided such a wealth of material that I feel a a little overwhelmed and mildly afraid that I will not be able to do it justice.  However that has never stopped me ploughing ahead with verses in the past and I doubt that it will stop me now./  When and if I feel happy with my efforts I'll post it in my blog - Until then - as the saying goes --- " here's one I did earlier!'



FEAR 2.



I do not think it ever paid.

For anyone to be afraid.

For fear is uninspiring.

And it can be so tiring.



When fear in you habituates.

It disturbs and agitates.

And although it’s out of site.

It’s a pulsating parasite.



If you’re afraid of going out.

Fear might make you creep about.

Fear can also be traumatic.

And make you even more erratic.



Fear can mean you’re not included

And it can leave you looking stupid.

Over the years it has been shown.

People fear what is not known.



So they might fear whatever’s new.

Or things just hidden from their view.

It’s like this with the fear of dark.

Or with something like a shark.



You might fear a grizzly bear.

And pretty soon get out of there.

So with a bit of fear you could.

Stay alive and this is good.



Fear anticipates disaster.

It’s a pretty good forecaster.

And if fear’s the best you had.

It may not always be so bad.



Sometimes fear helps you survive.

And fear may well keep you alive.

So don’t use fear destructively.

But do use it constructively.



                                                B. Withers 2012

That's great, Bill!!! Maybe you could throw a line into your new one about fears being unfounded - mine were. My scopes went fine, I have no extra holes (lol), and the findings were good news
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Huge thank you to everyone on here who took their time to reassure me and commiserate with me... such awesome people, love to you all.

Stories of Living Life to the Fullest from Ostomy Advocates I Hollister

Thanks Miss MeganM. Great to hear that your experience worked out in the end. George Bernard Shaw (who lived just down the road from me!) once said something along the lines of:- "90 percent of everything I ever worried about -- never happened".  It is my theory that fears are never really 'unfounded' - they are founded on the information we have at any particular time. It may well subsequently turn out that the results are not what we expected but the fear is very real and pertinent at the time that we feel it.

I have in fact completed a poem on the subject based on your post, but at present I'm not happy with the quality so would not want to share it with others until I've knocked it about a bit.

Best wishes Bill

Hello Miss MeganM. I'm not entirely happy with the verse on fear for ostomates but it's a bit like painting a picture. The more I look at it the more I want to change it.   There comes a point when we have to just put it down and move on.  So here it is!------------------------



FEAR FOR OSTOMATES.



When once the seeds of fear are sown.

then they are fed by the unknown.

Undoubtedly our fears will grow

from out of things we do not know.



It’s likely we’ll anticipate

unpleasant outcomes as our fate.

For even when things do go right

a stoma then becomes our plight.



Us ostomates have for so long

witnessed so many things go wrong.

It’s harder to stay positive

if all around seems negative.



When the bad things we see and learn

then fan the fires of deep concern.

And medical incompetence

can not engender confidence.



Bad news is often in a hurry

to feed our fears and inner worry.

I’ve read story upon story

and they’re rarely hunky-dory.



The media acts like a filter

knocking perspectives out of kilter.

What we discern is the bad news

and this in turn affects our views.



Maybe if everything goes right

there’s not the need to speak or write.

But surely we’ve the right to fear

when operations loom quite near.



Sometimes it’s best if we don’t know

so we can rest and let it go.

When our past fears are dissipated

at last we’ll feel emancipated.



                                                B. Withers 2013

Love it Bill!  

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Hello MissMeganM.

Thanks for your feedback - It's especially welcome with those verses like this one, where I keep looking to improve it but no matter how hard I think about it, it doesn't seem to want to change.

Best wishes  

Bill