I'm pretty down these days. I've had my colostomy since 1.21.11 as a result of emergency sepsis surgery from a hysterectomy gone bad. Two abdominal surgeries in one week and the sepsis set me back for months. I'm still in chronic pain for a variety of reasons. My colostomy reversal was supposed to be today, but it got canceled due to a bunch of complications that just got discovered. Now I have to start all over with a new surgeon and will most likely have two surgeries instead of one more. I've been an herbalist for 20 something years and have for the most part avoided needing the MD system of medicine. But now I have more doctors than I've had my whole life, and I seem to have to do so much work to get them to listen to me or do the right thing for my case, yet I'm the sick one. I feel like the dominant medical system is not a good fit for me, but when it comes to surgery, obviously it's the only option. My naturopath says you gotta play by their rules when you are in their house, you know? I understand that, but the MD system is what maimed me to begin with, and now I seem to have a stream of complications that I most likely wouldn't have had if they hadn't messed me up from the first surgery. I just started to trust my last surgeon, but in retrospect, I think he was lying to me, maybe skirting the truth, about some things, but he's gone now anyway as my complications are over his head and he referred me. And I'm supposed to trust these people to open me up AGAIN. It's just really frustrating and scary. My husband has developed an ulcer and our savings are slipping away. When will it get better?
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