So I just checked, and it's been about a month since my last blog! And what a month it's been! I mean, really!
In the world of me, I would say that 2012 couldn't have started off any better. And to quote the title of the blog, I really have discovered that love overcomes everything.
When I first became a permanent ostomate, it was a couple of weeks after my ex dumped me and left me to handle everything alone (apart from my family who were amazing, really and truly). As soon as I had the operation, although I was out of physical pain, I didn't know if I would cope with the emotional side of things. I found myself pretty lucky though because I have the two best friends anyone could ask for, and I love them both more than anything, not to mention my amazing family who pulled me through everything day after day. However, I did sometimes feel like something was missing, some kind of emotional support I couldn't get from my family or friends.
I think eventually I gained the courage to get myself through it, and pushed through, basically starting my teenage life again...only this time not wasting any days and living life how I wanted to. I wasn't going to miss out on anything for anyone, and as soon as I got myself into that mentality, things started falling into place.
To this date, I have settled into college and made a couple of new friends who I already love to pieces. At the moment, the college work is going okay, but sometimes I feel like I probably don't study enough... My amazing friends have grown closer to me as we've had more time to go out and spend together, so I feel like I'm catching up on most of the things I missed out on when I was in the hospital. My family also feels a lot closer, even though my older sister is moving out, it feels like the whole experience changed everyone and now we're much more of a family unit and have less arguing (sometimes, lol). I've got myself a part-time job until I feel strong enough to go to college all week and work nights and weekends, but for now, it's a little extra cash and it's building my confidence all over again.
And finally, the big news... I've found myself a boyfriend!
From the moment we started talking, I knew there was something special about him, and really early on I told him about my bag. At first, he didn't know what it was, but I explained everything. Then AFTER that, he asked me on a date! (I think it's amazing he was still interested after I'd told him everything) so we went on a date and I knew the minute I saw him I would love him. I knew from before the date even! I spent the whole day getting ready and had butterflies all day before I met him, and I'd never had that before. After our first date, he admitted to me that he really liked me and wanted to see me again, so I invited him round to my house. This time, the topic of my bag came up and he said he still didn't really understand it, so I showed him. I was so nervous about it because I showed him a clean, unused bag first, so now he would see what it looks like on, but he wasn't fazed. Not in the slightest! I was so relieved, and when I walked him to his car when he was leaving, he asked me to be his girlfriend right there. Well, I've never felt this way about anyone before, so I said YES, of course!
That was only 9 days ago and I really feel like I could never get enough of him. Just thinking about him and being with him brings the biggest smile to my face, and I feel truly at peace when I'm with him. Even my best friend, who I've known for 14 years, has told me that she's never seen me this happy. When I think about seeing him next or when I wake up in the morning of a day that I'm seeing him, I get butterflies and can't sleep. I'm seeing him tomorrow and I can't sleep right now because I'm so excited to just hold him again.
I know this blog is a bit long-winded, me waffling on about how happy I am, but I'm not writing it to brag about anything, or make anyone feel lonely, I am really writing to prove that no matter how old you are, you will always find true love. I mean, if a 20-year-old guy can accept it, then any other person can. Just don't give up on yourself. As soon as you meet that one person, you'll know whether you want to spend the rest of your life with them, and although I am very young, I definitely feel that way right now. Having a bag hasn't stopped me from doing anything at all, and it's not stopping me from finding love.
It just detects the jerks earlier on, but if you have faith and hold out, the perfect person will cross your path and accept you and your bag. After all, if it weren't for the beautiful bag, a lot of us wouldn't be here right now, so they should be thanking it for saving our lives, not resenting it for being there.
My stoma and my bag are what made me the person I am today. Brave, strong, understanding, and reliable. I'm more tolerant of some things too, but I would never have turned out like this if it weren't for my lovely bag. I really think that I've learned to truly accept it, and although I will always despise how I look with it (only because I remember what I looked like without it), I will always be thankful that it saved my life and allowed me to meet my wonderful partner.
JOY TO BAGS EVERYWHERE!!
Sounds like your good judgment in measured communications won the day. You know how to turn apparent adversity into great advantage. Honesty and courage triumph again.
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Really enjoyed reading your blog, hearing how happy you are has put a smile on my face. Not so sure about the "no matter how old you are" bit, I've waited my whole life for a prince to come along and believe me I've kissed a few frogs in my time!! I've pretty much given up on finding that someone special now but I'm so happy for you, and I wish you the very best of everything. x
Enjoyed reading your blog. You will help a lot of people with your positive attitude. Hope all goes well with your new man in your life xx
How to Manage Emotions with LeeAnne Hayden | Hollister
Your boyfriend sounds like a real keeper. Hang on to him and don't let go. Good luck!
A true love story. The best thing I've read in ages! Thank you. God bless!
I just think that you are a real inspiration to so many girls with or without a bag! I remember the exact moment when my spouse asked to see my bag!! OMG! I don't think I had shown it to anyone beside my doctor or nurses!! I was shocked and surprised because I had never thought in a million years I would be able to be intimate with anyone ever again! I too knew that I was looking at someone very special and we are still very happy 10 years later!! Now I think he knows more about me and my illness than I do!! LOL Hold on and don't let go. I think you found a keeper!!! Your happiness is infectious!!! Thanks for sharing with us!!
Wooo hooo Fran, very happy for you, and I agree about some things having a stoma and going through what we all have. My illness is 23 years now, longer than you have been on this planet, lol. And I still have the stay-back part of me, but I also feel some empowerment as well. We all have had to think like others don't. I too looked at my abdomen and gave it a run the night before my first operation and thought, well, see you later (or not). Maybe it's time for many to think, hang on, what the heck have I been so worried about? Well, I am for sure happy for you and hope things only get better and better with time. Now, what college should I go to besides a spelling class, lolol. Great to pop back in and read an uplifting story for a change. Thanks, Fran, and enjoy all that awaits you. XXXXX Mooza. Oh, I've been MIA for a while myself, another operation, my 9th, but still in good (kinda) spirits. Send me some of that energy, darlz, for Monday, 27th Feb. Cheers, Moozeeeee.
What a great blog! You sound so amazingly strong. I have a temporary ostomy. It was supposed to be removed on the 17th of this month, but they found cancer. Now I have to wait until September or October before the reversal. I get dragged down so easily nowadays, and posting on here really helps because everyone is so amazing. You are so young, and I applaud your strength. I am so glad you found happiness, and that your family and friends are so supportive of you. That really makes the difference. I too have an amazing husband and children, and several friends that lift me up. I wish you the very best of life and happiness. Good luck in all your ventures.
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Franica, I just read your blog and I have to say, I am a 60-year-old man and have been to hell and back in my life. I have thought that I have seen and learned so much in this life. But you have just given me one of the most loving stories I have ever been blessed to read. You are beyond your years in wisdom. I am going to retire today after 39 years in the same company, going through a divorce after 39 years, and starting a whole new life. And it scares the hell out of me until I read your blog. I was blessed with a loving lady from England that I love dearly, but the distance made it so hard and my responsibilities here have caused me to place us on hold. It has broken my heart, but your story has given me hope that true love will win out in the end. Thank you for your willingness to tell your story because you're right. No matter what age we are, it is love that sustains us and without it, we merely just exist. There is much more to life than just doing that. Thank you. Brooklyn