Hello

I have been quiet for a few days, still trying to deal with the manic stuff. I am doing better today with an increase in my medication and the addition of a narcotic sleeping pill. I am sleeping 2 hours a night now, hoping for more sleep soon. I have been heading to the gym at 5 am to work out on the bikes for an hour. I have been baking stuff for the holiday season, and that keeps me busy and my mind off everything else. I miss you guys here, though (guys meaning both males and females, LOL). I hope to be back to regular posting soon. I am still falling apart health-wise. But I gave "marvin" a shower today and a fresh new bag to destroy. He thanked me by pooping on my hand before I could even get the bag on. Oh well, such is life. I am icing my ankle for the first time in a week or so. It just refuses to heal and behave. (I sprained it way back in June and tore the tendon vertically rather than horizontally.) Ever since, it has refused to behave, and I must wear a brace at all times (except in the shower). I even wear the brace to bed. Lately, my output has been thick, I mean not formed or anything but thicker than it ever was before. It might be the iron I am taking, as it happened right around the time I started taking iron. I haven't really changed anything else. But I have noticed that if I drink a Glucerna, my output is higher volume and more liquid. Not sure why that is. Anyhow, just wanted to stop in and say hi. Thanks for listening.

Lee

Lee, one day at a time, I hope things get better for you and Marvin behaves. You're going through a lot, and you're at the right place to vent. Hugs and have a blessed day!

Hi Lee,

I hope things get better for you soon. 

One day at a time is all we can do.

Take care

Hi Lee, glad you popped in for an update. I see you still have a sense of humor telling us about Marvin thanking you. Iron will thicken your output. Just as you and others have mentioned, one day at a time. Hopefully, you will start getting more sleep. I hope your ankle heals soon. Hugs

Lee, my father was bipolar big time. He was in and out of hospitals because of manic episodes, often restrained. He was a quiet, lovely man, and it was painful to watch him suffer. Eventually, he became so depressed he was in bed most of the time.

You are fortunate to articulate your frustration, but that doesn't help the pain you experience with a disease that renders you helpless at times.
In addition to your mental affliction, you have additional trials from physical ones, especially an ostomy.

Keep fighting the good fight and love yourself.

How to Manage Ostomy Leaks with LeeAnne Hayden | Hollister

I am sorry your father struggles with Bipolar too. It can be unrelenting at times. I am finally starting to come down off my cloud now, hoping I don't crash and burn. My psych nurse says we are going to try to level off instead of crashing. I don't know, I have a bad feeling that it is not going to be as smooth as she thinks it is going to be. But as I said in another post, I did actually sleep 4 hours last night with about a hour between each set of 2 hours. One day at a time, one night at a time I guess.

Lee

I try to keep up a sense of humor. It is one of the 7 resiliencies. Honestly I am usually not trying to be funny when it just happens. My mom thinks I am funny too but sometimes she thinks that when I am being dead serious. So I think sometimes it is unintentional. 

Lee

Yep, one day at a time, one night at a time, one hour at a time, and sometimes even one minute at a time.

Lee

Marvin needs to learn to behave. In a couple weeks he will be 9 months old. It's about time he starts acting his age! 😜

Lee

Lee, you're going to be okay!

Dear Lee,

I wish I was closer and could come and hug you.

My husband is a fast-cycling bipolar and has a bad habit of drinking to stop his thoughts from hurting him...

His trigger is emotional stress... Imagine what happened when I had my surgery... but then he fought and stayed sober as he knew I needed him... and I fought and stayed strong because I needed him to be well as I was unable to help while stranded in a hospital bed.

I hate when the "bad man" takes over; it changes his face, eyes, and behavior... I hate that I cannot do anything to stop him from hurting inside and damaging himself.

You guys are wonderful for fighting to stay strong and stay with us; we love you so much... please rely on us, ask for whatever we can do to help, we will be there!

Thanks so much for your kind words. I think self-medicating is a very common thing for people with bipolar. I used to drink a lot when manic but haven't drunk since having my ostomy. I heard it's bad for the ostomy to drink. I also got separated from drinking for 7 years due to where I was living (in care). So that helped me stop drinking too. I'm sorry your husband has to deal with so much. My heart really goes out to the two of you. You must be very strong to stand by him no matter what he is going through. I am here to listen to you too and help in any way that I can.

Lee