Supporting My Wife's Recovery and Appetite Post-Ostomy Surgery

Alright so I'm not an ostomy patient just a very concerned husband. My wife just had the surgery, emergent surgery, 3 weeks ago. Nothing we were really prepared for. She spent a month in the hospital before someone competent figured this out. Then a month recovery, 3 blood infusions, and a drainage from an abscess. 

Anyways, she's lost between 30 and 40 lbs. And has no appetite. The smell of food makes her nauseous. If she is able to eat anything it's only a couple of bites. She's beyond depressed because she's positive she will never get her appetite back and waste away.

Any tips, tricks, advice I can get to help her regain the urge to eat or general timeline for wanting to eat or ANYTHING, would help greatly.

First, she needs to be seen by a doctor ASAP; as in go to your ER immediately.  This might also help: https://www.ostomy.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/10/Ileostomy_Blockage_2020.pdf

I had this same issue upon release from the hospital with a drainage tube for an infected cyst …then a return trip for an ileostomy when someone decided it was what was needed.  All I can remember was my hubby fixing food for me and I could only swallow about 2 tablespoons of whatever he fixed and I choked that down to make him happy.…..cannot remember how long before I started actually eating again but it took time   I went from around 134 lbs (some of which was over hydration with IV’s) to just around 100 lbs.  when I was released.  The whole healing process takes time….which when illness is involved time cannot go by fast enough for the patient or the caregiver!  Day by day, things will improve but it is a struggle.  Think positive- these hard times will pass.  Negativity only tends to bring us down.  Look for all the ways to be positive…time will heal tho sometimes it’s difficult to imagine.  Chin up….and bless you and all who care for those who really need it.  jb

She spent the past two months in the hospital. They just discharged her on Friday. The drainage is good to go; they removed that before she left the hospital. She just has no appetite or desire to eat. A lot of stuff we have read says it could take a few days to several weeks to get it back. She definitely doesn't have a blockage. The last time we changed her bag, this morning, it projectile erupted. Nothing you can do but laugh at that time.

Rest assured she will get it back. After my 5th surgery and first emergency surgery, I had major issues in the hospital with my ileo. I dropped down to 98 pounds. Three months later, I had to have another emergency surgery and stoma number 6, all six in a year, but still at 98 pounds and no appetite. I was the same; all food made me nauseous, no appetite, smells made me sick to my stomach. The first couple of weeks, I had nothing but water, and then ice cream. It's all I could eat and wanted to eat. I ate ice cream and only ice cream for over a month, and slowly, little by little, I started eating food.

How to Manage Emotions with LeeAnne Hayden | Hollister

Laughing is good medicine. Don't forget a clothespin for the nose when you clean that mess up... laughing... Kodak moment.

You can try having her eat small amounts throughout the day rather than trying to eat a big meal or three big meals. Let her munch on something here and there, even if she is not really interested in food; she will be getting some nutrition. Also, products like Boost and Ensure might help. Finding the right one of those is key, though, because some people do better with Ensure, and some, like me, digest Boost more easily. They both make a high-protein version of their drinks. Being a drink, it might go down better than food. Just until she is back on her feet, so to speak. Being in the hospital for 2 months is draining on anyone and can cause weight loss, but especially when you are dealing with abdominal surgery. Give her some time to heal and some time for her stoma to settle down. It can be very busy for the first couple of months, producing a lot even if she is not eating a lot. That will calm some with time. Make sure she keeps up her hydration. If she isn't eating, she should at least be drinking. Water, electrolyte drinks, the works. You've got to keep the hydration up. Hang in there and tell her to do the same.

It is the weirdest feeling, having a plate of your favorite food in front of you... and having zero desire to eat it.  

During the 2 months I was sick before going into the hospital, I ate hardly anything.  My wife begged me to eat.  I forced myself to drink a couple bottles of Ensure everyday.  These are small bottles.  Took me 30 minutes to choke one down, one small sip at a time.  

Have you ate too much.  Remember what it felt like?  That's how I felt all the time.  As if I was full, but ate a little more.  And now my body said... you will not eat... period.

What helped.  Pineapple juice.  I would eat a small piece of chicken.  Chew...chew...chew.  took a sip of juice, and swallowed.  Crazy to say, it was like torture.  I would sit staring at a small plate of food for a long time, with my wife screaming at me to eat.

Once in the hospital, I wasn't allowed food or water.  Was on TPN For 3 weeks.  I lost 66 pounds over 2  months.

After surgery, the "full" feeling in my stomach went away in a week and a half.  I started eating ice cream.  Shakes.  Then protein bars and Ensure.  By the 3rd week post op, I was eating regular food again. 

Looking back, I can't believe I couldn't eat.  

Be sure your wife is examined to ensure everything physical is OK.  Ct scan, bloodwork.  Hidden latent problems can linger and manifest themselves later.  

Start out easy.  Shakes, ice cream, Ensure.  If she still is unable to eat, Doctors should be consulted.

I've definitely smelled and cleaned worse 😆 

I lost about 40 after my emergency surgery.  At first I literally couldn't eat (TPN) - then just no appetite when I could eat.  They gave me chocolate Ensure drinks in the hospital mixed with chocolate ice cream because nothing sounded good.  At home I started losing more weight again, like pound or two a day, so I drank Premier Protein drinks each day and just ate a little throughout the day.  Also, my daughter bought a big cheesecake (which is my favorite) and I forced myself to eat a piece each day - and it started to taste a little better each day.  She would pick up McDonalds also, since it was something I don't usually eat - but it tasted pretty good and the smell of it sometimes sparked my hunger.  Granted these are not 'good foods' for you...but they are high calorie and I think triggered my appetite to return, so short term they worked for me.  It is very sweet of you to write in for tips, I hope your wife makes a speedy recovery!

Hee hee..and u mention this..

As a good thing?  Small nose? 👃