Analogy follows: 3 packs of cookies made by three different manufacturers. For instance, chocolate chip cookies, one pack made by Keebler, another made by Chips Ahoy, and finally Mrs. Hill. What makes them different? The recipe?
All three companies' yearly profit is about 1 million. Neither of the three is trying to steal the other's recipe. Why? Because they have their own, and that's what makes them different.
In our society, we tend to follow others just to fit in. Some of us wear clothes that don't fit, shoes that hurt our poor feet, and sometimes forget who we are. Are we living our truth?
In 2015, after recovering from my surgery, the shame that remained in my head wouldn't allow me to tell those people whom I gathered with on Sundays. Initially, a lady who I believed or considered to be a friend was in the restroom during a time when I was changing my pouch. So I shared some very personal information with her about my surgery. Well heck, I might as well have announced it to the whole group. Mind you, these are people whom I've known for many years and some I actually love.
Listen, it took me until 2018 before I decided to share. I finally relented and told my story because of the frequent trips to the bathroom. Well, Monica then said, "If I had to live like you, I would die!" I responded by saying, "If I had to take care of your grandchildren I would die." Was it nice? Absolutely not... Last year I decided I would tell people about my condition myself. Therefore, there would be no need for anyone to whisper. I had to own my issues, which stopped the gossiping.
Do we have to fit in? I say no, we don't. There are many examples of people who are just trying to fit in. It's ok to be different. It's ok to wear suits, it's ok to wear dresses, and definitely ok to embrace your difference. You see, I can be another. Only I, and I truly mean me, can be that person who I want or need to be.
In regards to our differences from those outside this group, we sometimes feel we are broken people because we're different. I am talking about physical differences that sometimes affect us mentally. Leaving us with many types of hang-ups. Our husbands, wives, and lovers sometimes change towards us. Some leave and some stay. Sometimes our differences isolate us and cause much loneliness.
We are all different, not because of the surgery. We were different long before that even took place. We talked, walked, and looked different. Heck, and that's just the basics of our identity. I can't be you, nor can you be me. If I act like another, I lose myself, and that's not good for me. I mean, who or what am I changing for? What good would it do me to adapt to another person's ways? Is it possible to keep up with what society dictates?
There are days when I'm feeling down and even crying. But always in my mind, there is hope. You only get one time around, only one rehearsal. I have to get it right—if I don't, there's no do-over.
Best wishes,
Angelicamarie
