Darla,
Please don't consider yourself pesky for even a moment. I feel guilty for letting my writings here lapse.
I'm so happy to hear that you too are headed in a positive direction. To hear the things you have done along with the things you are planning makes me smile.
Yes, I am returning to work in a couple of weeks. It's with mixed emotions, but it is time.
Mentally, I wasn't up for it even as recently as a month ago. Perhaps it's the surgery, perhaps it's the nice weather we have been having, but I find myself having more feelings of contentment than I used to. It seemed to me I was having what I call anxiety attacks at the thought of work and some other things, but now it seems to have gone the other way.
Sadly, there is one demon I have to face, and that won't be easy. When I took sick last spring, I was just beginning a new relationship. She stuck by me through the hospitalization, the rehab, the sleepless nights. She even consented to let me stay at her home on discharge to make things easier. Then came the morning at the end of August. We were less than 24 hours from leaving on a week's vacation to her family cottage. She awoke, told me she "couldn't do this anymore"...not explaining what "this" was. She dropped my suitcases at my feet and left for work. While she was gone, I packed my things, dragged them all to my truck using my walker, and left. That was the last time I saw her or spoke to her. She actually went to work and told my friends that we were still going to her mother's as I was packing my things to leave her house.
Ok, so your first reaction is probably like most others..she isn't worth it, it's a long time ago..and things like that..Yes, I agree with that, however, we work together...yeah..ain't that a kick in the head.
I have been in touch with another coworker..she has had 10 months to tell "her side" of what happened and drum up sympathy for herself..trouble is, none of it is based in truth.
However...I digress..often..
I just want to walk back into work, feeling and looking like a new man..and I hope she feels that she made a mistake. My mother never raised me to wish bad things on anyone, and I really don't wish her harm..I just want her to feel bad for awhile..like I did.
Sorry if that exposes a not so nice side of me..I guess I'm still mad. Sure, people break up. Adults don't lie..that's the difference..I was left stunned.
Other than that, yes, I look forward to seeing the guys that work for me, co-workers from other departments and having some social contacts again. The good news..my work shirts and pants all fit me 30 lbs ago!..they hang off me now!
My only concern, after reading your post, was the rate at which my stoma site is healing. I guess I had it figured it would be farther along by now..