YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST! Santa Claus has an ileostomy. After years of squeezing down chimneys, which everyone knows are filled with carcinogens, Santa got rectal cancer. It ultimately spread into his colon and Santa got sick as hell. One of his trusty elves, who happened to moonlight at a second job in a gastroenterologist’s office, made an appointment for him and, sure enough, Santa needed surgery. He ran into a problem when, at the onset of the following Xmas season, little children jumping into his lap at the mall caused several accidents. A new elf researched the issue and ordered him a stoma guard and a special protective belt which seemed to solve the problem, especially after he remembered to keep the little kiddies on the side of his lap away from his appliance. He retrofitted his North Pole bathroom to more readily enable him to change in a more ostomy-friendly environment, with more counter space and the addition of a heating element. It wasn’t too long after his surgery that his old ho-ho-ho returned in full throat and he even named his stoma Rudolph.
HenryM
Dec 24, 2021 8:45 am
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First off, this is a pretty cool site with 37,000 members who truly understand you.
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Hollister
Resuming your personal and work life after ostomy surgery can be challenging to adjust to a new life.
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Learn ways to adjust to life after ostomy surgery.
Living with Your Ostomy | Hollister
