YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST! Santa Claus has an ileostomy. After years of squeezing down chimneys, which everyone knows are filled with carcinogens, Santa got rectal cancer. It ultimately spread into his colon and Santa got sick as hell. One of his trusty elves, who happened to moonlight at a second job in a gastroenterologist’s office, made an appointment for him and, sure enough, Santa needed surgery. He ran into a problem when, at the onset of the following Xmas season, little children jumping into his lap at the mall caused several accidents. A new elf researched the issue and ordered him a stoma guard and a special protective belt which seemed to solve the problem, especially after he remembered to keep the little kiddies on the side of his lap away from his appliance. He retrofitted his North Pole bathroom to more readily enable him to change in a more ostomy-friendly environment, with more counter space and the addition of a heating element. It wasn’t too long after his surgery that his old ho-ho-ho returned in full throat and he even named his stoma Rudolph.
HenryM
Dec 24, 2021 8:45 am
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Hollister
The quality of your life is impacted by your daily routine. Developing a healthy eating style can ensure a fast recovery from ostomy surgery, and continued health.
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Follow our tips to help keep you on track
How to Get Back to Fitness After Ostomy Surgery with Ryan | Hollister
