Retroactive Ejaculation after Surgery - Seeking Advice

So here's what happened...

I had my rectum removed two weeks ago (my fourth surgery). They warned me about complications and sexual dysfunction just like all the other surgeries, but I think this time something actually happened.

I masturbated today for the first time since surgery. I did not get a full (or even partial) erection, but I was using a special lubricant which helped me eventually orgasm. However, when I finally did, I felt a painful sensation in my bladder which I'm assuming is what the doctors are referring to when they talk about retroactive ejaculation. And the only thing that came out of my penis was a very, very small amount of brown liquid which I'm assuming was blood.

I know that 5% of all male pelvic surgeries cause this problem, but here's what I need to know from any man who's had it or any woman who knows about it:

Is what I described retroactive ejaculation or something else?

How permanent is it?

Does this mean I'll never have children?

Even if it is permanent, will the erection part still come back after my pelvis has healed?

I'm really scared and any advice on this issue would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,

-Jake

Jake,

What you are describing is known as "retrograde ejaculation". Answers to all your questions are easily found online. You might begin with WebMD:

http://www.webmd.com/sexual-conditions/retrograde-ejaculation

There is absolutely no need for any fear. There's plenty of information available as well as effective treatments. Good luck!

PB

For what it's worth....

I had a similar experience after my surgery. Must say, it really freaked me out at the time. Felt like I came, but no visual evidence and some minor pain and a period of the body recouping from surgery and getting off some of the meds. Things got better. I don't have erections as large as before or the same sex drive, which just might be an age thing –(ugh), but the plumbing does work and flow in the right direction.

Best of luck.

I have had similar issues since my surgery in 2000. I think it's fairly common as there are so many nerves around the rectum area. Be advised that nerves heal very slowly, but at your age, you have a good chance they will return to near normal. While my erections did come back, they were and still are not as reliable as pre-surgery. My ability to ejaculate did not return, quite possibly because I also had radiation to that area and the tube that delivers the goods is small and delicate (I'm guessing, I'm not a doctor). Anyhow, the prescription meds available for ED will help, but again, nothing is 100% reliable for me. I still have a decent sex life, but it requires a dedicated partner who will go the extra mile. It's early yet, give things time and talk to your doctor about a script for Cialis. They used to give you the first dose free. I would take the smallest dose possible to get the desired results as over time its effects diminish, in my case anyhow. Good luck...might want to keep us updated as others may be in a similar condition and watching this thread.

Thank all of you. And I promise I'll keep this thread updated and let you know what I learn as things progress.

Getting Support in the Ostomy Community with LeeAnne Hayden | Hollister

Hi slc,

You are only 2 weeks post-op. Interior stitches start dissolving at about 10 days, so it is much too early to judge how good your sexual function will eventually be. Nerves can take up to 2 years to heal, and skin scarring is the way that it will always be after about 9 months.

Just focus on getting through this post-op period for now, eh?

Hi Jake (all)

I was thinking of writing to you privately, but then changed my mind. I'm so sorry to hear that you are experiencing this post-surgical complication. I'm female, so my issues were different, but I do know many guys who've had difficulty after surgery. It's really way too soon to know exactly how much function you will get back. It's scary....having to wait and think that this important aspect of your life might be changed....or "over". Try to have some patience...

I've had my ostomy for more than 50 years (since I was 15), but when I had my rectum removed 4 years later (because it just wouldn't heal - UC), some sort of damage or trauma during surgery caused my bladder to stop working. Although I recovered from the surgery in 2 weeks, my parents wouldn't take me home (with a catheter) until the doctors could resolve the bladder issue. I can write about all the tests and procedures meds they tried on me over a ten-week period, but to no avail. I could not pee. And so I lived with a catheter and had to stay put in the hospital. The doctors were busy discussing doing another surgery (ureterostomy?) and then I would have two stomas, 2 bags? My parents were frantic, and I was so scared that I'd never get out of the hospital and never get to have a "normal" life. And then one day.....I literally "dribbled" out some urine....It wasn't easy, and I had no sensation, but eventually I learned how to "bear down" and push out the urine, instead of the normal "relax release". I was finally able to go home....and my parents never really found out what had happened during surgery to cause this issue.

Unknown to my parents....my big anxiety was "would I still work". I was dating, but had not had intercourse prior to this surgery for a variety of reasons. My parents were involved in my life doctor's appointments, and I was still getting probed and prodded and having rectal exams.... I just felt that the doctor or my mother would "notice" something if I were sexually active. But once I healed, my then-fiancé and I had sex for the first time...and second time...and then again and again....and I felt nothing. I was devastated and wanted to end my engagement. But after talking to a therapist, I was encouraged to "give it time"... We did some reading (on sexual response) and eventually I responded. Because I'd not had sex prior to the surgery, I'll never know if there was a difference. It has to be difficult for those people who had experience prior....and then had changes and damage.

I do know this.....from age, from experience, and from dating men who had some degree of ED due to cancer, radiation, diabetes, medication, etc.... That with the right partner, a healthy, exciting, and fulfilling sex life is still possible. The man I am seeing (had prostate cancer, radiation) and though he is able to ejaculate most of the time....he does have discomfort and "dry" issues on occasion. He's been told that it's somewhat "normal". When he looks at himself and says "I used to get so hard", I respond, "and my boobs used to stand up". Ok....it's not the same.. But I've found that I don't make love to/with an appendage. We make love/have sex with a person..... and there's a lot of ways to find fulfillment. My guy and I joke about being "Old" and having more action now than we did over the last 20 years... I wish you patience....with yourself and with finding a partner that will be loving and caring enough to help you through this difficult time.

Marsha

You can't go at all by what is happening now, because your body will continue to heal. Whatever kind of 2 or 4 or 6 week or whatever time frame for healing doesn't really mean that much. That's the time frame to get back to doing most of what you usually do, but the healing process keeps on going for a long time. My perineal wound (the sewn up butt) took over 4 years to really heal, and I'm not alone in that. I mention that because your body is continuing the healing process, so things will likely keep healing and getting better for a long, long time, so keep the faith.

Removal of your rectum obviously leaves a void, so it takes your body awhile to internally move and adjust organs to get a better equilibrium. Your body is very likely to keep getting better on its own. Just give it some time.

Hello.