Ostomy Questions - Pouch changes, emptying, bowel control, limitations, relationships, and more!

Hello, my name is Lily. I am writing to you all because my professor has requested from me to arrange a couple of questions of my own and find out answers from your end. I would really appreciate it if you all could answer my questions.

1. What is the best time to change your pouch?

2. How many times do you empty it out and how?

3. Can you control your bowel movements?

4. What are some limitations that you find yourselves having?

5. Can you have intimate relationships or get pregnant with an ostomy?

Thank you!

I change mine every 2 days and after showering. I have a urostomy, a little different. The limitations are being so active and end up with a leak. I can be intimate but I need a little help. Hope this helps.

Thank you, that did help.

Hello Lily. I will try to be helpful and answer your questions but I irrigate now, so no longer use 'bags' as I use plugs. However, my strategy hasn't changed much so I will answer according to what I was doing when I did use bags.

1) I changed mine every day - in the morning after A BATH.

2 I emptied it each time it had stuff in it - which was about every hour. and I washed it out after each use. 

3) I can now - I could not then

4) Having access to a loo at all times. - emotional and psycholgical adjustments

5) Nothing stops intimate relationships - except perhaps willingness on the part of the partner. I cannot get pregnant (yet) as I'm male!! 

I hope this helps and best wishes

Bill

What are you studying? I have a colostomy.

1 - When it is full or has some content, any time of day.

2 - Mostly once a day, sometimes twice or none, once in awhile 3. Remove bag and put on a new one.

3 - No

4 - I can do most everything I did before but I do not have the same strength or stamina. I can get upset, angry, frustrated easily.

5 - Intimate yes but sex takes some work.

My niece has two kids with an ileostomy.

Getting Support in the Ostomy Community with LeeAnne Hayden | Hollister

Miss Lily,

This is a great question for all ostomates on the site. You will find quite a few unique answers as there are different ostomies and you have to take it from both the male and female point of views. I myself have an ileostomy.

1. What is the best time to change your pouch?

- I have a 1-piece drainable pouch and I change it every 3-4 days. The best time to change it is when the stoma is not as active. Mornings after a shower works best for me.

2. How many times do you empty it out and how?

- I empty my pouch anywhere from 4-8 times a day depending on what I've eaten or drank. Some foods/drinks move through your system faster than others. Since it's a 1-piece drainable, I empty it by unfastening a clip at the bottom of the pouch, drain it, clean it with tissue, and then fasten it back up.

3. Can you control your bowel movements?

- No. An ileostomy is formed from the ileum where the large and small intestine meet. Movements from this portion of the bowel are involuntary.

4. What are some limitations that you find yourself having?

- Personally, I don't have any limitations other than not taking my shirt off at the beach. But with ostomy surgery, one of the main risks are hernias. So if there is a limitation, it's lifting heavy things or lifting heavy things incorrectly.

5. Can you have intimate relationships or get pregnant with an ostomy?

- Yes, you can have intimate relationships and get pregnant but again, each situation is unique. Pregnancy on the woman's side will depend on if the reasoning for the ostomy involves cancer or any other life-threatening disease. About 10% of men have issues with sexual function if their prostate has been removed.

I myself have a very healthy sex life. I've never met a woman that had a problem with my ostomy, but they HAVE had a problem with my fuckboy attitude...lol. But other ostomates suffer from a warped body image. It's all about confidence and your state of health. And from some of the forum posts from this website, women are FAR more accepting when it comes to dating a man with an ostomy as opposed to the reverse because most men are visual creatures and like aesthetically pleasing things. That's my opinion at least. Does anyone agree/disagree?

Bain

As the only woman to answer so far, it might help lol.

I change my bag every 4 days. I usually do it in the morning before I have eaten. I have a 2-piece moldable convex appliance.

I have an ileostomy, so it pretty much runs whenever it wants, so I have no control over my bowel movement. I just sit on the tub and lean over the toilet...unclip it...empty it...wipe it off and clip it and wipe it again.

When I'm in a relationship, I have had a healthy sex life. Some guys shy away from being with me because I have it...but the men I have been with have been awesome about it. I do suffer a negative body image when first rejected by a guy, but I get over it.

Did I answer all of your questions? I hope I helped!

I am studying nursing.

1.   When you change your wafer, I use a sustainable pouch.

2.   It depends on how much you eat - 5 or so times per day

3.   No

4.   No heavy weight lifting

5.   Yes

Lilly

1. If you really want answers, you should go through all the old posts because everyone is different and reacts differently to ostomy products. Some products don't work well with some people's skin, so we are told to try many different ones until we find one that works best with our body. So, changing can depend on how much a person eats or drinks, or if the weather is too hot and sweat breaks the seal. If the person was to get a nice round stoma, oval shape, inny stoma, that changes how many times they might have to change. So, as you can see, this is just a part of your questions for one answer. Plus, if you go into the chat section, people will tell you everything they have learned from what they have gone through.

2. Depends on what I eat.

3. No, it has a mind of its own (colostomy acts like an ileostomy).

4. Lifting (hernias), water (makes wafer fall off), heat (causes leaks).

5. Yup, my soldier still responds when called on. Lucky me.

I hope you become a good nurse that listens to what people tell you. I never liked the nurses that really don't listen. I called them nurses from hell (Helga the Terrible) or super douchebag, depending on how bad they were. It didn't matter if they were male or female. I have had some really good nurses and then some that should have never been a nurse.

And yes, I do understand the "suck it up buttercup" mentality. Everyone is different in recoveries. Some need more care than others.

Hi Lily

Hope you are getting some good answers to help with your studies

I am female and have had my ileostomy since I was 37 and am now 51 years old. At the time I was a solo mom with a 6-year-old boy. Over time I worked out a system that best works for my lifestyle - a bit of trial and error at first but now got it down pat!

1. What is the best time to change your pouch?

Usually after a shower is best and not just after a big meal. Everyone's bowel movements are different so your stoma may be active at different times of the day but most would be more active after eating so just easier to change it when it's in "silent" mode. Having said that, doesn't really matter just have lots of tissues handy in case of an accident! Depending on how active you are the pouch can last for 3 - 4 days but on a really hot day or if you are exercising and get sweaty, better to change it about every 2nd day - mine is a one pouch and really easy to change, only takes a couple of minutes. Just peel off, clean the skin and stick a fresh one on

2. How many times do you empty it out and how?

About the same as when you would go to urinate just empty your bag at the same time into the toilet bowl. Nobody even knows what you are doing. My bag has a Velcro strip at the end that you just undo, let out the content, wipe clean with toilet paper, fasten up again and you're good to go for a few more hours!

3. Can you control your bowel movements?

No, never! It has a mind of its own. But having lived with Ulcerative Colitis for many years I never had any control over it then either and that was a lot harder to live with if you were not near a toilet. With a bag you don't have to empty it straight away as it tends to just trickle in a bit at a time over a few hours unless you eat something that upsets your bowel, then it can be a lot of input all at once - no different than someone without a bag with an upset tummy

4. What are some limitations that you find yourself having?

Only limitations that I put on myself mainly. I don't like to go swimming now although I know I could but am scared the bag may fall off.

Can't play any contact sports, have to be careful not to knock your stoma as can cause damage if you do. Maybe gridiron football or something would not be advisable

Certain clothes I no longer like to wear such as tight jeans that press on your stoma. Just need to find clothes that sit above the bag and then all good.

5. Can you have intimate relationships or get pregnant with an ostomy?

Definitely yes. Always dependent on your state of health of course. Just make sure to empty your bag before being intimate and you can continue the same as if you do not have a bag. Mostly the problem is with body image. Having the right partner which I luckily do will eliminate this

It does not stop you from getting pregnant but you would need to be monitored during the pregnancy and possibly if female as your stomach swells I imagine could become more difficult to change or empty the pouch. Maybe someone who has had a baby while wearing a pouch could help with that? Also not sure how you would get on if needed a c-section as my c-section scar from prior to ostomy runs right by my ostomy scar...

As most people with an ostomy will tell you it just becomes a way of life for you and after a while you don't even think about it anymore. At first, you are always thinking about when you need to change your bag or go empty it or who's looking at your bag, but after so many years it's no big deal

Hope that helps:)

What is the best time to change your pouch? Before dinner or a heavy meal when output is slower.
How many times do you empty it out and how? I personally don't like the weight, so I empty it every time I urinate and/or when it feels heavy.
Can you control your bowel movements? No, I can't control the movements, but I can slow them down or thicken them, etc. as I have no large bowel. It goes whenever it wants.
What are some limitations that you find yourself having? Being as active as before, examples include lifting, moving items, lack of energy, and strength.
Can you have intimate relationships or get pregnant with an ostomy? I'm not sure about pregnancy, but many members here had an ostomy in their younger years and have children. I guess it would depend on the surgery and what was left. As far as intimacy, yes, certainly you can. Remembering there are many ways for parties to enjoy sex.
Good luck with your class.

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