Adjusting Diet Post-Ostomy Surgery: Seeking Advice and Support

I'm not new here. I'm a month out of my final bag. I've had a previous take down in 1/17 but back on in 3/17. You can look at my previous posts but here's my latest stuff. I'm 7 ish weeks out of my bag. Yea! Hope final bag. Poopin OK. Mexian food not good for me. Watch that. I'm starting to have depression issues again, but recognize them. That's why I'm writing. I want help with others in same or similar situations. My poopin is not working out right. Diet? Yea. I'm fuckin up. But, I'm. Yea I know. Just want support with like minded peeps. Any advise is welcome. Love

Hello Irjosh. Sorry to hear thatyour are having problems with depression it's bad enough coping with the stoma but to suffer with our emotions somehow seems even worse.  Coping and managing bouts of depression is not unlike managing the physical stuff inasmuch as  we are all different and what works for one person may not work for another.  I had a salutory experience many years ago when I was helping people with 'anger-management', only to find that some of them who 'recovered', then reported that they were suffering from 'depression'.  I was then I began devising a new theory, that all emotions emanate from the same energy force and if that isn't controlled and managed, then sorting one out, might simply result in another becoming prominent. What is needed in those circumstances is an approach that looks at 'emotional-control' in a more generalised sense. I devised and developed a programme which addressed these issues and seemed to be successful with suitable candidates.  As with most theories, it has many facets and complexities which would not besuitable for trying to expound here. However, the basic pinciples surround the notion that emotions are 'instincts' which, in primitive times  used to be  survival strategies.(nothing wrong with that in primitive times) They tend to be instantaneous AND LACKING IN 'THOUGHT'. (oR RATHER THE LOGICAL THINKING COMES LATER). What my programe did, was to enable peole to practice 'THINKING' before acting on their emotions. The process was called 'Constructive Conversations' and  I wrote 4 books on the subject over a number of years. People who do not 'suffer' from lack of emotional control have often been 'taught' the techniques from early childhood so, if young children can learn the techniques, they cannot ba that difficult to learn. Unfortunately, in modern societies, the people who run them, have a vested interest in the bulk of the population to lack emotional control, becuse the associated impulsiveness of their actions, makes it easier to 'sell' them stuff that they don't really need. As with most things in life, It is not difficult to control emotions as long as you know what the problem is and what to do about it.  However, as with all new skills, it requires LEARNING AND PRACTICE BEFORE WE CAN BECOME PROFICIENT AT IT.

There was a thread on one of my blogs where I expounded my theories in more depth by having a conversation with others on this site. Infortunately, I cannot remember which blog it was. But if anyone else can recall it, perhaps they will chip-in and let us know. If if comes to me. I'll get back and let you know.

Best wishes

Bill      

Hello lrjosh. It's disconcerting when my memory lets me down  but I've done a quick search through my past blogs and the one I referred to about expounding and expanding theories on wayward emotions, was '11/02/16 GRATITUDE'. I hope it might be helpful to you in thinking more clearly about your depression and doing something positive towards bringing it under control.

Best wishes

Bill

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.  Just a couple of weeks ago, I posted a pretty lengthy blog entry myself about my own depression and extreme loneliness but I deleted it. I've been going through a rough time myself, and I honestly don't feel like I'm getting any better. I truly believe that the only reason I'm still here is because of the three people who depend on me.  It's a really rough feeling when you don't have the will to go on anymore. It's especially difficult knowing that I'm only still here due to a promise made I to others, not because of a desire to want to be here anymore.  I looked into local support groups but the closest is over an hour away.  I've had an ileostomy for 24+ years but I've never actually met another ostomate.  This whole online community thing just doesn't do it for me; I need companionship in the real world.  My biggest issue is my complete lack of confidence and no self-worth.  I don't know how men with ostomies can date and have healthy sex lives... I know it all boils down to confidence but I have none left and I'm at the point where I just feel empty inside, just a useless shell that clocks in and out of work, then sleeps alone on the couch when I'm not working.  I don't wish this loneliness on anyone.  And it's not that it's all simply about sex, because that's not it.  I'm just talking about general intimacy, just holding a partner close.  I literally haven't touched another human being in thirteen years, and I feel like a creep when I try to break the ice with someone, so I just hide back in my shell as a recluse just wishing for it all to end. I just don't know what to do anymore. I really don't.

Hello KLV. You describe your symptoms very well and it is hard to see a way around this problem by yourself. If the online approach doesn't work for you, then I would suggest trying personal counselling of some kind. There are plenty of organisations (apart from the NHS in the UK) who will offer this free of charge. I don't know what the situation is regarding free services in the USA but you should not keep the problem to yourself, as this can often make things worse over time. Try not to restrict yourself to stoma support groups as they do not necessarily specialise in emotional coping problems. Depression is a 'killer' and it is much more important that you get support for that, than it is to get support for the physical stuff. Of course, both types of support happening simultaneously would be good.

Best wishes

Bill 

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