Oh my gosh, I really wish I would have had some of the information you have received when I was going through my poop terrors. Here goes... I developed a fistula while receiving radiation for a rare tumor that was between the rectal wall and the vaginal wall. A fistula formed; this was not exactly what was needed at the time, that is for sure. I was fortunate (I guess) that the fistula was very low in the vaginal wall, almost to the opening, which made it easier for cleaning.
The fistula stayed after the radiation was over and dealt me all sorts of hell. I was afraid to leave the house; this little darling had a mind of its own. It would erupt at any time with no warning, but mostly no control, none, so the elimination (which was always just liquid) would exit through the fistula and gush out the vaginal opening, and there just wasn't a muscle available to try to stop it! Not only was this embarrassing, it was painful, as radiated tissue is very sensitive (after all, the tissue had just been 'nuked' every day for 6 weeks!) I was unable to have a repair done due to the shape the radiation left all the surrounding tissue, and as my colorectal doctor advised, "radiation is the gift that just keeps on giving... sometimes up to 3 years after treatments have stopped." Good news was, the tumor was gone (YAHOOTIE) .......and THEN... POOP terrors!
So I prayed... a lot, hoping I wouldn't have a surprise mess before I got home from the grocery store, and as far as going out to eat, that wasn't happening! After the 2-year mark, I attempted 3 times to have a fistula repair done. I never had an issue with the rectum not working before the radiation, which left me to believe, or hope, that there would be a way to plug this new path that appeared, and I could just have a normal poop...???? I fought, I cried, I denied that my remedy would be the colostomy, until I just could no longer live with the control this little fistula darling had over my life. So in 2008, I went to the colorectal doctor to see if he would give this another repair shot. He advised with the amount of damage that the radiation had done, left the tissue permanently destroyed, not only the rectal part but the vaginal wall as well.
I had the colostomy done, and he had to do a lot of repair of the vaginal wall as well while in there. The fact I don't think was discussed with me... was how this would leave the vagina itself. (I will tell you this, not to scare, but please discuss all possible issues that a surgery will leave you with, or in my case, not leave you with) I at this time, still cannot have a vaginal exam without twilight sedation. The pain is just too much, the cavity that 'used' to be, is no longer, the normal elasticity, is no longer, and in my mind, sex is in the past. (I am single, so haven't approached this...) I realize that sharing the fact of not only having a colostomy but that vaginal sex was no longer an option... is really going to take a very special man to take all that on. and that's a whole new section to talk about!
I sometimes still have struggles with the whole 'ostomy' thing... then I remind myself, I am still here, I am finally healthy and strong again, I can be in public, and eat out, and very best of all, I have a gift of two wonderful granddaughters that have been born since all of the "poop terror"! And they are the light of my life! So, is it worth it? Yup, would I do it again? I didn't have a choice, so yup.
If you would ever like to visit by phone, just let me know, I will be open to any questions you may have, xoxoxo